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The 5 Hardest Questions For Men!

  • 22-04-2010 10:46PM
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭


    The 5 toughest questions for men are:

    1. What are you thinking about?
    2. Do you love me?
    3. Do I look fat?
    4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
    5. What would you do if I died?

    What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

    Question 1: What are you thinking about?

    The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

    This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

    a. Baseball.
    b. Football.
    c. How fat you are.
    d. How much prettier she is than you.
    e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    (Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

    Question 2: Do you love me?

    The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

    Inappropriate responses include:

    a. Oh Yeah, **** loads.
    b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
    c. That depends on what you mean by love.
    d. Does it matter?
    e. Who, me?

    Question 3: Do I look fat?

    The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

    Among the incorrect answers are:

    a. Compared to what?
    b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
    c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
    d. I’ve seen fatter.
    e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    Question 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

    Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

    Incorrect responses include:

    a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
    b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
    c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
    d. Define pretty..
    e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

    Question 5: What would you do if I died?

    A definite no-win question.

    (The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)


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