Emmigration

LegacyUser

I have a good PS job, my partner has a good job too. We are going out a while now and are discussing houses and the future. I know he would leave the country if I agreed to go with him. He was born in the USA so he can move there no problem (has the passport) and I can go if we got married (we planned on getting married anyway).

He is dying to leave for a few years, maybe five. We are not the usual type of emmigrants, leaving because we have no other choice. Maybe I would be more into the idea if we were desperate but I don't want to leave family and friends behind. On the other hand, I don't want him to resent me in years to come and feel like he could have gone if he wasn't with me.

I should say he says he is happy here because I am here and he wants to be with me, but should we give it a go? I want a bit of adventure but I am also reluctant to give up our lovely life, home and careers here.

Kevster

I do not know what a PS job is, but the way that both you and he should approach this issue is by sitting down to talk about it. Arrange a date/time to have this talk, and then outline what you both want in the present and future. Maybe you will both find that an agreement is easily reachable, or maybe not.

Kevin

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I have moved countries three times so I'd like to think that I know what emigration involves and the hassles one could potentially face.

Do you know anyone where you might be moving to in the USA? Or would you have to start from scratch? Loneliness can make you feel desperate if you're somewhere on your own, especially in the beginning. Would you be able to find work there or will you be stuck at home all day? Emigration might sound like and adventure when (day) dreaming about it but it is hard work and once day to day life sets in, the "is this it?" feeling can easily rear it's ugly head. What about all the stuff you have? Are you going to store it somewhere or take it all with you?

Discuss this very well. You say he might resent you for not going but what if it happens vice versa while you're there? You starting to resent him for making you leave your friends and family behind just to please him? Five years will take very long that way.

Are there any kids involved? If yes, how do they feel about leaving their friends, family and school behind? How would the move effect their lives?

My personal experience is that moving abroad is great fun indeed, and yes can/will be adventureous but only if you're a 100% sure that you want to go. If you go, please go out and make friends, meet new people, nothing worse than being homesick in a foreign country knowing you can't go back.

Good luck making your decision

tenchi-fan

i know some public sector jobs give you the flexibility for a career break.

Depending on what age you are and the state of your finances, why don't you just take a career break and travel? You might even decide to spend a year abroad working and see how it works out, knowing your old life is still intact if you want to come home.