Who to choose?

ConfusedByLove

Guy 1: I've known him for over 5 years and had a bit of a thing for him on and off. We've come to be close friends since then. In the past few months we've scored while drunk, but never talked about it afterwards. He's not very reliable, in that he's not punctual, and would just stop texting back in the middle of making plans. With everyone that is. In a way, I probably wish he was more the boyfriend type. Everyone seems to think we're going to end up together, but it's only ever for the night..

Guy 2: Someone I met pretty recently, friends (but not very good friends) with Guy 1. He likes me, and I guess I like him. Only he's saying that he can't do anything because I'm on-and-off with Guy 1.

I'm reluctant to go out with Guy 2 because I'm scared it'll feck things up with Guy 1. Also, I know that if both were vying for my love, I'd choose Guy 1 like a shot. He's more like me in a lot of ways.. Maybe going out with Guy 2 would be a good way to just finish things for good with Guy 1. I don't know..

Any suggestions?

LucyGossip

well in my oppinion I would find out whether guy 1 is interested in you in a boyfriend-girlfriend type of way or is it really random hook ups? Even if you would rather that he is more the boyfriend material type, nothing beats having chemistry with someone! I get the impression you dont really like this other guy that much. Don't settle for someone just for the sake of it. If you want to try something different go for guy 2, keep it casula, nothing serious. I doubt if you were seeing someone else that it would ruin your chance with guy 1, it might even make him realise what he's missing out on (just make sure guy 2 doesn't get hurt).

Firetrap

Neither.

Frankly, Guy 2 sounds like a bloke you're using. You don't appear to fancy him and you're only thinking of going out with him to wean yourself off Guy 1. Be fair to the man - don't mess him around. He's clearly a second choice. Why go out with someone who sounds like someone you're settling for?

Guy 1 sounds like a recipe for disaster. Be honest - if he liked you enough to be his girlfriend, he wouldn't be unreliable like that. You have some sort of chemistry alright but is it enough? I also think that unless you have a proper relationship with him (can you see such a thing happening? honestly?) that he will be a shadow that looms over every other relationship you may have.

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP.

They both sound like Mr Wrong in their own way.

Guy 1 seems to view you as some kind of dispensable friend with benefits that he doesn't need to put much effort into because you like him and really want it to be more...

...and guy 2 seems to only be on the scene because guy 1 doesn't want a relationship so I think he's really a non-runner.

You need to work out if the on-offs with guy 1 are ever likely to develop into something approaching a relationship and if not, whether you are happy just going along with the on-off or if you are better off drawing a line under guy 1 and moving on to find someone who can offer the whole deal.

Best of luck!

Liam Byrne

LucyGossip wrote: »

Don't settle for someone just for the sake of it.

....which is precisely what guy 2 would essentially be doing.

LucyGossip wrote: »

I doubt if you were seeing someone else that it would ruin your chance with guy 1, it might even make him realise what he's missing out on (just make sure guy 2 doesn't get hurt).

Those jealousy games seldom work. I know that if someone I was half-interested in started seeing someone, I'd back off. Not only for fairness, but also because it'd make me seem like a shallow prick who only wanted what he couldn't have.

ConfusedByLove

Thanks guys..

I'm going out with guy 2 tomorrow just on a casual thing with a few other friends so I'll see how that goes. And to be honest, I think I've decided that whatever was going on between me and guy 1 is over now. Friends with no benefits from here on out..