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A Friend Problem

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  • 26-04-2010 9:16pm
    #1
    Musicman2000
    Registered Users Posts: 1,461 ✭✭✭


    Hi lads,

    Can I get a few opinions on this please, it’s just a bit easier from people I don’t know.

    A good friend of mine, was meeting a chap, for about a month or so up until recently, and she fell for him which happens to us all, but unfortunley I was told something about him from a reliable source in confidence, Which was fairly serious and it would have ruined her and her families life if her parents found out about him.

    I was caught in a bad situation, either break the confidence and tell her or say nothing and leave her life be ruined. I eventually gave in and told her and it did break her heart, I was only being a friend and looking out for her, she was shocked that she couldn’t see this in the person. They are not together anymore, but she will barely speak to me now over telling her, like I said earlier I would have done it for any of my mates, she said she doesn’t blame me, but any time I txt her she said it reminds her of him and things cant be same between us again, this is the part I cant get my head around, she said she in not blaming me? But she is in a way, it’s just a kick in the balls after looking out for a friend and being honest with her, any ideas what I should do? As it’s wrecking my head and I feel like im in the wrong now.

    Thanks


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    #2
    Des Carter
    Registered Users Posts: 720 ✭✭✭Des Carter


    leave the ungrateful twit alone she owes you bigtime for saving her from the relationship and if shes too imature to see that then let her off. keep txting her etc and she might come around but until then dont stress about her irrational notions as you are not at fault at all.


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    #3
    parker larkin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 343 ✭✭parker larkin


    there's no point regretting it. It's done now. Could you have lived with the alternative? Chances are that would have ruined the friendship for you.

    Perhaps giving her some space to deal with what she's discovered and recover from the fact she thought her life was going in one direction and then had the rug pulled under her feet?

    If she'd really wanted to make a go of it with him, maybe she would have taken it on board and carried on with the relationship.


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    #4
    deadpoet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭deadpoet


    What the hell is this, some kind of riddle or something?

    So if they didnt find out about this secret their lives wouldn't have been affected, and if they did their lives would have been destroyed?

    What could it possibly have been?

    In most situations it would have been best not to have uttered a word.

    What a truely strange situation...


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    #5
    Musicman2000
    Registered Users Posts: 1,461 ✭✭✭Musicman2000


    deadpoet wrote: »
    What the hell is this, some kind of riddle or something?

    So if they didnt find out about this secret their lives wouldn't have been affected, and if they did their lives would have been destroyed?

    What could it possibly have been?

    In most situations it would have been best not to have uttered a word.

    What a truely strange situation...

    Oh you got that right it dose sound like a riddle, I would love to say what this chap was like she was meeting, but I cant on a public board, He was just a very bad person and I feel sorry for any girl that would end up with him.


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    #6
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Your friend fell for this chap. She has now been hurt. Not only by whatever revelation you gave her about the chap she was seeing but also hurt because she couldn't see it in him and it completely distorted her view of the kind of person he was.

    She was probably trusting him to be honest with her about himself yet he was putting on some sort of charade to reel her in. Not knowing the in and out of this I can't say if he's a bad person and she is best off without him but, it was obviously serious enough for her to push him away.

    She's lost a little bit of faith in people and has been hurt. She needs some time to think over things. She'll be wrecking her brain thinking how did she let herself get hurt (again?).

    Don't be so hard on yourself. She needs a bit of space to think and find her feet again. Hope this helps.


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    #7
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    At this stage there's nothing you can do only leave this girl alone. You did what you felt was the right thing and did it with the best of intentions. I suppose because this girl had got it bad for this bloke, it's going to take her a while to get over it. Perhaps too she is bothered/embarrassed by her having fallen for a bad character and she resents you knowing about it.

    Anyway, you've done your bit and it's up to your friend now to sort out her own head. Hopefully she will come to terms with things and get back in contact. Just like you can't make somebody love you, you can't make this girl be a good friend again when there are clearly issues still up in the air. In fact, continuing to contact her is probably inflaming things.


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    #8
    Musicman2000
    Registered Users Posts: 1,461 ✭✭✭Musicman2000


    Cheers for the advice lads and ladies, Ill leave her be so and see what happens from there:)


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