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RolandIRL

Martha from Home & Away

oh god, the first time i read this, i f*cking laughed my arse off.
then i read it with my brother. we had to stop halfway through cos we were laughing so much

A self confessed tomboy Martha seemed to be outspoken and fun when she arrived in the Bay, hooking up with older man Jesse and forming a strong friendship with Tasha. The first man in Martha’s very complicated love life was Jack Holden, but she nearly deafened/killed him when she threw a spider in his room so he broke up with her.
Then she went out with Corey Henderson, her ex’s police partner. Who it turned out was poisoning Irene and Jack almost died, again, trying to save the stupid slapper (Martha, not Irene).
Her and Jack then got married but their wedding reception exploded and with a beginning like that the marriage had to last… Right? WRONG. They broke up. At about this time Martha’s bestest best friend in the whole wide world, Tasha was raped and impregnated by a man in a cult.
So after separating from Jack Martha slept with a random guy name Ash, who wouldn’t you know was Jacks old friend. Any decent non-slutty person might think twice about going out with their ex husband’s friend 5 seconds after they broke up, but not our Martha. Even when she found out he was MARRIED WITH KIDS she stayed with him! Eventually she broke upwith him and then terminated his baby and went a bit alcoholic.
Now this is where the sluttiness gets outta control. She starts POLE DANCING IN HER DRUG DEALING BOYFRIEND’S STRIP JOINT. So the drug dealing new boyfriend then locks her in the strip joint and lights it fire. Rather than doing us a favour and leaving her in there Jack saves her. AGAIN.
So she threw herself at Jack but he was with Sam so she then kissed Henk the HIV positive rapist. But he had better taste and chose orange skinned big head Cassie.
Next she was with Jonah. Remember her bestest best friend in the whole world Tasha who was raped? Yeah, he raped her and Martha knew this the before her and Jonah/Michael were together. Martha’s such a tramp she could overlook this little fact. She then broke up with him and tried to ruin Jack’s wedding to Sam but got the timing wrong and arrived 4 hours too late.
So then Roman came to town and after ONE DATE she moved in with him. But he then broke up with her and she got back with Jack because that silly bitch Sam died/killed herself. Hoooray!!
Soon after Martha discovered she was pregnant but she didn't know if Jack or Roman was the father. And then she got cancer. And then she found out it was Roman’s baby. And then her and Jack got married even though Jack’s wife had died 5 seconds ago, but whatever, she was even more annoying than Martha so we don’t care. And then the baby died. Then she beat cancer (YAAAAY) and Jack was murdered (BOOOO).
Then about ten seconds after THE LOVE OF HER LIFE, Jack, dies she falls in love with his cousin Hugo and buys a farm. But it turned out Hugo was a people smuggler. Apparently Martha can forgive rape, but not people smuggling… Not that it mattered Hugo got shot in front of her and died (OR DID HE???)
Then 3 seconds after THE LOVE OF HER LIFE II, Hugo, dies she asks reformed drug addict and super cool rocker/music teacher Liam Murphy to move in and ‘help her on the farm’. And by ‘help her in the farm’ she meant put your willy in my vajay please. But then once again she’s pregnant, who’s the father reformed drug addict and super cool rocker/music teacher Liam Murphy or dead (not really) people smuggler Hugo??… Who cares, there’s her period. LETS HAVE SEX.

Martha does seem like a interesting slut woman.
nice pic to go with it as well

The Creators of that Page wrote:

Please note
The people who made this page LOVE LOVE LOVE Home and Away and everything about it.
We just hate Martha.

when they put it like that, you do realise how much of a slut Martha is...:D

jd007

You're easily amused.

RolandIRL

you obviously don't watch Home & A ****....Away, sorry.

SugarHigh

Not funny, this is better.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/All-black-people-start-their-orders-with-Lemme-get-uh/116264415051472