Two Issues.

LegacyUser

This is a thread about three issues I have to deal with, with a prospective boyfriend.

1) I am in final year of college and obtaining my degree in June. However, it has been a rollercoaster of a ride for me. I'm graduating 3 years behind my original class, which in itself has been very hard to swallow. Anyway, I'm over that now and am quite optimistic of the future.

The problem that has arisen is, there is someone who I'm attracted to and I'm sure he feels the same about me also. We are the same age and on the same career path. However, he is quite far ahead of me. The problem is, how do I explain to him why I have gotten so behind in college? We have not dated yet so I'm worried as to what to say to him when he asks my age (I know his age after doing some research on the internet) and why the hell am I still in college?!

2) I have OD'd on paracetamol twice. How and when do I tell him about this? This is also linked to the fact that I have gotten behind in college so I can't explain that without telling him about this.

3) I'm an average looking girl but have some facial hair (on sides and chin) and am actually having something done about this. However, it will take a while before it is cleared. I have dark hair so in sunlight he would be able to see some black spots on the sides. I would be very conscious of him touching me on my face in those certain areas as it would feel a little rough. How do I avoid this?

Thank You.

Truley

Just tell the truth, that you were going through a difficult patch and needed to take some time off. You don't have to elaborate, tonnes of people are in similar situations. At least 40% of my college course didn't graduate at the same time as me for various reasons.

Adelante

Hey Op, first congrats on getting this stage in your schooling just one more drive now to get over that line and get that degree good on you, and don't stop there keep making goals, keep moving forward!!

From what you said in your post, it sound's like you have done something so motivational for others to see, yet sometime's we can't see it for ourselves.

To be on that rollercoster, the O-ding, and everything else, to be out the otherside and this close to fullfilling your dreams -assuming this is your dream of course, I feel you need to give yourself the credit that you deserve.

When you have that self belief in that ability to get through what you have, you own that, and no-one can take that from you, now Im not talking about badges of honour here, because and this is only my opinion, when you discuss your wounds with someone you are really still back there in that moment, its that methaphor of -you keep picking a scab on wound it never heals idea-.It's almost survival instinct I survived X, Y etc and I dont see a survivor I see a Thriver someone moving forward getting on

If you really like this guy awesome,when your ready you will share with him and this is key -whatever YOU want, how ever you want, by this I mean when you have the self belief in yourself, when you trust yourself and -you have trust in your relationship to share such info- you will always always do the best thing.

So finally this is just a suggestion feel free to neglect it and do your own thing focus on what you want in a relationship, what you want in your life, what you want as career etc, not on what your potential bf might or might not want to hear, not on what you percieve as holding you back, focus on how you can use your history to create history, Believe it Achieve it. Enjoy your life be present here in the moment in love and light. X O X O

Cheap Thrills!

OP, don't mention a word about the suicide attempts whatever you do. If you two do become a relationship you can share that with him MUCH MUCH later.

Relationships should begin gently and blurting out too much sensitive personal information early in is likely to scare the crap out of the guy.

Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Your college didn't go to plan, you don't have to explain why TOO explicitly at first, just be general. Life is not a competition. How slow or fast you did the course is not an issue to a prospective boyfriend.

As for the facial hair, well its getting sorted out. No-one is perfect so try not to stress about it. I'd be more inclined to be honest about that upfront than the suicide attempts, after all those incidents are in the past and your facial hair is something you are dealing with now.

All the best.

LegacyUser

I agree with the people who say that there is no reason why you should be so specific in explaining it to him yet. You barely know him, and it's very personal stuff. Tell him you needed to take some time off for personal reasons, and if everything goes well, maybe you'll feel comfortable with telling him in the future. There are lots of people who take years off college (to travel, work, change courses, etc).

About the hair: You should'n worry so much. I think most women have a bit of facial hair, especially in Mediterranean countries (I am half Spanish, and people tend to be a bit hairier and with darker hair there, including women, so you see more ladies with a bit of a moustache/chin hair). Lots of these women are very attractive nonetheless and it's not such a big deal. I'm sure if the guy likes you and you don't call his attention to it, he won't mind.

Best of luck.

kjl

These issues are very small, tell him you were very sick for two years and it really affected you studying meaning you had to repeat the years.

Dont mention the ODing, he doesnt need to know

as for the facial hair, I went out with a girl who had that too, she used to just get an electric hair trimmer and trim them off, no big deal.

LegacyUser

Thank you all for your helpful advice.

I would especially like to thank Adelante. Your post was really inspiring. I have up until recently always worried about others opinions of me. I think that is just human nature. I've been changing the last few months though.

I feel that if you are going into a relationship with someone with 2 OD's behind you (one of which I was in ICU because I was unconscious), it is only right that the man should know because I feel like I'm kind of tricking him into a relationship without him knowing everything about me. I'm an honest girl.

I also feel the same about the hair. Again, I feel like I'm tricking him. We have mutual friends so, if he mentions it to someone he is seeing me and they say something along the lines of, "oh yeah, you're going out with that girl who had facial hair". Can you imagine the embarrassment for him!! I'm sorry if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill but I just feel that I need to think of all these things before I start dating him.