Pregnant and Money worries... Help?

RuthieRose

I need some advice on the money side of things...
It’s our first baby and it’s being overshadowed by the dreaded money issue. I just don't know how we are going to cope. My husband is now on a 3 day week, I don't get paid Maternity leave from work so my wages will be cut in half and we have loans and a house to pay for. From doing a quick add up we won't be able to meet repayments on our house, loans and eat all at the same time.
I know I will need to go back to work as soon as possible as I just can not afford to take the 6 months.
I haven't slept in over a week worrying about this.
Does anyone know... Apart from State Maternity Benefit is there any other form of assistance?

This is not how I planned it. Can any one help??

elsy

We are in a similar situation and spoke to our bank they are currently organising a 6 month mortgage moratorium (holiday) maybe your bank might help I would recommend organising a meeting

Grawns

That's a great idea about the bank. Also perhaps your husband could get a part-time job in addition to his current one. It's horrible having money worries at the best of times and it's an awful shame that you can't enjoy your pregnancy over this. Best of luck.

stevoman

D.R cowboy wrote: »

You should consider not having this baby and consider waiting till the time is right.........how can you expect to raise a child without money unless you expect the tax payer to pay for you child

i bet your the type of person that thrives on other peoples misery are'nt you!

what type of help is that to the woman?
If you cant help or give adive then done post.
Consider it reported.

OP we are kind of one the same boat. My GF is expecting are second and we are down a good few quid and things are'nt getting any better.

Like another person said go to the bank and see if you can put the mortgage off for a few months. Ans yes if need be go to social welfare and see if they can help with family income supplements or anything. You pay your taxes to your intitled to them.

Dont panick or let it get you down. Enjoy having your babay and remember that your health is your wealth!

Nevyn

D.R cowboy banned for being a troll.

oicherider

D.R cowboy wrote: »

You should consider not having this baby and consider waiting till the time is right.........how can you expect to raise a child without money unless you expect the tax payer to pay for you child

Ha ha.. thats pathetic!! Tax payers money is more important that a little childs life now is it.. Who ever wrote that was nothing short of a scumbag!

We are expecting out first also - Congratulations to you!!!

We are in a similar situation in that my work is all but gone in the last few months and as being self employed no benefits for me.. on top of this my wife is temp and will be told she's gonna be let go once the know that she is expecting (and legally the way things are now it looks like they can do this!!)

I was worried out of my mind about this but then it dawned on me - Look at the facts and the supposed worst case scenario - Your house goes and you have a child to look after! You have to think about this - It might not be the way that you want it but... YOU WILL HAVE A CHILD!!.. I thought of the married couples that I know and cant have kids.. Those poor people will have their house but no kids to fill it.. ever!!

You have to stop worrying about it and look after yourself and your little one.. You have to believe that things will work out and you will keep your house - If in the unlikely event that you dont.. You will start again and work to get another house but at the end of the day its all material stuff that time will sort out..

You are going to be a Mam!! Your child wont know or care where it is living for a looonnnngggg time - You shouldnt either! Let the house go - If you can keep it great!!! (that idea of the meeting with the manager is a good one) But more importantly look after yourself and that little child you are carrying.. and when it comes along just shower it with love because that will be alot more important to it than anything else..

Things will work out for us all.. We have been blessed to be in the position to have these problems and in time we will prevail.. it might be a bit tough but at least we can change it over time!! We just have to appreciate what we have and know that we will be ok in time!! Go to bed and just feel the love that you have for that little child already, enjoy the feeling and get some sleep.. Life will sort itself out!

xzanti

D.R cowboy wrote: »

You should consider not having this baby and consider waiting till the time is right.........how can you expect to raise a child without money unless you expect the tax payer to pay for you child

Sickening slimeball.. crawl under a rock and die..

Try not to worry yourself too much OP things always have a way of working themselves out..

RuthieRose

Elsy - Thanks so much thats great advice. Hopefully they are not like Dr. Cowboy

Grawns - my husband is looking for some part-time work. So fingers crossed

Stevoman - Congrats to you both and thanks for sticking up for me and you too I suppose. D.R Cowboy can.... Be careful what you wish for eh!! Hopefully it won't come to going to the social welfare but we pay are taxes just like most and if we are entitled then pay tax sincethe age of 16 will make it feel worth while.

Oicherider - Congrats back!! Your right and you made me cry!!! (Its the hormones!!!)

Its great to get this information and (although its not nice) to know there are people in the same boat. We don't know many people here so its hard to know who ask!
The likes of D.R Cowboy must be a very lonely little man!!

janmc

As one of my friends in a similar situation said - the baby doesn't know there's a recession on! She's just glad to be getting so much attention and having 2 parents there all the time.

Try to think of the positives and work out all the financial implications before deciding to take less than the 6 months. You might be surprised how little difference with tax etc going back after 3 months will make.

Mountainsandh

Hi RuthieRose, sorry I can't help with the work or other financial help side of things.
First, congratulations, and just to say, when you have your first baby, there's so much pressure on spending money on it : buggy, cot, steriliser, clothes...
but baby won't mind second hand clothes, a second hand buggy, a second hand sterilizer, a second hand bouncer ... Have you ever checked out the Freecycle site ? People give away things that they don't need anymore, some things could be brand new, others used.
Your baby will not be aware he/she's wearing a "charity shop" outfit, or something passed on from your friend's baby. As long as he/she is cosy and warm, fed, and changed, and it has its Mummy and Daddy near, that's all it will want. It's the Mum and Dad that can be put out a bit by having to get stuff second hand, not the baby .
I just gave away about 8 bags of clothes from my two kids with Freecycle, some never worn because people made so many presents, and was so glad to see them gone from my house, and think they'd be useful again. Gave away my sterilizer, and other baby things that were still in great working condition. Again, baby won't know the difference between a spanking new buggy and a second hand one, provided it's comfortable and safe. Ebay have great gear (often new) at very competitive prices. Bought a highchair, playpen, and car seat from a great ebay shop I can recommend by pm. They also have buggies.
If you rule out the "hardware" costs, or greatly reduce them in that way, you're left with food and medical costs, and they're ok, and medical costs can be covered if you have a medical card.

Hope it all works out for you, remember, baby won't mind, even if you did end up living in a different place, it would make no difference to him/her.

cbyrd

Hey congratulations..

go to your bank and sit down with them and work out where you can save money.. you'll have the childrens allowance too which i know is not much but it does help.

i know exactly how you feel.. i was here this time last year, we sold our house paid off our debt and now we're renting til we can afford a house again, similar situation only i was self-employed within a familly business. this is our third baba.. and we budget and we watch what we spend so we don't touch our nest egg but i couldn't be happier. we don't have the luxuries but i don't care. i have healthy kids and there happy to have a full time mammy instead of a stressed one

the bank did offer a 3 month moratorium and 6 months interest only payments but we were extremely lucky to get a buyer after only 3 weeks. and maybe if you approach the credit union to consolidate your loans you never know it doesnt hurt to ask and at least being proactive makes you feel more confident about coping.
above all try not to stress i know its terrifying to think of the future but worrying will not help you or your baba.the earlier you can talk with those you owe money too and work out a plan the better you'll feel. maybe give MABS a try.. good luck and if it's a boy i have lots of barely worn boy clothes;)

the_syco

RuthieRose wrote: »

My husband is now on a 3 day week

Can you get proof that he used to work a 5 day week? Pretty sure there is some welfare thing that people who have had their days slashed can get. No idea what it's called.

Maybe this is it: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/supplementary-welfare-schemes/supplementary_welfare_allow but I've no idea. Best of luck with the kid.

Bit of advice: anyone thinking of getting your kid ANY clothes, tell them to get clothes for when the kid is a year old, or two years old, etc. I say this, as they'll last longer. You'll go through lots of clothes for the first year, and they can never be used again. You should be able to get such clothes in the 2nd hand clothes shop easy enough, I'd say.

Gerard93

RuthieRose wrote: »

I need some advice on the money side of things...
It’s our first baby and it’s being overshadowed by the dreaded money issue. I just don't know how we are going to cope. My husband is now on a 3 day week, I don't get paid Maternity leave from work so my wages will be cut in half and we have loans and a house to pay for. From doing a quick add up we won't be able to meet repayments on our house, loans and eat all at the same time.
I know I will need to go back to work as soon as possible as I just can not afford to take the 6 months.
I haven't slept in over a week worrying about this.
Does anyone know... Apart from State Maternity Benefit is there any other form of assistance?

This is not how I planned it. Can any one help??

Hi,
Have you checked your entitlments with Social welfare, if you have sufficient PRSI paid you should be entitled to Maternity Benefit, also once baby is born you could qualify for Family Income supplement and you will qualify for Child benefit. Best of luck

Nevyn

Maternity Benefit is not the equalvant to the op's wages, at most it's €270 per week and in most cases employers will top up the rest of the money but not all will and most won't if a person is not a permant employee.

caprilicious

RuthieRose - firstly congrats on your pregnancy! Exciting times ahead

I was in a similar position when we found out I was pregnant, my husband and my wages were both cut substantially. (Great timing :rolleyes: )
If you go to MABS they offer excellent advice & will tell you how to go about reducing your outgoings.

As mentioned above the mortgage company will most likely offer you a 3/6 month payment break or interest only repayments.

If when you return to work you're having trouble meeting repayments on the mortgage, etc there is also Family Income Support <http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/family_income_supplement&gt; I don't know the criteria to qualify for it but you may be entitled to that.

I went to MABS & Citizens Advice, spoke to them both and found them both excellent.
I think the most important thing is to tackle the problem as early as possible so you're not spending the rest of the pregnancy stressing.
Who knows, by the time you have baby your partner may have been put back to a 5 day week or found a full time job.

Looking back I cant get over how much I stressed over how much baby would cost when she arrived but its not as expensive as you'd think!
For example 1 x tin of baby formula, a pack of 40 nappies & a pack of wipes costs under €20 a week.
Things like the pram/cot you can buy second hand in good condition for a lot less than buying new.
I bought a bundle of clothes on ebay, yes they were second hand but little babies grow out of clothes so fast its not like they would've been worn much by the previous owner. They cost €80 for almost 100 items.
I got so many presents of clothes that all I'll need is vests/gro's til she's 12 months!

Things like babygro's/vests I bought weekly when I was doing the shopping in Tescoes as they're under €10 a pack, so buying a pack every few weeks ensured I had plenty when my little lady (finally!) arrived.

I thought it'd cost €1000's but in reality it cost about €1000 altogether & that's for everything cot (€300)/travel system pram€400)/clothes(€150)/changing unit (€70)/breast pump €50/etc

I know easier said than done, but please don't stress try and enjoy your pregnancy

oicherider

Hey Caprilicious..

RuthR. wont be the only one glad to read your post!!.. To be honest I had no idea of what it would cost.. was thinking 1000's also!!!.. Sounds a bit more managable now!!

RuthieRose - I hope youve gotten a good nights sleep by now!!

ROTTING CHRIST

I know DR Cowboy was out of line with those comments, but I agree with the general message he was giving. Myself + girlfriend are both out of work at the moment, and we are making damn sure she doesn't get pregnant. It's not that difficult to prevent if you aren't in a good financial position to raise children. I don't think it's fundamentally correct to encourage and applaud pregnancy for couples who can't afford children.

How Strange

IMO there is never an ideal time to have a baby. There will always be a reason to wait or put it off but like most things in life when you're faced with the reality of it you cope and get on with it.

OP, you got great advice about going to MABS etc. There will be a lot of people in this country for a long time to come who won't be able to afford to have children. That's the reality of modern Ireland.

I'd imagine my parents couldn't afford to have us when we were born in 70's not to mention putting us through school etc in 80's but they managed and while we weren't spoiled rotten we were loved and never wanted for anything.

Congratulations and try not to worry about money too much.

Limerickgal82

ROTTING CHRIST wrote: »

I know DR Cowboy was out of line with those comments, but I agree with the general message he was giving. Myself + girlfriend are both out of work at the moment, and we are making damn sure she doesn't get pregnant. It's not that difficult to prevent if you aren't in a good financial position to raise children. I don't think it's fundamentally correct to encourage and applaud pregnancy for couples who can't afford children.

Seriously if you do not have anything constructive to say ... then say nothing ! Your post does not help her situation.

Brainz

I'm just reading this and i'm pretty much in the same position baby due September she was let go from work and i'm hanging in by a thread at the moment so i'd like to thank some of the posters for the advice that they have given the OP as i have taken away some words of wisdom away from this myself !!

Best of luck OP

Moonbeam

I remember someone telling be babies are only as expensive as you make them,and there is alot of truth in it.
The initial outlay for a cot and buggy/pram is the biggest once off spend and for both new can be anything from 200 euro up.
Sites like ebay and kiddicare.com aswell as sales will save you a fortune as will stuff like 3 for 2 specials in boots where you can aquire points then use them as cash.
I presume social welfare is being claimed for the 3 day week?
You might be entitled to fis too.
Talk to your social welfare officer and relax and enjoy your pregnancy.
Congrats!

RuthieRose wrote: »

I need some advice on the money side of things...
It’s our first baby and it’s being overshadowed by the dreaded money issue. I just don't know how we are going to cope. My husband is now on a 3 day week, I don't get paid Maternity leave from work so my wages will be cut in half and we have loans and a house to pay for. From doing a quick add up we won't be able to meet repayments on our house, loans and eat all at the same time.
I know I will need to go back to work as soon as possible as I just can not afford to take the 6 months.
I haven't slept in over a week worrying about this.
Does anyone know... Apart from State Maternity Benefit is there any other form of assistance?

This is not how I planned it. Can any one help??

foxy06

If you go to the local charity shop with a list of what you need they will call you when stuff comes in. I did this and the only things I bought new was cot and mattress.
My husbands working full time and I'm part time and I STILL am finding it hard to manage. I could only take 6 weeks off on my last pregnancy. We have rent and credit union repayments and all my bills get paid but there is nothing left! Really is depressing but the best thing I find with this recession is there is no shame in saying your broke anymore and can't afford to do all the things people want you to do.

gaeilgegrinds1

Congratulations m'dear, am a new Mummy myself & have never been happier in my life, tired but happy!

In truth, babies do not need a lot of money, a lot of money and attention yes.
I would suggest going into the bank, 6 months only paying interest will make the world of good to ye. Any chance your hubby could take on a few hours somewhere? Even a night a week or so? Or could you do something small, a night babysitting or some paperwork etc? Just a thought.

But in truth, babies are not as expensive as people think. They don't need new everything, start looking now & you'll kit yourselves out for a lot less than you thought. Best of luck

caprilicious

ROTTING CHRIST wrote: »

I know DR Cowboy was out of line with those comments, but I agree with the general message he was giving. Myself + girlfriend are both out of work at the moment, and we are making damn sure she doesn't get pregnant. It's not that difficult to prevent if you aren't in a good financial position to raise children. I don't think it's fundamentally correct to encourage and applaud pregnancy for couples who can't afford children.

Good for you, pat on the back. Now have you actually got any constructive advice?

I agree with what other posters above said, sometimes there is never a good time to have kids. If we waited til our finances were 100% we would be in our 40's and would hugely reduce our chances of being able to have kids.
Its probably safe to say the majority of us now having kids are the same people that bought houses during the property boom so we're all in the same boat of massive mortgages & reduced hours/wages in work.

It could be worse, when my parents had my sister and I the mortgage interest rates went up to 17% & my mum was at home minding us so only one income coming in.
They managed, we were well reared and wanted for nothing.
Ok we weren't spoiled, didn't have all the new toys/games whatever, but we had two parents that adored us. Can't put a price on that!

There was a whole generation of couples during the recession/depression in the 80's, if they had thought it wasn't 'fundamentally correct' to bring children into the world, there also wouldn't be a lot of us here now

oicherider glad you found it useful truth be told you could spend a lot less.
I spent that bit more as we want to have a brother or sister for our little lady in the near future, so we spent a little bit more in the hope that it'll last for the two of them.
If we have a girl next she'll cost us nothing we have that many clothes!

Ikea do a cot/mattress for under €100, you can get second hand travel systems with buggy/pram/car seat for about €200, bringing baby home from hospital all you really need is those, a few clothes & a few bottles.

Moonbeam is absolutely right, babies are only as expensive as you make them

RuthieRose

Thanks folks for all your advice. I have sat down with my OH and discussed everything with him. We are going to go into the bank and discuss our options. It won't be easy talking to someone about it as my hormones are mental at the moment and I keep bursting into tears at the smallest thing!!!:o Things haven't gotten any better or any worse yet. Which is good...The real pain will come when my wages turn into 270e a week. Trying to stay positive. I know other people out there are in the same boat and everyone who has given advice has been very good. Never thought of MABS or the Credit Union. Thanks so much to you all.

Rotting Christ - Good for you. I hope you are happy and you and your partner are young enough to wait for the economy to turn around...and everything goes according to your plan and it works for you first time around. Be careful up on that high horse.

caprilicious

If its any consolation Ruthie Rose, when we went to the bank for a meeting about our mortgage it took almost a month to get an appointment, there are that many people in the same boat so you're not alone!
I found that a bit of a consolation at least!

Don't forget, if you're married you can transfer your tax credits to your husband while you're on leave (think it worked out for us at about €40 extra a week).

When you're doing the list of your income/outgoings for the bank (they'll prob send you out a form to complete with this before you meet them), don't count the children's benefit until the second month, for some reason they don't pay it the month your baby is born

Aspoonfull

RuthieRose don't forget there are quite a few baby items going for free on places like adverts.ie and jumbletown.ie. I've already picked up a free baby bath, highchair and changing table. And you'd be surprised what you can borrow from those around you, a moses basket or carry cot for example could be borrowed as it is only used for a limited time. Then spend the money you do have on the big items like a cot, pram and car seat.
Either way I do hope things work out for you & your hubby and the new arrival when it makes is appearance :-)

greg80

Grawns wrote: »

That's a great idea about the bank. Also perhaps your husband could get a part-time job in addition to his current one. It's horrible having money worries at the best of times and it's an awful shame that you can't enjoy your pregnancy over this. Best of luck.

It's almost imposible to get part time work if you are seen a skilled. I've been trying for a year.