Just been diagnosed with herpes simplex

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

A few days ago I was diagnosed with herpes simplex (genital herpes) and I'm beyond depressed about it. The doctor (and myself) has no idea how I got it as I do not sleep around. The last time I had sex was two years ago as I'm very "it has to be the right guy" kinda thing and Ive only ever slept with two guys, both who I was in a long term relationship with. The only thing I can think of is a stupid "fumble in the dark" type thing I had with a girl a few weeks ago whilst being veeeeery drunk. And I'm so in shock that I could have contracted it that way! Now I have to suffer the consequences of having no one wanting to come near me as anyone I tell will more than likely think I'm a dirty slut which is so far from the case

Im only 20 and have prided myself on being so "good" I guess you could put it Most of my friends do sleep around and have caught nothing like this so I cant help but think its so unfair! And if that girl did have it, why the **** didnt she tell me?! Ive been crying my eyes out the past few nights and just dont know what to do now. Any shred of confidence I had is completely gone, and I was just getting my life back on track after a series of horrible things going on over the past few months.

Of course, if I meet someone I really like and it gets to an intimate stage I will tell them. Im not an asshole and besides all the embarrassing **** its INCREDIBLY painful, and can lead to much more serious illnesses and I do NOT want to be responsible for such a thing. How people can spread it without caring is beyond me. And thats where the word disgusting springs to mind.

Now all that I can think about is "who the hell will want to go near someone that has herpes?!" Thankfully Im on meds for it and right now I dont have it but it stays in your system so I'd have to say it to "whoever" regardless. It could come back frequently or it may never come back again. It can also lead to a difficult pregnancy which is so upsetting too. Nothing anyone can say will make me feel better as I feel like a dirty disgusting diseased person destined to a loveless hell of a life Dramatic, yes, but thats how I feel Guess I needed to get that off my chest or anyone else have it that could share some light on what living with herpes is like? Much appreciated x

entropi

You could have gotten it quite easily 2 years ago, or a few weeks ago with that "drunken fumble". The thing about Herpes Simplex is that it will hang around with you forever, lying dormant until it wants to rear its ugly head. Its good that you went to see a G.P. about it, hopefully you've been able to contact the other two people you mentioned and let them know that they could have possibly passed it onto you unknowingly.

Here's some information on both forms of Herpes Simplex, so you can have some added knowledge about what it is and how it's caused.

Did you get oral from that girl? It can spread like that. Cold sores are herpes simplex type 1.

And you don't need to sleep around to get STI's. I wish people would understand that fact. It's not something doctors say to make their patients feel better, it's true. Sure, if you sleep around, you have a higher chance of getting something but for herpes especially, all it takes sometimes is head from someone who gets cold sores. It really is a matter of bad luck more than anything else.

LegacyUser

the hardest thing about herpes is the stigma. These things don't discriminate, and while i understand that it is disheartening that you have been "good" and still got it, these things happen.

my other point is that there is no use wondering and being angry about who gave it to you. it's an extremely common virus that can be spread in a huge number of ways. People can harbour it without ever having an outbreak. It is most commonly transmitted during an active outbreak, but its possible to be transmitted during viral shedding, in which there are no symptoms. Ergo, you may have got it from somebody who completely didn't know they had it either. In fact, while most people would have an outbreak during the first few weeks after primary exposure to the virus (if they were to have an outbreak at all), it is possible that you have been exposed to the virus long before this outbreak, and either never had an outbreak before, or had a small unnoticeable one.

The important thing to remember is that it is the same virus as the common coldsore virus, and while coldsores can look and feel quite unpleasant, you don't become a social pariah if you have one. The same should be thought of genital herpes. It's unpleasant but shouldn't be anything more than a minor inconvenience, and in time, it won't be! honestly!