any idea's?

tyview

Hi All,

I've been doing my own search for the last 6 months using the trace guides on here and going into the GRO. It was all so good at first. I found my birth entry and there was only one that matched thankfully. I then found BMs birth entry and got a copy of that too. It took a couple of visits cos I only ever managed a couple of hours at a time in there because of family commitments but that was fine. When I found her BC I came home and googled her, and her parents name. She has the same name a woman's GAA player who is all over the web so that didn't get me anywhere but I did find an entry for her mother who had passed away a few years ago. I joined the site it was on so I could view the full thing and found her brother and sisters names. This info all matched with my non identifying info. I've been back to the GRO and I found some of there BC's so far but I can;t find any of their marriage entrys! Its driving me nuts!

I did look up the phone book and find her father still lived in the family home so I rang him and made up a cock and bull story and found out she lives in Dublin but he was old and couldn't give me any way of contacting her. I know that was a long shot. He did tell me to ring her sister and told me what village she lived in but didn't tell me which sister (out of 7) it was and I don;t have any of their married names. I don;t know what I would say to them anyway.

Sorry to go on, but has anyone any other ideas about where I should go from here? I'm so disheartened but really feel I need to do this, sooner rather than later.

Sorry I meant to ask...

I have on my birth cert that the informant was someone other than my mother. I'm not sure if I should put the name or not. It had this womans name and a rubber stamp of some sort but I couldn't make it out. I was wondering if anyone would know who this could be? I was told I was born in the coombe but this kind of had me thinking that I might have been born in one of the mother and baby homes or something. Would it be usual for the mother NOT to be the informant? OMG I do go on! sorry again

gfmason

Hi, You mention your bm's mother passed away a few years ago. Sometimes headstones give information away. I know it sounds a bit morbid but I was doing search (which turned out to be the wrong person!) but I found a whole load of information from headstones. Try and find the obituary if you can. Another place to check would be the electoral register. It is a bit of a pain but if you know roughly the area you could go down to the local authority, garda station or library and go through the register. It's a long shot but is somewhere else to turn to. If your bm is still in Ireland then it really is spending days in the GRO searching marriage records.

Don't give up though. A break will always come. I have 10 possibles as my bm's age was false. I am now on No. 6. You mention you were in touch with your grandfather? Perhaps talking with neighbours, discretely of course. They can be a huge source of info. You could say you are trying to arrange a surprise party or a family reunion and sometimes they will give you loads of info. Every village has a gossip it's just trying to find them.

Best of luck - Grainne

tyview

Hi Grainne, thanks for replying. I think you're right about maybe visiting the area. I'll have to bring the family on a little weekend away . I'm sooo impatient though. Wish it was closer so I could just pop down and do it in a morning when the kids are at school.

I've often though that my BM had lied about something like age (or even name) too. I have lots of non identifying info from my file. At the moment this illusive person I'm looking for matches everything perfectly but sometimes feels too good to be true. Half thought that maybe the person on the BC wasn't actually the true identity of BM, maybe a cousin, good friend or even a neighbour!

The best of luck with your search, hopefully you'll find her soon.

gfmason

Hi Tyview, not to throw a dampner on things but it has been known for the wrong name to be put on a bc. You say you have loads of non-identifying info. If you want to PM me with it and what you know with regards a name I would be happy to look over it and see if there was anything I might think of that you hadn't. I find the more I talk to people the more ideas I get. I kind of think of myself being a fisherman but instead of a line I throw out a huge net. Something has to stick. If you know your bm's name have you asked for a copy of your original baptismal cert? Sometimes this might have an extra name on it? It's worth a try. Do you think she is still living in Ireland ? Have you checked out www.lostschoolfriends.ie . I found one lead there for myself. Managed to trace her to the UK. Don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Grainne

tyview

Hi again Grainne, thanks so much, I'll PM you the info I have in the next day or two if thats ok. Ive tried lostschoolfriends alright and friendsreunited but no luck. I was baptised after I was placed too so thats not got any info either. I tried ringing the HSE today for an update on where I am on their list but the social worked wasn't there and won;t be back until monday. I'm meant to be pretty much top of the list after about 8 years!

The_Conductor

tyview- I know its a bit of work- but marriage certs are filed twice- under both the maiden and the married names. If you know your Mum is one of 7- and are certain about the certs you have already- why not go back- get the full set of 7 certs- and then use the details (names, dates of birth etc) to find the marriage certs for your aunts etc (which in turn will give you their married names).

From there- you know the village in which she is living- pay the local Garda barracks a visit- the current voters register is a public document that anyone can ask to check- it would be a doddle to get her current address.

Where you'd choose to go from there- would be up to you.

You have not hit a brick wall by any means- you simply need to look at the resources open to you- and perhaps apply a little lateral thinking.......

Shane

tyview

Shane thanks for your reply, and sorry for not saying it earlier. Had to take a break from my search for a while and get my head together.

I know BM is living in dublin now but don't know where abouts. I have her BC but cannot find her MC at all in research room and I've been in there so many times now its not even funny. Ths is where I have the problem, I can't find ANY of BMs siblings MCs or half of their BCs either. I know their names but these were obviously not their birth cert names so I have a long list with possibilities. I just need to win the lotto now so I can get all the copies!

On another note, I did ring the HSE tracing social workers to see what was happening with the tracing request. They have 3 pt social workers and 1 ft for this but whereas I was given hope before christmas and told my turn would probably come about easter time, now they tell me is could be another few years. I have a lot of info from handwritten notes my mom took down at the time of the adoption but I haven't got any thing from my file from the agency or hse. I asked social worker for the non ident info before trace starts and she told me its not possible. Has anyone else been told this or are adoptees just normally given this?

Sorry its soooo long!