bs sales terminology/sayings

Jay D

Just got the urge to express and share some of them.

So I have someone i have to meet today. It's commission based for them.

On the first instance she said to me over the phone - "I've a slot tomorrow morning (last night) or maybe Friday morning i've got one there as well."

Now for one, I completely hate the kind of person I am supposed to be taken for to believe that this 'slot' is like some kind of fcuking golden opportunity. Like they have such a busy schedule otherwise, when the reality is that they have been sitting around doing very little else but twiddling their thumbs, looking for business, things to do, checking email, talking to the friend, etc.

When my situation was revealed, in which my mornings are committed to work, I am all of a sudden offered another one of these 'slot' things, tomorrow afternoon, which is coming up.

I accepted as i am interested in this thing but this bs of slots, seriously they can just f off with that malarky.


What about the false sense of showing an interest? Like if it's not bad enough having some 20 year old who thinks they've got some sort of gift of the gab ringing you, with the - ah you're going on holidays, that's great, where is it, oh lovely...


Now these young chickens can be forgiven for being inexperienced and not realising the other person might actually see through the bs they are brainwashed into practicing. However, what about mature people, older than me, who should know bette, forget when to 'stop' talking and actually listen to the level of bs they are coming out with.

I recently had a bank advisor say to me in his bolloxology pitch which bended to far, in relation to the downturn and financial crisis in banks etc., people lost money on investments etc. I expressed concern over the fact that long time plans such as a pension I was enquiring about could be quite risky, to which I was told - "yeah but sure who could see that coming?" :rolleyes: Needless to say I did not opt for anything involving that pleb.

Many more, but must also include the one where an electronics shop tried to tell me they were selling something cheaper than they got it for, the price of which was more than you could get it for, from the actual manufacturer's website directly....

Any other bullshít you'd like to share from sales people?

drunkmonkey

Are you buying or selling boss?

Smart Bug

I hate it when action is used as a verb by idiot wannabe executive types, i.e.

'I'm going to action your post now Jay D.'

Fúckin fúckers.

me_right_one

I see where you're coming from OP. We used to do bullsh1t bingo at work. We'd be at our completely pointless morning meetings, ticking off phrases in our notebooks as they came up. Things like "going forward", "in relation to", "we have to be clear" etc. It made us look like we were paying attention and taking notes! About the "slot" thing though, I can see the salesmans point of view there if his job was broken up into hourly tasks.

snow ghost

Advertising sales executives phoning up to say someone has just pulled out of an ad and they are offering me the opportunity to take it at half-the-price before the print dealine in a few hours.

In other words they are desperate to sell unsold space befre the deadline and you can get it for virtually nothing if you push them.

Jay D

nah the slot thing is used to create a sense of urgency, I'd say about 1%, if even that are so busy. I remember a girl saying to me before she had a slot free for a certain time... I laughed and said sure if only i could fill my slots that easy. She said, oh right well you know how it is, come in in the morning if you want.

As for ad sales yes, oh I was once one as well But God to they have some bs. That's very true regarding the price and another thing there's never a deadline for advertising. You can always have the next one if it's a paper so anyone reading don't be bothered by it :pac:

starbelgrade

"Singing off the same hymn sheet"

"Thinking outside the box"

F*CK OFF!

Overheal

non-prorated warranty! Get excited about carpet!!!!!

Twin-go

"One carefull lady owner"

Ruu_Old

Push the envelope!

mikom

Jay D wrote: »

So I have someone i have to meet today. It's commission based for them.

On the first instance she said to me over the phone - "I've a slot tomorrow morning (last night) or maybe Friday morning i've got one there as well."

To be fair, you'll get that a lot from prostitutes.

donkey balls

i will touch base with you later
hit the ground running etc:mad: i hate the f**king lot of them.

NothingMan

I've been buying some camera stuff lately. I've gone over to a local shop a few times to ask about things and look at them before buying. Then asked if they can match a Pixmania.ie price or throw in something to make it worth my while and was told no. Maybe they need to practice their bs a bit more. I just bought my camera online for 150e cheaper.

Sean Quagmire

I watched a movie called 'Office Space' last night. So true to life in a kind face palm sort of way. They have a massive 'Is this good for the company?' banner in their office, i burts out laughing becuase they do the same ****e here.

Another one in my place is 'Look, can we take this offline?' i.e if the conversation is veering off the intended agenda one person asked can we talk about it another time. why the bs slang for slangs sake??!!

Noopti

"Wraaaapin paaaper, five sheets for a powaaaand"

Bloody sales speak....

Seriously though, "Low hangin fruit" is horrible, as is a new one I have been hearing a lot "it's a quick win"

Smart Bug

Ruu wrote: »

Push the envelope!

Push the envelope right up into your slot.

Think of the synergy we'd create!!

Twin-go

Could it be the OP is trying to "Boil the Ocean" here?

Smart Bug

Twin-go wrote: »

Could it be the OP is trying to "Boil the Ocean" here?

Oh, oh fúck I hadn't heard that one before. Do people actually say that? Argh, I'm filled with a murderuous rage.

ScumLord

Norton anti-virus is a very good piece of software that will protect your computer from harm and is very much worth the €70 - €90.

thetonynator

Athlone: Gateway to Dublin

Smart Bug

Portlaoise: gateway to Hell.

Twin-go

Smart Bug wrote: »

Oh, oh fúck I hadn't heard that one before. Do people actually say that? Argh, I'm filled with a murderuous rage.

'tis true Smart Bug. "It is what it is" you might say.

lisbon_lions

"Bring out yer dead".

swe_fi

Lets keep it high level

Mapsis

...a rising sea level affects all boats........

Heard this on the radio today. Was in relation to why things will get sh*tter in Ireland as a result of Greece being a complete "basket case" of a country!!!

Basket case-- WW1 Term for some who has no arms and no legs.

Jeez Greece is fe*kered

Overheal

"Oh hey, we wanna do a P.K. with you guys to day to teach you about this new product..."

Im sorry what the hell is a PK???

ScumLord

Overheal wrote: »

"Oh hey, we wanna do a P.K. with you guys to day to teach you about this new product..."

Im sorry what the hell is a PK???

Maybe they just misspelt the peanut brand?

PK2008

Overheal wrote: »

"Oh hey, we wanna do a P.K. with you guys to day to teach you about this new product..."

Im sorry what the hell is a PK???

You dont want to know

me_right_one

Mapsis wrote: »

...a rising sea level affects all boats........

Heard this on the radio today. Was in relation to why things will get sh*tter in Ireland as a result of Greece being a complete "basket case" of a country!!!

Basket case-- WW1 Term for some who has no arms and no legs.

Jeez Greece is fe*kered

GRRRR:mad:

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

"cosy" When describing an 8" X 8" apartment.

"modern" because it has a toaster and kettle.

gandalf

ABC lads and lassies ABC !!!!!

(Alway be closing )

krpc

"Unlimited, subject to fair use policies" (broadband)

It's either unlimited or it's not!! You can't call something unlimited and then limit it!

gandalf

A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention - Do I have you attention? Interest - Are you interested? I know you are, because it's **** or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision - Have you made your decision for Christ? And Action.

(Sorry but someone had to put a Glengarry Glenross quote in here)

sam34

"up to 50% off"

or its first cousin:

"from 29.99"

longshanks

Smart Bug wrote: »

Push the envelope right up into your slot.

Think of the synergy we'd create!!

lets run those ideas up the flagpole and see who stands to salute

Daisy Steiner

longshanks wrote: »

lets run those ideas up the flagpole and see who stands to salute

Then; let's throw them out of a plane and see if they'll fly!!!11!wonone!

DVD-Lots

Today we had a brainstorming session to prepare for a high level meeting with middle management about bringing new technologies on-stream while keeping up to date with current trends. We touch base regularly and report on specific KPI's on an ad-hoc basis while monitoring the current infrastructure performance. We have found a number of caveats to the proposals but have managed to fast track some of the higher priority modules and streamline the roll out plans so as to minimise disruption to the core business.

Sorry, I mean we upgraded our Domain Server because or old one was 10 years old........:rolleyes:

Sinfonia

Sean Quagmire wrote: »

'Office Space'

Encapsulates the whole thing perfectly

Ruu_Old

i-bloodhound wrote: »

"Unlimited, subject to fair use policies" (broadband)

It's either unlimited or it's not!! You can't call something unlimited and then limit it!

Good old IOL Surf No Limits. Bastards disconnected me for being online too often! :mad:

El Diablo 101

1+1=3 ...used to hate that...GO TEAM!

sponsoredwalk

In all fairness, you complaining about the people waffling to you is irrelevant because the only reason you're talking in the first place is to try to get money out of each other. It is more honest of them to pull out all the stops, empoying granfalloon techniques and the like, as there only goal at the end of the day is to make money & anything that works goes.

stepbar

Ah Glengarry Glenross.... Reminds me of work.

SV

El Diablo 101 wrote: »

1+1=3 ...used to hate that...GO TEAM!

1+1 does equal 3, for higher values of 1.

Captain Slow IRL

Jay D wrote: »

................"I've a slot"...............

"Well, I'd like to fill your slot, sugartits":cool:

Jay D

haha, just came across this, such a nice way of putting it:

Discretionary 12.5% Service charge will be added to all parties

Appreciate that thanks :rolleyes:

bonzodog2

SV wrote: »

1+1 does equal 3, for higher values of 1.

Or small values of 3

eamon234

You want fries with that?