Depressed Boyfriend

LegacyUser

Not sure if this should be a personal issue or a relationship issue, a bit of both really.

My boyfriend of 9 months has recently told me that he is depressed; nothing including me is making him happy at the moment. He does love me, and I love him and doesn’t want us to split up but the contact has dwindled to little or nothing, a few phone calls a week. What makes it harder is that we are in an LDR and never see each other.

I want to be here for him and I am getting use to the lack of contact, he says there is nothing I can do to help that he has to get over this himself and just to be patient. I’m doing my best but sometimes I get so frustrated with the situation.

Not sure if anyone has been in a situation like this before or can offer any advise, just thought I would ask before I go insane!!!

bedrock#1

Hi,

Yeah i am that depressed, now ex, boyfriend. fair play to you coming and get advice about it, shows you really care he's a lucky guy.

All you can really do is try to encourage him to get some help. You'll never be able to tell him.

I promised to change and sort myself out and thought i could do it on my own, but life has a way of getting in the way and you put it to the back of your mind where it only grows and is worse the next time. It cost me the woman i love. that was the last straw for me and i've been seeing a counselor for the last 3 weeks.

Just try to do the best you can, you seem like you really care.

LegacyUser

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. Yes I do care A LOT about him and would do anything it takes to help him. Unfortunately things have gotten a bit worse over the last few days. He now says that he doesn’t know how he feels about us; actually he doesn’t know how he feels about anything. I am hoping this is just down to the depression and that underneath he still loves me, he just doesn’t see it.

We spoke last night about splitting up and the only glimmer of light that I seen was that he said he wasn’t ready to give up on us yet.

I am trying to gently persuade him to go to a counsellor, but I’m afraid that my gentle persuasion could be seen as nagging to him. It’s hard to know what to do? If I could be around him I think I could help but being so far apart I feel totally helpless.

Bedrock; I hope things are getting easier for you, I suffered depression years ago and I do know the struggle you (and he) are going through, glad to see that you’ve made a start on sorting yourself out.

Robbyn

unfortunately if you have told him that you love him, and are there for him and he knows that then it's down to him now, it's about how he feels at this stage, to me it looks as if you do everything right.

just make sure he realizes you honestly do care so much about him, is the only advice I can give you, because people who genuinely care are hard to come across, and you are definitely one of them

Best of luck

greenprincess

My heart goes out to you. But if he does end up breaking up with you I hope you wont take it too hard. Because if he does break up with you I doubt it will be anything to do with you, but purely that he needs to sort himself out. All you can do for now is to try be supportive.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses.

I'm feeling quite positive today, I decided yesterday to give him a couple of weeks head space, no contact for two weeks, BUT I did tell him that I was still here and that if he needed to talk he could still call text or email, but that it was up to him. I know it's going to be a really long two weeks but I think it will be good for him, I'll be one less thing for him to stress about.

As I said feeling really positive, I believe we are strong enough to get through this. Also I have been in contact with aware to see if they can give any advise on how to support him long distance, just waiting on a reply.