Rules???

LegacyUser

Just out of a long term realationship so trying to catch up on the dating rules.. Ok.. so I met a guy on Thursday night, got on great, asked to see me again, was supposed to meet on Monday night, he asked if we could postpone till Friday (I know he ain't that flush) so I texted him back to say Friday was good. That was Sunday, haven't heard a dicky bird.

I'm just wondering is this part of some three or five day rule stuff I'm hearing about?

In general, what are the rules when it comes to arranging dates.

Thanks.

shellyboo

It's only Tuesday... just cos he hasn't texted you doesn't mean he's playing a game. Why don't you send him a text asking how his bank holiday went?

ilovetosing

Agree with Shelly! I don't think he'd have said friday unless he was legit so to speak so no harm in you just sending him a little text and sure keep it brisk but something he has to reply to and you will know! then wait till friday and if he doesn't finalise plans before 6 o clock then don't worry just forget him and move on.

Good luck

Denimgirl

Don;t send him a text don't send him anythinghe;ll be thinking she's mad about me!! wait! if he does'nt text have a back up plan ready for friday night far too many players out there not saying he's one but you don;t know him yet let him prove to yiu he likes you! your the catch not him!!

m@cc@

Out of the loop wrote: »

I'm just wondering is this part of some three or five day rule stuff I'm hearing about?

That stuff is just BS for kids. Do what feels right for you. Just keep it casual "I enjoyed myself etc" and "How is it going?" Anyone who thinks that is too forward isn't mature enough to be dating.

S23

I absolutely despair when I see posts like this about 'rules' and when you can text and who should be the one to text and whats the next acceptable move for contact.

It's all a big load of nonsense. If you want to contact him then go ahead and send him a text or ring him. You're both adults so there is no reason not to act like it

John Mason

op, pick up our phone and ring him. just say, so are we still on for friday night ?

rules are for children, as are text messages.

stand up and be a grown up

LegacyUser

Hi OP here.

I'm not a believer in rules but in the past I've found when I've met a nice guy who leans towards the rules that it goes out the window. I'd be straight up but they like the chase and I'm 'whatever'.

Anyway I texted this guy, there was a nice bit of banter and he jokingly he said maybe double dating, however reading his previous texts he does seems to like a bit of a chase. Earlier in the week he suggested going out on Friday, anyway the last text from him was around this time last night and I don't intend to text him again as I initated texts last time, so we'll see what happens.

It's funny cos of the game I'm kinda going off him.

Another question.. how do you know if you are exclusive or if it's still ok to date other people??

Is anything straight forward anymore?

S23

Sorry I think 'the game' is something you are trying to buy into too much. Maybe you like that kind of carry on.

My advice stays the same. Don't project what you think he may or may not like regarding 'the chase'. If you want to call him, call him.

If you really want to continue buying into this 'rules of engagement' bulls**t, then I advise you to get used to getting fcuked around or grow up a bit. Gameplaying is something best left to kids in playgrounds

legend365

Sorry, but 'The Game' is life. You think its as easy as call girl, arrange date, go on date? Its not.

You text somebody too much - your needy
You text somebody to little - your not interested
You ring them - your too straightforward

..and on and on. Its annoying.

Just be yourself. Text him when you want. He don't like, NEXT!

miss5

I think you should send him a casual text, I think your worrying to
much about it those rules are just for kids.

S23

legend365 wrote: »

Sorry, but 'The Game' is life. You think its as easy as call girl, arrange date, go on date? Its not.

You text somebody too much - your needy
You text somebody to little - your not interested
You ring them - your too straightforward

..and on and on. Its annoying.

Just be yourself. Text him when you want. He don't like, NEXT!

Yep it really is. If the other person doesn't want to go out on a date then fine. Move on.

If the other person lives by your little list of rules then they weren't going to be my type of person anyway so I move on.

All this 'game playing' is just trying to fit square pegs into round holes. If you are the type who just wants to ring and be straightforward then thats what you should do. You shouldn't try and modify your behaviour to fall in line with these, real or imagined, stupid 'rules of contact'.

If Person A is not compatible with Person B then fine the sooner you find out the better and its time to move on.

Denimgirl

S23 wrote: »

Yep it really is. If the other person doesn't want to go out on a date then fine. Move on.

If the other person lives by your little list of rules then they weren't going to be my type of person anyway so I move on.

All this 'game playing' is just trying to fit square pegs into round holes. If you are the type who just wants to ring and be straightforward then thats what you should do. You shouldn't try and modify your behaviour to fall in line with these, real or imagined, stupid 'rules of contact'.

If Person A is not compatible with Person B then fine the sooner you find out the better and its time to move on.

it's not game playing ,i suggest she waits to hear from him first he was the one who asked her out on friday a guy should'nt have to be reminded about a date he initated.waiting for him to text you, shows a lot about his charactor it's not a game playing it's basically sitting back and seeing if this guy is full of sh*t and a game player if he is jog on! don't waste your time with him!go out with the girls,nice guys don't play games with you they let you know they like you.

S23

Did you pay attention to the post? She had spoken to him on Sunday to re-arrange a date for Friday. She posted her query here on Tuesday.

She'd heard from the lad 2 days earlier to make their arrangements. Clearly he was interested. If she wanted to speak to him in the interim during the week all she had to do was pick up the phone.

He'd made his arrangements with her. Its not up to him to ring her everyday. He'd only been on one date with her. Theres far more being read into this than there should be and its probably because people are too hung up on 'the rules'

Denimgirl

S23 wrote: »

Did you pay attention to the post? She had spoken to him on Sunday to re-arrange a date for Friday. She posted her query here on Tuesday.

She'd heard from the lad 2 days earlier to make their arrangements. Clearly he was interested. If she wanted to speak to him in the interim during the week all she had to do was pick up the phone.

He'd made his arrangements with her. Its not up to him to ring her everyday. He'd only been on one date with her. Theres far more being read into this than there should be and its probably because people are too hung up on 'the rules'

Yes I have paid attention to the post thank you very much!!! and I still don't think she should have contacted him first before the date!

lillywhite1

I know what you mean about the whole rules thing. And no matter how stupid they are if people are playing by them then it can be a help to know what they are.

On the other hand, if you arrange to meet and then rearrange I would not worry about it.

The point about exclusivity is more of a big deal. Unless someone makes it clear at the beginning that they are seeing more than one person I would assume that they are not.

And, would you really be interested in someone who did want to see other people. It sounds like BS to me and an excuse to play the game while keeping your conscience clear.