Could sombody explain the attraction of oysters?

conorhal

I decided to give them a chance while down in Galway recently, and Jebus H. Christo it was a harrowing experience!
So I would dearly love sombody that enjoys eating oysters to explain the attraction to me.

Firstly you do not 'eat' oysters, you fling then at the back of your throat like you're doing a shot. It hits your tonsils with a texture that I can only compare to a great big lump of cold snot, which tastes of little more then metallic brine, a unique flavor that lingers unpleasantly in your mouth until it's foulness is quickly vanquished by a good glug of Guinness.
Being in an adventurous mood at the time, I decided to explore what an oyster actually tastes like, since it seemed to be sort of ridiculous to pay dearly for a delicacy, only to treat it like cough medicine …so I decided to give one a chew. With the grim determination of a bush tucker trial celeb victim, I slid one onto my tounge and bit down..... big mistake. It instantly triggered my gag reflex and but for a gargantuan struggle between my willpower and my autonomic system, aided by a pint of Guinness, I would have puked it into the open log fire that we were sat in front of.

Having now tasted oysters, I guess my question is why? Just, why? If I wanted a similar experience again, I’d suck off a dolphin. It certainly gave me a newfound respect for girls that swallow….

Wazdakka

Well the main appeal is that they are an aphrodisiac to a lot of women.


Personally I can't stand eating the slimy little buggers.
Same goes for the Oysters

mikom

conorhal wrote: »

If I wanted a similar experience again, I’d suck off a dolphin.

They'd love it.
Sure all they are is gay sharks.

The Davestator

conorhal wrote: »

I decided to give them a chance while down in Galway recently, and Jebus H. Christo it was a harrowing experience!
So I would dearly love sombody that enjoys eating oysters to explain the attraction to me.

Firstly you do not 'eat' oysters, you fling then at the back of your throat like you're doing a shot. It hits your tonsils with a texture that I can only compare to a great big lump of cold snot, which tastes of little more then metallic brine, a unique flavor that lingers unpleasantly in your mouth until it's foulness is quickly vanquished by a good glug of Guinness.
Being in an adventurous mood at the time, I decided to explore what an oyster actually tastes like, since it seemed to be sort of ridiculous to pay dearly for a delicacy, only to treat it like cough medicine …so I decided to give one a chew. With the grim determination of a bush tucker trial celeb victim, I slid one onto my tounge and bit down..... big mistake. It instantly triggered my gag reflex and but for a gargantuan struggle between my willpower and my autonomic system, aided by a pint of Guinness, I would have puked it into the open log fire that we were sat in front of.

Having now tasted oysters, I guess my question is why? Just, why? If I wanted a similar experience again, I’d suck off a dolphin. It certainly gave me a newfound respect for girls that swallow….

Brilliant:D:D
I had a new years resolution this year to be more adventurous with food. My first port of call was to try an oyster.
Smelled crap
Looked crap
Tasted crap
Expensive

Decided there and then what a stupid new years resolution it was and gave up...

conorhal

Wazdakka wrote: »

Well the main appeal is that they are an aphrodisiac to a lot of women.

Are there any women out there that can confirm this? Or are ye just having a laugh at our expense?
Sure they my be loaded with zinc, (mercury, e-coli and salmonella) which is good for the pecker, but I think I'll stick to a multi-vitamin instead. I see nothing attractive about the scutts, or heaving a half digested mollusk all over her.

o1s1n

I am pretty sure there is a direct link between those who enjoy oysters and people who chow down on their snot.

PeterIanStaker

Never actually ate an oyster but I saw this clip when I was young and I gotta say it put me off them. If I want snot, I got a nose full of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQYoz-Cac4o

AnonoBoy

I like 'em.




















Not that anyone cares what I think.

Sergeant

Oysters are fantastic. They taste salty and invigorating, with a hint of sweetness.

Drop of Tabasco sauce if thats how you roll, they can also be nice deep-fried.

Never swallow, always chew them if eating from the shell, the full salty taste of the sea is maximised then.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I ate them before to see what all the fuss is about, and to be honest, they are nothing special at all. Normal oysters, uncooked, just tastes salty and they are quite slimey. Not very nice at all. I would love to try them a different way though. Why they are so expensive is beyond me, a snob product if anything.

My name is URL

I think they're nice, lovely with Guinness =p

conorhal

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I like 'em.

Not that anyone cares what I think.

I do, that's why I asked.

My only 'good oyster experience' involved a deep fried oyster atop a slice of black pudding with a delicate creamy sauce that I had in a Kerry seafood restaurant. Delish I have to say.

kingtut

conorhal wrote: »

tastes of little more then metallic brine, a unique flavor that lingers unpleasantly in your mouth

conorhal wrote: »

until it's foulness is quickly vanquished by a good glug of Guinness.

man your tastebuds are f*cked up! :eek:

Aidric

Love 'em aswell. Fresh as you like with a squeeze of lemon. Go well with a chilled glass of Chablis they do.

IvySlayer

Aidric wrote: »

Love 'em aswell. Fresh as you like with a squeeze of lemon. Go well with a chilled glass of Chablis they do.

Ooooh terribly posh are we?

prinz

Spoon of a bitter vinaigrette, into the oyster, slosh it back and yummy.

conorhal

IvySlayer wrote: »

Ooooh terribly posh are we?

Like British public school buggery, they are an aquired taste of the well to do I suspect....

MaybeLogic

I love oysters.
Great taste and texture, like the sea hitting the back of your throat.
There must be some sort of primordial resonance which makes it so appealing, not to mention the sexual connotations.
There's nothing tastier than a few cold oysters interspersed with mouthfuls of hot sausages.
Sensation delight.

It wasn't me!

MaybeLogic wrote: »

sexual connotations ... mouthfuls of hot sausages.

Hehehe.

stovelid

Reminds me of a joke:

What's the mating call of an oyster?

(Mimes clam opening and closing with forearms) "Wanna fuck?"

/sorry - needs to be demonstrated for optimum comic effect

lucylu

feck the Oysters I am all for the Pearls

jackiebaron

I like them too. I don't get caught up on the texture thing. I think if you have ever been in a warm sea like Med. or Caribbean, you know those bloody perfect seas...warm, sparkling, crystal clear and then you've been in a REAL sea like when you were a child e.g. Bantry Bay or Youghal or Howth where the water's really cold on a boiling day and really salty with lots of strange thingies in the water like shells and see-weed bubbles and the odd seal maybe and it's really bracing and invigorating and you wish the water wasn't seawater because it's so refreshing that you want to drink a gobful and then you get out of the water, climb and stumble, shivering over the rocks and crab-pools and make it to where yer ma is and she has a bottle of Mi-Wadi, and ham-sambos.

Well that kind of sea, taste, smell, sensation, explodes into my head when I have a lovely fresh oyster with a squeeze of lemon and maybe even a pinch of rock salt on it. Yum!

jackiebaron

Kinley Obnoxious Billionaire wrote: »

I ate them before to see what all the fuss is about, and to be honest, they are nothing special at all. Normal oysters, uncooked, just tastes salty and they are quite slimey. Not very nice at all. I would love to try them a different way though. Why they are so expensive is beyond me, a snob product if anything.

Unfortunately, it's not a snob thing. A hundred years ago you were a peasant scumbag if you ate oysters. They were a cheap and healthy food for the unwashed masses and certainly a free lunch if you lived by the sea. As were cockles, mussles and periwinkles. Then came their general popularity and now they've been over-harvested and demand is high while supply is not so high. Same thing happened to cod. When I was a young'un in the 80's cod was one of the cheapest fish you could buy and certainly in the chipper a battered cod was bottom of the pricelist. Now thanks to overfishing it's feckin' up there with bloody caviar. Well not quite but it's damn expensive.

Now caviar....that an overrated load of crap if ever I ate any. It's BOLLOCKS!

Jay D

don't get the whole oyster buzz myself.

If I wanted something slimey and disguisting like that I'd have a **** and mix it with a shot glass of sea water.

In fairness that's what you're paying for, seawater with a dash of sperm, in a shell...

Bonito

Pearls. Duh. Honestly, some people. :rolleyes:








:pac:

Smart Bug

Y'know, when in season (for eating) shellfish like oysters/mussels etc are composed mostly of gonad.

I find there's something extremely disquieting about watching someone 'down' the things when I know that what they're consuming is just the mini dong or vag of some hapless, bottom feeding mollusc.

Dudess

Ew... I clam up at the thought of them tbh...

Smart Bug

Dudess wrote: »

Ew... I clam up at the thought of them tbh...

Oyster'd it up with my comment I reckon...

Kasabian

Smart Bug wrote: »

Y'know, when in season (for eating) shellfish like oysters/mussels etc are composed mostly of gonad.

I find there's something extremely disquieting about watching someone 'down' the things when I know that what they're consuming is just the mini dong or vag of some hapless, bottom feeding mollusc.

That explains why i have been thinking of oral sex while reading this thread

RolandIRL

you shouldn't use oysters as an aphrodisiac, there's a more powerful one.

Wedding Crashers Film:

GRIEF is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. The chicks are so horny, it's not even fair. Like fishing with dyanamite.

Degag

I only ever had an oyster once before and would love to try them again. When i was going through Dublin Airport last year after the All Ireland Final, i was very tempted to go to that Seafood Bar there and get some. After 3 days on the beer though, it wouldn't have been a good idea.