Should this be a problem?

LegacyUser

Ok guys going unreg for this one.

My bf got a bit annoyed tonight over our sex life and seems to think we have a problem or should I say I have a problem.

I would say on average we have sex maybe 4-5 times a week, last wk I know we defo did from Mon - Thurs (previous wk we couldn't ya know yourself the time of the visitor), anyway out Friday and Sat night and both pretty drunk both nights so we literally fell into our bed! Last night I was wrecked went up to bed and we just had a kiss and cuddle, I was pretty tired and he left it but did have a moan which I though was bloody ridiculous, we had played about over the course of Sat afternoon. Anyway fell asleep and then 2n we were in bed having a chat and a laugh, I had found these sexual positions cards the other day and we said we should pick a card so I picked one tonight, we were just messing about in bed, having a laugh and a chat and actually discussing dinner for tomorrow night and then he just turned off the light and rolled over and said he was going too sleep.. I was like WTF, he was like we were supposed to be doing that position and I was like yeah but were having a laugh like hello we need to do other stuff before we can jump into position, then he takes out his phone and starts to play a game, I turned over then and just thought here we go again and then he got up said 'I'm sick of this, I've had it' and stormed out of the bedroom.
He arrived back up asked what my problem was, I wasn't going to discuss it there and then because I was so annoyed and trying to get my head around it and he basically told me I seem to have a problem with wanting him and I'm letting our relationship go to waste more or less.

Really upset over this now cos I don't know whether it is me, although I don't think it is, I think he has just flown off the handle but I'm just looking for advice really.
Were together years, I would say we have a very good sex life yeah sometimes I'm tired and I'd say no but he does that too.

Any thoughts welcome.. thanks.

miss5

I think your boyfriend is incredibly selfish, You should never have to
do anything when your not in the mood. Tell him to grow up.

Des Carter

There will be people on here saying your boyfriend is an immature tool or whatever and he was but if you ask me it sounds like hes just stressed out, and probably over something that is unrelated to you or sex (work problems or something). Guys suck at expressing their emotions or whatever so id say he was annoyed or pissed off with something and just wanted to release this through either sex or an argument.

I mean 90% of arguments between couples are about more than what they are actually about so when ye both cool off id advise you go talk to him in an open honest way and try to get him to open up or find out whats really bothering him.

Of course if this type of thing is a frequent occurance then hes a tool and get rid of him.

LegacyUser

unregistered wrote: »

Ok guys going unreg for this one.

My bf got a bit annoyed tonight over our sex life and seems to think we have a problem or should I say I have a problem.

I would say on average we have sex maybe 4-5 times a week, last wk I know we defo did from Mon - Thurs (previous wk we couldn't ya know yourself the time of the visitor), anyway out Friday and Sat night and both pretty drunk both nights so we literally fell into our bed! Last night I was wrecked went up to bed and we just had a kiss and cuddle, I was pretty tired and he left it but did have a moan which I though was bloody ridiculous, we had played about over the course of Sat afternoon. Anyway fell asleep and then 2n we were in bed having a chat and a laugh, I had found these sexual positions cards the other day and we said we should pick a card so I picked one tonight, we were just messing about in bed, having a laugh and a chat and actually discussing dinner for tomorrow night and then he just turned off the light and rolled over and said he was going too sleep.. I was like WTF, he was like we were supposed to be doing that position and I was like yeah but were having a laugh like hello we need to do other stuff before we can jump into position, then he takes out his phone and starts to play a game, I turned over then and just thought here we go again and then he got up said 'I'm sick of this, I've had it' and stormed out of the bedroom.
He arrived back up asked what my problem was, I wasn't going to discuss it there and then because I was so annoyed and trying to get my head around it and he basically told me I seem to have a problem with wanting him and I'm letting our relationship go to waste more or less.

Really upset over this now cos I don't know whether it is me, although I don't think it is, I think he has just flown off the handle but I'm just looking for advice really.
Were together years, I would say we have a very good sex life yeah sometimes I'm tired and I'd say no but he does that too.

Any thoughts welcome.. thanks.

It's hard to understand your post. But it could be, he thinks you don't find him attractive and don't yearn to have sex with him.
ie
If you are going to have sex, you should be excited and can't wait for it, not discussing the dinner for tomorrow.
And men want sex all the time, when you don't, they thing it is because you don't fancy them. Not because you are tired stressed etc. If a man hadn't slept in days he would still be up for sex.

Faith

My ex used often not be in the mood for sex. We only saw each other at weekends, and I'd get really hurt when he'd just roll over and go to sleep. I took it as a personal rejection, and the more it happened, the worse I got.

Your post is pretty disjointed and hard to follow, but do you often say no to sex? Of course, you're well within your rights to, but if you're rejecting him more often than not, then it's something you need to think about. If your sex drives are incompatible, it makes a relationship very difficult.

shellyboo

Seems like he overreacted, tbh. The way I'm reading it is, due to drunkenness there was no action Fri/Sat, then you were too tired on Sunday and turned him down. On Monday evening, you were playing with the sexual position cards and you picked one, but when you started talking about dinner he got impatient and decided to go to sleep instead? Then stormed out when you didn't argue?

To me, that's an overreaction on his part. But is there more to the story than that? Are you often turning him down? Doesn't really sound like it, 4/5 times a week is a fairly healthy amount of sex. You need to talk to him and find out why he reacted that way, what's bothering him.

ilovetosing

Just my opinion as a guy this is something I have done before in the past but not to the extent he has gone but OP it usually means there is an underlying issue and he is using the sex thing to vent his anger thinking that whatever other problem he has will magically go away! It wont! talk to him!

The other two reasons are either he feels you don't want it as much as him or that you don't desire him as much he does you or else he just wants OUT!