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  • 26-04-2010 11:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi, not sure what my questions are, any comments and thoughts are welcomed.

    i am 34, female, doing another full-time degree to get a recognised qualification for my future career.

    i am very poor and always busy with my study and job (to survive).

    i am not ugly, get guys approached sometimes but nothing come out of that, and i was having with feelings towards a guy that did not love me for a few years anyway (stupid i know, anyway, woke up now).

    now, i stop looking for guys. i still hope i can meet the right guy especially at the age of 34. but at the same time, i feel i got tied up by things in life and cant put much effort to meet the guys. i dont even have extra money to social..., to dress up...

    i feel i have to get a job first before i find a guy, but then i am 34 (yes, i know it's a number, but i want to have a baby, if i can), seem that i should do it quick.

    also, i dont know where i can meet guys without spending money (hey,you know what i mean, even a go to swimming needs money and coffee after that and this and that). really, no money for even such basic entertainment is embarassing. but money is very tight as i need to save up huge college fee. but i dont want guys to pay for me neither.

    ok, i feel very down especially after writing this.... i guess i should finish my study first, get some money first instead of looking anywhere. and by the time i finish my study, i would be 35/36. sigh...


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    #2
    mollymascara
    Closed Accounts Posts: 95 ✭✭mollymascara


    I can understand about the financial side of things, Im not exactly flashing the cash these days myself, that being said there are lots of things to do and see that dont cost anything at all, and as for getting a coffee or whatever, I dont think the majority of men out there would have a problem with shelling out the couple of euro that would cost. I personally wouldnt expect a guy to pay for everything, but I do think the expense can be shared.
    In terms of the whole dating dilema you have, you say you are 34, there are hundreds of women out there your age and older single, Im not sure what you feel the rush is, because chances are, you will end up in a relationship just for the sake of being in one rather than being with the right person for you, which, IMO wouldnt be fair on either party. You also mention you want children, again, this will take time. IMO, you generally meet some one when you least expect to or arent looking at all.
    Personally, I wouldnt consider having children unless I was in a secure and loving relationship and had the means to provide for not only myself but a child aswell. If I was in your situation, I would concentrate on finishing my degree.


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    #3
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Hi, thought i would get back to this. I'll randomly cover points.

    First off is the money issue. Two people dont need to spend lots of money to have great dates. However, I dont think someone should scrimp and save every penny. Lets just say for instance you meet a guy, you say you dont want him to pay for things. Which is nice of you. However any decent guy will pay the dates upon hearing that. I just noticed you said you were unemployed. IMO, if you are in the early stages of a relationship with someone you should really have the money to at least go on dates. But more so for saving for college you really should try and get a job. That should be your first priority.


    As for getting a man, as mollymascara said you are only 34. Plenty of other men and woman out there at that age single.

    In my experience in our "downtimes" in life (when we are single etc) our main concern should be to make ourselves better / better standard of living rather than worrying about other things.


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