Pressure to Breastfeed

Hope27

Hi, I'm only 2 months pregnant (delighted) and I haven't been for my hospital appointment yet.

I'm just wonder what's the general consensus when it comes to breast feeding? Do the hospital put pressure on the mother to breastfeed or is it a case of them recommending it and then leaving it with you?

I would like to give it a try and maybe do both breast and bottle for the 1st week or 2 but I want to be able to do it in my own time, i.e. I don't want nurse throwing the baby at my nipples the minute he/she is born.. Sorry if that sounds selfish I just have a bit of a phobia, probably because my boobs are so sore at the moments it's something that's causing me to wince at the thought of it.. Hopefully that will get better though..

Sorry for the rambling post, just trying to get an idea of what to expect..

Thanks

Oh and any stories/experiences/advice will be warmly received

Moonbeam

My experience is they do not pressurise you and if the baby is not getting enough food or you want the choice are more then happy for you to combine bottle and breast feeding.

Nevyn

Ideally if you are well enough and so it the baby you should start breastfeeding with in the first hour or so of the baby being born. Usually the midwife assisting you will have talked with you about if you are going to try beforehand so that she can help wiht getting you both started. Breastfeeding so soon after birth helps with the womb contracting and the starting of the process of your womb shrinking.

It can be a bit tricky but by the time I had gave bith to my second I knew what to expect and was breastfeeding her while having a cup of tea while the midwife filled the charts while still in the delivery suite.

While in the hospital once you have said you are breastfeeding they won't want you to stop, but it's up to you to do what is best for you and for the baby and it's your call.

cynder

having 3 kids breastfeeding 1 and bottle feeding 2, I found the nurses a lot more helpfull and attentive when your breast feeding.


on my 3rd trip to hospital they ran out of rounded teats on ward 1 and only had nuk ones, they ould not go to ward 2 for the rounded ones and my lad refused to drink from the nuk ones, it was quite in the hospital and all ward 1 was moved to ward 2 and i got my rounded teats, if that hadn't of happened i would of marched up to ward 2 and got them myself.


Congrats and best of luck.

crazy cat lady

Some midwives are very pro-breastfeeding and will encourage it, especially if you are open to suggestion, and some even if you are not!

Others will take the frame of mind that as long as the baby is fed and both mum and baby are happy in the method of feeding, then that is what they will support.

My advice will be to be clear in what you want to do when the baby is born, but have a back-up plan. You will be asked very early on in the pregnancy if you intend to breastfeed. If you are unsure, say so! That way you'll be given lots of information and there are plenty of us on here who I'm sure would be all too happy to share their experiences!

LegacyUser

I felt the pressure from my sister, she is just way over the top on wanting people to b/feed.
I wasnt into doing it but when baby arrived very sick and was in ICU for weeks, the consultant she b/milk would help her so she wouldnt latch on so I expressed for a month and then bottlefeed. Go with the flow how you feel now will be different once you give birth. At the end of the day your baby will trive either being b/feed or bottle feed and best of luck with whatever you choose.

Terpsichore

You're going to be a Mum. It's well about time you don't let people around you pressure you for such personal choices.
The medical staff, no matter how impressive they might be to you, have no say in your decision on how you want to feed your baby.
Be proud of your choice and stick with it! After all, you are the one who will go home with Little Baba and who will cope with him/her for the rest of your life.
Happy days! and Congratulations!

carrot_flowers

I am a bit worried about breastfeeding as well. I want to use a breastpump to get the milk out and feed the baby using this as much as possible, the reason not flat out breastfeeding being that I have ridiculously sensitive nipples already and I don't think I could handle it if the baby sucked too hard/much as well as when they start getting their teeth in...:eek: sounds way too painful to me.

My mum in law, having breastfed her first 2 boys, she fed her youngest son with soya milk as he was allergic to milk from day 1-and he grew up very healthy, save for some skin problems. This made me curious as well about other types of milk, like coconut and almond milk. Has anyone else on here fed their babies with alternative milk(s)? If so how did that turn out?

LashingLady

carrot_flowers wrote: »

I am a bit worried about breastfeeding as well. I want to use a breastpump to get the milk out and feed the baby using this as much as possible, the reason not flat out breastfeeding being that I have ridiculously sensitive nipples already and I don't think I could handle it if the baby sucked too hard/much as well as when they start getting their teeth in...:eek: sounds way too painful to me.

Just my two cents but to be honest I think expressing would be waaay too much work because basically you have to spend the time pumping and then the time feeding baby, and little babies can take a long time feeding, so it would be double the work for you than breastfeeding alone.

Some one at work said that she thinks breastfeeding worked so well for her because she used nipple shields right from the start. Apparently they have a bad name because the old ones were really thick plastic but the new style are very thin and flexible so if you are worried about sensitivity you might want to try them. I could stand corrected by some of the more experienced breastfeeders though!!

Nevyn

I wasn't able to breastfeed with out the nipples shields, they were a gods send.
The action of the baby suckling stimulates the production of breast milk esp the full milk a few days after birth and it can be very hard work to get that going just using a pump.

Annie Bananie

I'm from Sweden, where about 99% of the women breast feed. I am not sure why but I think it might have to do with the really good maternity leave we get, so all women have the time to do it. Also it's never been a question about if you want it or not, it's how nature intended it to be

I now live in England where I think about half the women breast feed. The midwives here recommend you do at least try and breast feed. The fist milk is called colostrum and is filled with antibodies and protects your baby from the start from infections etc. So even if you do not want to continue, the first couple of days of breast feed will give your baby a good head start in life

Noone will force you to breast feed, but I am sure the nurses will tell you all the benefits that comes from it. I think you should find out all the information you can about both breast feed and bottle feed before you make up your mind.

I am 30 week pregnant with my first one and I will try and breast feed. To me it seems like the natural thing to do, plus the fact that you always have the food with you (no preparing and steralising) and it's for free!

Good luck to all of you Mums to be out there

caprilicious

Hi Hope27, congrats on your pregnancy I didn't find there was any pressure in the hospital where I was.

One thing I would advise is if you are considering breast feeding, then get a good book that explains the basics and what to expect.
I didn't so when the time came I wasn't well enough informed.

I suppose naively I assumed it'd all come naturally or I'd know what to do when the time came, but I had no clue about nipple shields or how long I should try baby on each breast in the beginning.

The problem with the hospital where I was is that it was extremely busy, the staff were obviously stretched to their limits (I seen very little of them, they were constantly on the go) so when I started having problems with the breastfeeding there was no one there to help me.
At least if you arm yourself with as much info as possible beforehand it mught make life easier for you.

Try not worry too much about your boobs being sore even though they are now, mine were really sore for the first 3 months of the pregnancy - I would literally be wincing with pain if my bra rubbed against my nipples they were really sensitive but were fine once I had baby

deisemum

I'd recommend being open minded and not have set views one way or the other, just see how you feel once baby arrives.

When you go on maternity leave it might be worth going along to a La Leche League or Cuidiu meeting and get to meet other breastfeeding mums who can share tips, or provide you the opportunity to make contacts such so that if needs be you can phone someone with whatever query you have once baby arrives.

Jinxi

My sis just had her first in London and found that the antenatal teacher was such a bf-ing nut that she almost decided NOT to bf(dhe has been doing it for 4 weeks now and loving it!)
I think that although its worth a shot, I think you need to be determined to do it right from the beginning as it will be painful. If you are in two minds about it Idon't think it will work. Also, you sorta need to bf exclusivley at the beginning to establish a decent quantity(or so I've been told):D
I would stay away from La Leche league as the are a bit nutty about it too(dicourage pumpiing and nipple sheilds) but cuidu are more like a coffee club for mums...really nice.

Pinkdust

Glad you posted this thread... Im going on 24 weeks now with my first and decided right at the beginning of my pregnancy that i would give breast feeding a go and maybe switch her to bottle at about 8 weeks.... but ive been reading the books and just reached the "breast feeding part" and it has actually completely turned me off it. It all seems so complicated, with how much time to spend on each breast, and that if you dont let the baby empty the first breast then they wont get the fatty milk at the end and will still be starved etc.... I began to feel a bit paniced as to how im going to actually know when one breast is empty and to switch her over without her missing out on the important milk, and how long to leave her on each breast, and worrying that I wont know if shes feeding enough or too much...?? At least you have measurements on the bottle and i know its more hassle but im now thinking that stressing over sterilising and making up bottles wouldnt be half the measure of how freaked out id be if im breast feeding and not knowing if im feeding her enough and that.

Oh my god, what a rant... but i am genuinely in completely two minds now and a bit paniced too! Anyone spot the mad pregnant womans raging hormones!!?? oh god! :rolleyes:

Grawns

From my experience unless you are determined to breastfeed, you will fail. It's not that easy at the beginning and you are tired from the birth and there is no assistance and no experts on hand. If you mentally have decided beforehand that you will give it your best effort you are far more likely to succeed. Personally I loved it and am just coming to the end at 15th months but I was determined and luckily it worked very well for me. Never had a cracked nipple and never needed shields or nipple cream ( ever though I had bought some in prep).

It's a wonderful experience once you get the hang of it.
Fail to prepare and prepare to fail though. Read read read.

Nevyn

You know that the breast is emptying by the feel of it.
It will deflate a bit like a balloon, they go from being very full and firm with no give in them when you press on them to being more squishy when empty like your boobs were before you hit the last few weeks of pregnancy.

Pinkdust

Thanks Thaedydal

Probably lack of common sense on my part but just want to be sure i know what im doing and its always great to get advice

Annie Bananie

Here they teach us that let the baby suck for as long as it wants from the breast. If it's empty or if the baby is full it will stop sucking. Always offer the second breast. If the baby wants more food, it will keep going. If the baby is full it will reject it.

Now this I only know in theory as I haven't tried yet.. 9 weeks to go, wohoo!

bogtotty

Pinkdust wrote: »

It all seems so complicated, with how much time to spend on each breast, and that if you dont let the baby empty the first breast then they wont get the fatty milk at the end and will still be starved etc....

As far as that goes, just feed on demand. The baby will let you know when it's hungry, just feed it as often as it wants to for the first couple of weeks. If you get yourself a decent sling for the daytime and co-sleep at night, you will be able to get stuff done and will get more sleep. They settle after a few weeks once their tummies have grown enough to take in more milk and can go longer between feeds.

We might not be born knowing how to nurse a child, but babies are born knowing how to nurse from their mothers. Give it a go, get help if you're having difficulties. It's the normal way to feed a baby, it would be great if new mums could try it at least.

Jinxi

bogtotty wrote: »

As far as that goes, just feed on demand. The baby will let you know when it's hungry, just feed it as often as it wants to for the first couple of weeks. If you get yourself a decent sling for the daytime and co-sleep at night, you will be able to get stuff done and will get more sleep. They settle after a few weeks once their tummies have grown enough to take in more milk and can go longer between feeds.

We might not be born knowing how to nurse a child, but babies are born knowing how to nurse from their mothers. Give it a go, get help if you're having difficulties. It's the normal way to feed a baby, it would be great if new mums could try it at least.

+ 1
AS posted before, my sis is now bfing feeding a 6 week old baby. In the hospital they practices baby initiated bresfeeding. babies are born with the natural ability to latch on correctly in the first hour of life(youtube "breast crawl") They head bob up their mums body, and snuffle open mouthed until they latch on. Pretty amazing.

Also, I think its important to remember thst breastfeeding advise tends to change from time to time. When my mum was feeding us she was told to feed for 10 mins on each breast. Now its recommended that the baby should finish the breast to get the hind milk. Try and get the most up to date advise, but when it comes to how, just do whatever works for you!

She also says now that only now is the breastfeeding becoming "easy" as they both(her and her son) know what they are doing. She is so proud of herself for sticking it out!

Mummys Tummy

dont feel under any pressure if you can help it, feeding came easily to me but i still gave one formula bottle at night from about 6 weeks and it was the best thing we ever did as our baby boy slept much better and wasnt as hungry all the time, also it gave my hubby a chance to really bond with his baby and do the night times when he could, very important as the dads can all too often feel left out! in hospital they will push breastfeeding but try not to put pressure on your self, just relax and see if your baby takes to it, then take it from there, can take up to a week for you both to settle into it

Cat Melodeon

Just to add that the perception of breastfeeding you have right now is probably causing you to feel under pressure. If you had a positive impression of breastfeeding, the talks at the antenatal clinic would probably feel like encouragement rather than pressure. Obviously, this isn't your fault - most new mums-to-be have never even seen a baby breastfed, so it can be a bit abstract trying to imagine yourself nursing a child. It is HSE policy to promote breastfeeding though, so be prepared for the pro-breastfeeding talks right up to the day you give birth. The research continues to show breastfeeding to be how babies should be fed - the antenatal staff are just doing their job.

If you continue to feel pressured or unsure, I really strongly recommend you go and check out a Cuidiu meeting (http://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/fulcrum.html?ep=5)- often parents there will be breastfeeding and you can see what it's like firsthand. The whole thing might seem more natural to you then, or you may come to the conclusion that you absolutely don't want to do it - either way you'll know you're making an informed decision and should be happy with your choice. No point feeling pressured or guilty, whatever the outcome.

pearljamfan

i breastfed until my little boy was 2and a bit, im not a weirdo! it was just useful to get him to sleep at night, at that stage it was only at bedtime, but in the beginning i had read all the books and found out everything!
u cant really know what to do until u are actually doing it, but its really helpful to do a bit of reading up.
i also think that u do have to be stubborn, if u want to do it , just do it, give it a go, it is hard, youre tired with this new thing and of course u want to do the best u can do! so theres all these feelings to cope with.

i remember in the hospital it seemed like the nurse just grabbed my boob and shoved it in the babys mouth, it was really weird!! i actually didnt mind cos i knew she was helping me out , but still, a weird experience!

and i also remember waking up in the night and my milk had come in properly, my boobs were rock solid! the only thing i could do to relieve it was feed the baby, so i just carried on. there was one night, 2am feed- i was exhausted and crying, really painful nipples, i couldnt bear to feed him so my hubby went to find bottles and formula etc, but i was so against feeding formula and just stubbornly didnt want to 'give up' !
i ended up feeding through it and was fine then.it took me about 10 days to not feel sore, and after that it was 2nd nature, it was nice to be able to sit on the sofa with the remote in one hand and the phone in the other, feed the baby, have a snooze, etc etc!

at 6 weeks my little boy was sleeping from midnight to 6am, then i introduced a dream feed in the middle so i got a full nights sleep. i found the baby whisperer book brilliant.

so, my advice is dont worry you wont know what to do, get a couple of books, read up so u know what to expect,give yourself a chance, its not easy and its not going to happen straight away. be stubborn and know that u are doing the healthiest thing u can do for your baby.

i kept saying to myself, ill try it just for the colostrum, then for 2 weeks see how i feel, then it was 6 weeks... then 4 months... etc etc!