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Ex boyfriend will not accept its over with

  • 28-04-2010 5:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm sorry for the long post and if its a bit jumbled.

    Me and my ex broke up over a month ago. He was becoming too clingy, and it pushed me away, and I just didnt feel the same anymore. I made it clear to him when we broke up that I did not feel the same, and hadnt felt the same about him for a small while before that.
    Wehad broken up a month before this, for the same reasons and because he often guiltripped me when I didnt cuddle him constantly etc even if we were with friends.
    We had been together a year and a half and are both 20.

    So, after we broke, we were still in college together, and still in some of the same classes. In these he would sit next to me (rather than sitting next to his friends), and sulk.
    In another lecture a week after breaking up, he bought me a small cake thing. I asked him why and he said "because I wanted to". It felt like he was trying to win me back.
    College finished, and I got a small break from him, but then an old friend of mine told him i had "never loved him anyway". A huge lie. I had only seen this friend about 3 times in the last year so she would know nothing about us. So then came to panicking from him. He rang my best friend crying on the phone, so it got back to me. He text me the next day asking could we meet up. My phone was on silent, so I didnt reply, and so got 4 missed calls of him. I then told him I just wanted space and to stop being so silly as to believe stupid rumours and to leave me alone. So he did.
    Since then, hadnt heard from him. But he has been telling my friend "she obviously hates me seen as she wont meet up with me". Everyone is getting sick of him going on about it. He apparently realises he is being pathetic yet continues.
    Today I got an email off him containing study notes he has typed out for me. I never asked for these. I dont know what to say to him. I don't want to hurt him. Although I dont love him anymore and I dont want to be romantically involved with him, I still care about his feelings.
    But I really feel in a position where I can't move on because he is still so in love with me. I feel I cant move on with anyone else, because I dont want him to find out and feel bad about it.
    I feel horribly guilty that I broke up with him. But its just how I felt. He kept texting me "don't feel guilty please." and would then go on about how he messed up everything and ruined his life. And asked me to think about all the good memories we had and how he cant live without me. He tells me not to feel guilty, but that's exactly how he's making me feel.

    He seems to believe that there is a chance for us, no matter how much I've made it clear.
    I dont know what else I can say. I dont want to be harsh. But I need to just get through to him that I dont want to be with him.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    In order for him to move on, he needs to stop interacting with you. Ignore all texts, calls, e-mails - change you sim and e-mail address if you have to/can. Is there someone that can take him to one side and have a word? Let him know he's starting to annoy you now?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    If it gets worse then I will changeg my number, email etc. Our exams start next week, so I imagine I will have to see him then. I plan on trying to avoid him, but being polite yet firm if he talks to me.
    After that, he has no excuse to contact me, and if he does, then I will see that he cant.

    Some of my friends hang out in his apartment because they are friends with his roommates. They have told him to just move on, give me space. They have told him that the more he tries contacting me, the more he's pushing me away and ruining our chances of ever being just friends.


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