Friends???

LegacyUser

Lately I have been feeling like the people I think are my friends really aren't my friends at all. Anytime we meet up I come away from it feeling frustrated and angry. Sometimes I feel like they don't take me seriously and like they disregard my opinions. We could be having a discussion and I could state a fact that I know to be true but if one of them stated the opposite the others would agree with her. They belittle and make fun of things that are important to me.
We went on holidays together recently and it was a far from enjoyable experience. I felt isolated and excluded. There were snide comments made to me about various things, and to some extent looking back on the holiday it almost felt like bullying.
There have been occassions lately where they have met up and I have been excluded or have been invited at the last minute when there was no way I could make it. They never talk to me about anything important in their lives but they do talk to each other about things. If I try to have a serious conversation with them about things it is usually ignored or made fun of. It feels like because we have always been a group that I am still included but deep down none of them are really my friends.
There is one member of the group who I have a particularly hard time getting on with. And to be honest I don't think she likes me and I don't like her either but we can't avoid each other when the group gets together.
The thing about it is that without these people I pretty much have no one to socialise with or talk to (apart from family). If they are making me miserable should I just cut them out of my life or cut down the contact I have with them? Any advice welcome. Has anyone had a similar experience.

Orla K

I've known people like that and they are no good for your mental health.

You need to forget about these people, forget about the fact that you have no one else to hang around with, do you really want to spend time with these people? If the answer is yes that's a bigger PI than I thought.

You don't say what age you are but I'm guessing your an adult since you all went on holiday together. If your going to be going to college that's a brilliant place to meet new people, or a one year p/t course in something your interested in. I worked in a shop once only for a few months and have been friends with two other people that worked there since (which was years ago now) the other people working there were like your 'friends' Have a look at what's going on where you live and sign yourself up for whatever you can.

I really think you should just drop them, why put yourself through the miserable experience of being around them anymore. They might even start to 'miss you' or at least miss have someone to put down and make themselves feel better.

Lucyx

Ms Un Reg wrote: »

If they are making me miserable should I just cut them out of my life or cut down the contact I have with them?

i can't give you a bigger YES !!!

these people are awful and they are not your friends at all.
your friends should make you feel good about yourself and want the best for you. you'll actually become damaged if you continue to have these people in your life.

parker larkin

drop 'em, but not in a dramatic way.
You've all clearly outgrown each other.
Get out there and meet similar minded people. Or make more effort to meet up with people who are currently acquaintances instead of these socalledfriends.

They're clearly driving you demented, and it sounds like you're giving this situ a whole lot more thought and effort than they are. Which is a waste of your time!

Hank_Jones

I would really say to drop them. I was ''friends'' with a group of people when I was younger and they were basically just bad news.
I eventually realised that I didn't even like these people and didn't really enjoy much of the things we did as a group.
Find people with similar interests and attitudes to yourself, this way you won't feel like so much of an outsider, as everyone will have things in common.

People like that just make you feel bad about yourself and trust me, you certainly don't need that stuff in your life.
Life is hard enough without having to deal with dickheads as ''friends''.

LegacyUser

OP here, you've all pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. Even when I read back over my original post I thought that if anyone else had written it I would have been telling them to get away from these people.
Thanks for the advice. I am going to distance myself from them and get out there and find people who are interested in the things I am interested in.

Orla K

Ms Un Reg wrote: »

OP here, you've all pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. Even when I read back over my original post I thought that if anyone else had written it I would have been telling them to get away from these people.
Thanks for the advice. I am going to distance myself from them and get out there and find people who are interested in the things I am interested in.

Good luck to you, in the ladies lounge there is a thread of find a friend(dublin but there's other meet ups), could be helpful