End to a complicated relationship

L.Jenkins

Where to start? Me and my ex finished a relationship because she had a child and her relationship with her ex was just as complicated. She told me everything and even how he still lived with her.

From the start, May last year, she told me she ended a relationship with her ex. I thought great, lets get going with this one. A few months down the road, he's still living with her. Then she tells me during the summer her ex is using her son to force them on a holiday to repair things. She says she's not going though, but come August, she tells me she's going on holiday. She had always kept me at arms length and never invited me over to her house.

So this year she tells me we need to split up, because she had a fight with her ex and she needs space for herself and son. Only one or two weeks ago this happened. But tonight I caught her red handed with another lad in a spot her in Athlone that we used to go for privacy and fun.

Should I try and be friends with her or tell her to fúck off. I feel so stupid and betrayed. Any help or advice.

Kiera

I think its clear she wanted to break up but used the term "break" as the cowards way out. You're better off without her tbh. She sounds like a melter.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Was the guy you spotted her with in the pub/club/or whatever it was her ex? or some other fella? Cos if it was some other fella then it's pretty clear she's moved on and It was unfair to use her current home situation as an excuse to end it by saying she needed space for herself, could she not have told you the truth?

I used to be in a situation where I lived with an ex (the father of my child) and it was a hard situation, wanted what was best my child which we felt at the time was to stay living together, I did start seeing a guy but for obvious reasons I couldn't bring him to my home, I would have drawn the line at going on a holiday together but we did go to a few weddings/family occasions together, the relationship with the new guy didn't work out and of course the ex still living with me was a major factor in that, I finished with the new guy and we remained friends, I don't know how good friends we would have been if I told him I needed space after an argument with my ex and next thing I ran into him while I was out with another man

miss5

Honestly it sounds like she is trouble, You would be better off without her.

L.Jenkins

Thanks ladies. I got out for an hour or two to chat with a friend and steam off before I started breaking stuff. You're right, I don't even think I'll keep the woman as a friend.

magneticimpulse

Why keep this woman as a friend? Only 2 weeks after you two, she is already with somebody else? She doesnt seem very mature or to have good feelings or respect for you. To leave you hanging on that you are on a "break" so she can string along other guys. You deserve better, plently nice girls out there with no kids, no baggage and who dont have live in ex boyfriends. Stop wasting time over her and find those nice girls.

L.Jenkins

Thanks again. I caught her last night at it. We haven't spoken yet and she knows I caught her red handed, she seen me and the look of anger on my face and has since deleted me as a friend on facebook. Should I confront and make her answerable first before I kick her to the curb completely.

newtoboards

No don't, let it be. What good would it do to confront her.

LegacyUser

djhunter30 wrote: »

Should I confront and make her answerable first before I kick her to the curb completely.

there are always going to be people who are messed up and who mess others around also. If you get involved with her in any way at all (whether as a friend or just to get her to realise what she's done), you'll find it difficult to extricate yourself from the relationship.

Leave her to her own devices and carry on with your own life. For your own sanity, keep your distance

L.Jenkins

newtoboards wrote: »

No don't, let it be. What good would it do to confront her.

Because I feel I deserve some a small explaination as to why she just couldnt tell the truth. I realise now that telling the truth as much as it hurts can be alot easier than keeping up a lie.

L.Jenkins

Thanks again for the advice, I just never thought it possible to meet such a dirty lying cheating bítch!

Ickle Magoo

djhunter30 wrote: »

Because I feel I deserve some a small explaination as to why she just couldnt tell the truth. I realise now that telling the truth as much as it hurts can be alot easier than keeping up a lie.

It's futile asking a liar why they couldn't tell the truth - why would she tell you the honest answer to that question? And what possible explanation would justify her behaviour, anyway?

You are better off acknowledging what she is and what she did and moving on - don't give her the satisfaction of trying to keep in touch to ask for explanations or apologies - you deserve better than her, you know that, she knows that.

Best of luck.

Barracudaincork

djhunter30 wrote: »

Because I feel I deserve some a small explaination as to why she just couldnt tell the truth. I realise now that telling the truth as much as it hurts can be alot easier than keeping up a lie.

You may deserve an explanation, but she doesnt seem to care enough to give you one and tbh you really shouldnt give a sh*t what someone who lies etc and acts the way she has, has got to say, its worth nothing.

Forget about her and move swiftly along!!

LegacyUser

djhunter30 wrote: »

Thanks again for the advice, I just never thought it possible to meet such a dirty lying cheating bítch!

Don't go near another woman until you have more decorum than you've displayed in this post. Even if you only think like this about a woman who treated you badly, it's a big turn off for any decent woman to know that a possible boyfriend could be so easily disparaging about women.

L.Jenkins

Thanks again! I have no intention of not moving on! I never though that one person who supposedly cared, could be an asshole. Now I know how others feel when I wasn't such an exceptional person. She made her bed, she can fúcking sleep in it now as far as I'm concerned. I hope she enjoys her new man.

Barracudaincork

unregistered wrote: »

Don't go near another woman until you have more decorum than you've displayed in this post. Even if you only think like this about a woman who treated you badly, it's a big turn off for any decent woman to know that a possible boyfriend could be so easily disparaging about women.

In fairness this has been said by many men and women over the years, when they have been hurt, he isnt disparaging about women, just one woman in particular.

L.Jenkins

I only say it now, because of what happened and never once in my life met a person who was capable of such disrespect. I never would brand anyother woman with such disrespect. Apologies if I offended you.