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Dating after redundancy..

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  • 28-04-2010 4:10pm
    #1
    jobman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Posting as a man who was made redundant not so long ago, and trying to get my head around how people who've been in my shoes before have handled meeting members of the opposite sex.
    In my close circle of friends, a couple of the mates are in relationships and married/going out with people in the public sector etc, and things are grand.
    I know it's tough for everyone financially, but people are getting by. Anyway, being unemployed how much does it put everything on hold and should it matter when it comes to dating?
    In my own head I thought that my dating life would be on hold due to work scenario..it ain't a case of I don't have the funds to socialise, but just from a pride point of view more than anything else.
    In my case, I met someone by chance and things clicked and have gone well..I like someone I met..but I still haven't mentioned the obvious situation I'm in work wise..anyhow, any tips? Ladies, would it influence your opinion of someone?
    I'm retraining, doing other things...and very busy!


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    #2
    miec
    Registered Users Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    Hi Op

    It shouldn't matter to the other person if you are out of work but I can understand your concerns, some people are leery of those who are unemployed, but I think the main thing is attitude, it sounds to me that you are keeping busy, retraining and that kind of thing. If the woman in question likes you, and she should understand with the current economic crisis that a lot of people are out of work and struggling to find a job, she should accept it. I think what some people worry about is whether a person has no desire to work (you clearly do). I have dated men who were out of work, sometimes people are plain unlucky.


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    #3
    Frei
    Registered Users Posts: 125 ✭✭Frei


    If someone doesn't like you just because you are not employed they are not worth it. I would rather meet an intelligent kind man who is unemployed (which is very common now that we are in recession), than some cocky twat who has a job. Money does not maketh the man. I hope that in these times people see that there are more important things in life than your job. Being a good person is the most important thing.


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    #4
    ShagNastii
    Registered Users Posts: 4,830 ✭✭✭ShagNastii


    The recession has changed the stigma tied to the unemployed. I think everyone knows just how bad it is. I was at a birthday party not long ago and was with a group of men ranging all ages, most were unemployed. I'm a student so it's all ahead of me but they all laughed. Saying it used to be "I'm unemployed" *hangs head*. Now with the place like it is there seems to be no shame in being unemployed. I echo what the above posters have said.


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    #5
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    As long as you've got other stuff going on in your life like sports and other hobbies and interests etc and not just sitting round on your backside all day I wouldn't mind. What a man does to earn a crust never interested me. Sometimes you meet men and that's all there is to them: their job. Boring. Nowadays in Ireland it's a case of "are you working?" and not "what do you do?". Don't worry about it OP. Any girl worth her salt wouldn't mind.It's a good litmus test of someone's character actually. If she has a problem with it then at least you know early on what kind of person she is.\


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    #6
    S23
    Registered Users Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    Theres absolutely no shame in it. You aren't unemployed by choice. A lot of people find themselves in exactly the same spot as you with things being the way they are.

    There actually should never have been a stigma attached to unemployment. Even when things were going well there were still people who were unemployed for a while for whatever reason.

    As long as you're not a layabout waster then it shouldn't matter to any prospective partner.


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    #7
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I don't see what the problem is. In fact, one of my friends met their current OH while on the dole :cool: This recession has cost a lot of people their jobs and I don't think there are many people out there who don't have family or friends who are unemployed.

    Anyway, I think you should come clean so to speak. If this person you like is bothered by your being unemployed, it says a lot more about them than it does about you. Don't let it go on too long without telling them. I hope it works out for you :)


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