clucking hen???

luck be a lady

Hi, i hope this is in the correct forum, please feel free to move if not...

I really just want peoples opinions on whether my friend is correct or not because it has really gotten me thinking about something which never was on my mind before.

Basically, im after turning 26 lately and i am in the very lucky position to own my own house.I was feeling quite proud of myself as this was done all by myself and feels like an achievement. This friend owns her own house and is in a long term relationship.

We were out one night and she let it slip jokingly that I will now be perceived as a clucking hen to any man that comes my way...

Now i am not really looking for anything serious at the moment as i am quite enjoying my singledom at the moment, however if and when i do meet a nice guy, will i scare him off because he will think that babies and marriage are gonna be my next step.

Now i know this is nothing compared to the problems people out there have, but it has set me thinking and wondering if i should lie to anyone i get talking to and not let on i own the house? Would be obvious though as i live in it on my own and now thinking on it i really do sound like a lonely old spinster????

Thanks for any replies

seamus

Eh, probably entirely the opposite.

Many men will probably be very attracted to your independence and will love the idea that he can stay at yours whenever the hell he likes without having to encounter flatmates or parents or whatever. There would also never be any concern that you would talk about moving into his house/flat or whatever since you have your own place.

If he thought about it too much, he might worry that you have some baggage - maybe you bought the house with an ex-boyfriend. But, eh, probably not.

Basically, you're 26 and single and you have the female equivalent of a bachelor pad. Most men will love it. Your mate doesn't have a clue.

muinteoir09

luck be a lady wrote: »

...it has set me thinking and wondering if i should lie to anyone i get talking to and not let on i own the house? Would be obvious though as i live in it on my own and now thinking on it i really do sound like a lonely old spinster????

No and no.

Pay no attention to your friend. You will only scare a man off with talk of marriage and babies on the first date (well, first while anyway) - not by saying you have a house. It shows you are independent and work hard, nothing negative.

krudler

what? a girl with her own place would be great, no flatmates interrupting or any of that stuff. "lonely old spinster"? you're 26!!

seenitall

Your friend - jealous of you.

Don't ask me why. Maybe she sees you as prettier, maybe she sees your house as nicer than hers, maybe she envies your independant status. Maybe she settled into a relationship too soon and would sneakily prefer to be single with a house to herself, just like you are.

But jealousy or envy is the only reason why a friend would make such a catty "joke" to your face. It's a passive-aggressive dig, not a joke.

AnonoBoy

You're 26 and own your own place?

Nice.

Seriously - most guys would love if there girlfriend had her own place. No awkward, coming out of the bathroom half-naked in the middle of the night meetings with housemates, no need to worry about having to make conversation with disapproving parents.

Can't see the down side to it at all - maybe having a bit less ready cash because you're paying off a mortgage but that's about it.

Your friend sounds like she was either taking the piss or is a teeny bit jealous of you. Either way, disregard what she said - she's talking out of her arse.

luck be a lady

Thanks for the quick replies!
No, no baggage, i was just lucky to get the house at a good rate and decided my money was better in a house than rent.
I really was worrying that i would be scaring off any nice guy by mentioning it after what she said. Perhaps she is a bit jealous. Thanks again, i feel a little easier about it now....

John Mason

this is my personal take on it and my experience. everyone is going to come back and say i am talking rubbish but this is my experience.

it is really surprising but owning your own house as a girl is strangely off putting to men.

i own my house, i was in the process of buying when i was single, met a guy, bought the house after about 6 months of knowing him. we argued all the time because it was my house and i could kick him out anytime (when i did just that he tried to take me to court to sell the house and give him half :rolleyes:)

so was single for 3 years and i can say it was really off putting to a lot of guys who didnt own their own houses, they felt intimidated because i could get my act together and buy a house :eek::rolleyes::pac:

i remember a few years ago talking to some male friends about owning my house and whether it was off putting to men and they agreed that yes, it could be but a guy owning his own house was a bonus because girls like to think they will be looked after but men dont like the idea of being kept:rolleyes:

now, i am in a secure relationship and was talking to my boy about the house, we were recorating (he has lived here for over a year now) and he told me that he never consider this as his home because it is my house and he feels a bit like a lodger sometimes :rolleyes::(:rolleyes: this really upset me because i think of it as our home.

so yes, you may appear like a clucking hen to some guys but feck them - its just jealousy and insecurity on their part and lets be honest you dont need someone in your life who is like that.

all the guys who posted previously are talking about how great it would be to have a gf who lived by themselves but what happens when you get seriously and you move in to the house and the gas boiler breaks down and she expects you to pay half the cost of a new one ?

tinkerbell

Your friend sounds a bit stupid and clueless to be honest. You own your own house, that's something to be PROUD of, not to be ashamed of.

Anyway, any guy having a problem with a girl owning her own home is a bit odd, in fairness.