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I like her, but don't love her

  • 23-04-2010 1:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a 28 year old man she's the same age.
    We get on really really well, same humour, I like going places with her
    we can kiss and its nice, but I don't find myself gazing longingly at her,
    or dreaming about her, but then again I don't know if I'd ever feel that way about a woman

    I know the line "can we just be friends" is a cliché but maybe I should say it?

    This is so difficult, I might never find another woman like this but I don't see her in a sexual way, which is one of the things you should see in a girlfriend - well unless its a 50 year old marriage of convenience!

    Advice? pleaseeee


Comments

  • #2
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Well the obvious thing to do would be to break up with her. If you don't see her in a sexual way, then what's the point?

    Would you rather be with the wrong person or be by yourself? I know what i'd choose. You're only 28. To say that you'll never meet anyone else is ludicrous at best. I understand it's scary being by yourself. But at least that way, you are available for someone right for you.

    Also - this is not fair on the girl involved. At least be fair to her by calling it off.

    Do you really want to be friends with her or are you just trying not to hurt her feelings? If it's the latter, just make a clean break. No point in stringing her along.


  • #3
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    Yeh, if you don't fancy her then there is no relationship. Let her go, it's not fair to her.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Get out of it now while you still can i also don't feel the same about my boyfriend any more but havn't told him yet


  • #5
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Op, its best to end it.

    Lets just be down to earth and realistic here. You are right there has to be attraction. From the sounds of it thats not there. But more importanly thats an issue with you. Which is fair enough. There is two sides you should look at here, yours and hers.

    yours:
    dating someone you are not attracted to is settling. Obviously I can only go on what you wrote as I dont know you, but could it be that she "beats being single/on your own"?

    Hers:
    its not fair for you to date her if you are not that into her. Because what will happen if you meet someone you are really crazy about? ... you'll end it with her to start something new. you wouldnt like that been done to you. No one would.

    From the sounds of it you two get on great. So shes nice in your eyes. Would you really want to use the heart of a person who is nice to you?


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