why ask this?

LegacyUser

i am always single and it seems whenever i meet guys they always ask me why i dont have a boyfriend. I'm 27. I'm just starting to get very paranoid about this, is it not obvious, i haven't met someone who wants to go out with me and vice versa, why ask? Are they waiting for me to point out my major flaw or something..
I know its stupid but i always get asked, how am i supposed to respond to this, i actually nearly always make a joke of it as i don't know what to say and tbh am embarrassed

LegacyUser

why! wrote: »

i am always single and it seems whenever i meet guys they always ask me why i dont have a boyfriend. I'm 27. I'm just starting to get very paranoid about this, is it not obvious, i haven't met someone who wants to go out with me and vice versa, why ask? Are they waiting for me to point out my major flaw or something..
I know its stupid but i always get asked, how am i supposed to respond to this, i actually nearly always make a joke of it as i don't know what to say and tbh am embarrassed

oh I used to get this all the time when I was in my late twenties! It used to annoy me because it showed a huge lack of self-awareness on the man's part!
If my sister was asked 'Why are you single?', she used to reply 'The same reason you're single'.

If they asked me why I was single, I used to tell them that I'd spent the last ten years in prison because I murdered the last guy who asked me that question. Sometimes got a laugh, sometimes didn't. I dated the men who had a sense of humour : )

Good luck

Ickle Magoo

Stop being so down on yourself and looking at the negatives, I think it's quite a common thing to say to someone you quite fancy!

Take it in the spirit it's meant - as a compliment! I don't think anyone is trying to infer you are odd for not having a boyfriend, rather that they are surprised and glad that someone hasn't snapped you up!

Barracudaincork

These guys wont know that others have asked you the same question, so dont get paranoid, it is more than likely because they are surprised you are single they ask that question. You must be a catch for them to ask this IMO.

A few suggestions of replies for the next time:

I have enough assessories with my shoes and bags and then laugh in a flirty manner if you like the guy.

Im quite independant and dont feel the need to "have to date someone" so thats why im single at the moment.

Same reason you are single and then wink at them.

Chinafoot

Its a compliment. People, both male and female, use it all the time.
I mean think about it. Someone says "Ah I cant believe you're single, thats not right." They're saying "but you're a stunner so surely you'd have a boyfriend."

Take it as its meant and stop over-analysing it.

whatsamsn

how come you dont have a boyfriend?
is a charming line for most guys

in english it means "you're pretty hot" - nice in-direct way of not saying it :P

LegacyUser

Thanks guys!! I guess i'm just feeling paranoid that i haven't met someone by now.... plus i get stick from some family members over it as if i'm doing something wrong by being single..

i'll just use some of yer lines if i get asked in future and i'll take it as a compliment and not as someone looking for a warning lol

showgirl

hi Op,

its definitely a compliment - guys use this as a subtle way of letting you know that they are interested in you rather than just coming straight out with it!!

A guy used this on me recently enough and then after I had kissed him I found out he had a girlfriend - Ba$tard!! ah well I suppose he knew it would get my attention

the above posts with smart answers back are good and you should definitely use the line - "for the same reasons that you are single, i suppose"!! I know I will defo be using that line from now on

There is a shoe for every foot out there and lets hope we find ours soon

degrassinoel

whatsamsn wrote: »

how come you dont have a boyfriend?
is a charming line for most guys

in english it means "you're pretty hot" - nice in-direct way of not saying it :P

i instinctively say that to women i fancy, sad but true

Table Top Joe

why! wrote: »

i am always single and it seems whenever i meet guys they always ask me why i dont have a boyfriend. I'm 27. I'm just starting to get very paranoid about this, is it not obvious, i haven't met someone who wants to go out with me and vice versa, why ask?

I know the feeling! its very patronising i think,i always think exactly what you said to myself but i wouldnt say it aloud,its like a disease to some people if you tell them your single,you can see them think "ah the poor bastard":(

InTheTrees

showgirl wrote: »

its definitely a compliment - guys use this as a subtle way of letting you know that they are interested in you rather than just coming straight out with it!!

Exactly. Its mean as a direct undisguised compliment.

Its not easy to "just come right out and say" stuff, there's a lot of pressure on men to play a role too.

greenprincess

its def a compliment! and dont worry about being singles at 27, its not exactly over the hill!! In fact your no where near the hill!!!

Barracudaincork

greenprincess wrote: »

dont worry about being singles at 27, its not exactly over the hill!! In fact your no where near the hill!!!

+1

Yeah at 27 you havent even got directions as to where the hill is yet!!!:D