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neighbour advice

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  • 04-05-2010 8:42pm
    #1
    mudbath142
    Registered Users Posts: 16 ✭


    Hi all,

    Advice needed here. I'm married with 3 kids and moved out to the country several months ago (about 7 miles from the city). Neighbours seemed fine initially but I've just noticed recently that they are ignoring me. Now, it was me and my wife who broke the ice initially and introduced ourselves and they seemed very nice and welcoming but several months later, I first noticed it with one neighbour then it seemed to spread like contagion to the others as if something bad was being said.

    Strange thing is, my wife is still saluted, which just leaves me. I'm not the most confident of people and do suffer from social anxiety, which might make others uncomfortable (e.g. coming across as slightly nervous in conversation).

    Thing is I was really hoping that moving to the country would be great and refreshing but now I'm not so sure.

    Any advice welcome

    ps. I'm not really the confrontational kind of person and dont want to make the issue worse than what it is.


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ah, I hate that phrase "the country", like it's another country you are moving to.
    You moved from "the city" but there are six cities in Ireland

    OP, you need to make an effort. In short you are a blow in. Now blow in can be used as an offensive term but that is what you are.

    If you are in a rural area, salute everyone if you are driving or walking or cycling. It's the done thing, just is.
    After mass, talk to the locals, go to the local shop to buy the Sunday paper and talk some more.
    Buy the local paper, find activities that interest you and get involved. Golf society or fishing maybe.

    You say people are being unfriendly but are you sitting back expecting people to invite you to outings?

    You're from a city, you pass thousands of people a day and never acknowledge them. Are you doing the same to your new neighbours?

    Your new neighbours don't dislike you, you haven't done anything wrong from your post.
    But make an effort and if that fails reply back again


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    #3
    miss5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,319 ✭✭✭miss5


    Definetly make an effort with them, Some neighbours can be a living
    nightmare and you don't need their aproval to start enjoying life in
    the country!


  • Options
    #4
    mudbath142
    Registered Users Posts: 16 ✭mudbath142


    thanks for the replies.

    The thing is, I have been making an effort and now it seems its been thrown back in my face. I mentioned it to my wife and she suggested that maybe I was too conscious of it and trying too hard.

    We are involved in local events (mainly through the kids) and have met people from other parts of the area (I dont really expect to be invited to anything - just want to live normally) but its just the immediate neighbours and I'm worried that whatever is been said will spread further or I will react negativiely and make things worse.

    I had been on quite friendly terms with one of the neighbours but for the last few weeks I get the impression she is avoiding me as I haven't seen her outside her door, which is very unusual. And another neighbour was chatting with some people outside our wall and I just said hello as I walked past in my garden but not only did he not say anything, he didn't even turn around to even acknowledge me!

    that really annoyed me


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