Travel nightmare, advice needed

LegacyUser

I'm travelling to Austrailia with a friend of mine next month. We're going to look for jobs and hopefully have fun for the summer. She's somebody I work with rather than someone I know very well. We both decided to go travelling together because we found ourselves with something in common after we both broke up with our boyfriends earlier this year and were in need of some cheering up!
Anyway it's emerging slowely but surely that we have totally different ideas for this trip. She seems to have endless cash and luxury is more important to her than getting work. I need to get work within the first few weeks or I'm up s**t creek!! Then, she got back with her boyfriend a month ago while I am still single. She seems a bit grumpy and annoyed about leaving him but our flights are booked and non-refundable etc. SHe says shes not interested in partying and doesn't seem to want to meet new people or go out.
I thought we had the same idea for a summer away but now I feel like it'll be a nightmare. I've been looking at places where we can get work on-line, any old work as there's not much around these days, but she's really picky and is acting really spoilt. I didn't know this about her when we booked the trip;-(
I have nobody else to go away with, I don't feel like I know her well enough to really express myself as I'm quite a shy person anyway. I want to enjoy myself but I'm scared we'll end up fighting for 3 months. We're both 22.
Any suggestions???

Jenneke87

Hi there,

I know you mentioned you´re a shy person but I definately think you need to sit down with her and have a good conversation about this otherwhise you´re in for three months of hell.

Tell her you need to find work regardless of what she wants otherwise you´ll be in trouble. It sounds like she´d rather stay home with her boyfriend but doesn´t have any other choice but going anyway since the flights are booked etc. She´d agreed to the trip as well, however, and her attitude is ruining the trip for you and she doesn´t have the right to do that. I think it´s really the best to be honest with her and tell her how you feel before things take a turn for the worst.

LegacyUser

Hey OP

I've gone travelling with someone that had left their boyfriend at home, and her attitude really stunk the entire trip - she kept complaining about missing him, was in a sour, bored mood teh entire time and no matter what I did to try and cheer her up, it was all pointless because I wasn't her boyfriend and that's all she wanted.

if you go with her, and she's already acting like this now (which is unfair and really rude to you), things will get worse, you'll be exhausted and stressed trying to manage her moods and eventually you'll resent her and probably things will end nasty..........this has been my experience of watching many friends/couples travel who haven't been on teh same tracks. it's also been my experience from travelling with peopel that had different ideas to me on how they wanted the trip to go.

having been through this - I can tell you now the best thing for both of you is for you to start looking at this trip as being solo. trust me, you WILL have a far better time, don't be scared (well, of course you will be but don't let it stop you).

what's worse - a day here and there alone, then meeting a bunch of like minded ppl who want to work hard, party hard, single and loving it or to stay stuck to a wet blanket and run around after her the whole trip, have no fun, feel bad for being single and on the prowl/having fun.....good luck and maybe just slide away from her, don't talk abotu the trip and eventually she'll get the hint.....maybe even book a hostel dorm for u and on the first day make it clear u want to talk to others

Chinafoot

sunflower27 wrote: »

Just because you go together doesnt mean you will stay there the whole time together. You are going to meet a lot of new people - and so will she - so don't be worried that you will be stuck bunking with her.

Perhaps have a chat to her and say honestly what your intentions are re working straight away.

Best of luck with it

This is the advice to take.

I went to Australia for a year 8 years ago. Like you the plan was to head off with a girl from work when her friends bailed on her and I had split up from a boyfriend. While we didn't have such differing views on the trip, she did invite other girls that I didn't know - one of whom I met in the airport on the day we were leaving! Two of her friends had very different idea for the trip to me and we clashed almost immediately. I soon decided that I wasn't wasting my time with these people as it would only destroy what is meant to be a wonderful experience. I decided to go my own way and it was the best thing I ever did. I made loads of friends that I'm still in touch with and visit and I made sure I was too busy enjoying myself to ever feel lonely. I was 19 at the time.

OP, you need to remember that this is your experience. Find yourself a job and let her find her own. If she doesn't want to work then let her do her own thing. Don't expect to do everything together either. Book yourself into a hostel when you get there and you will meet so many people (also, even if you don't smoke make sure you carry a lighter, its a great way to start a conversation!) and you'll be surprised where it takes you. You don't know her that well so in reality you have no obligation to this girl. You don't have to be tied to her.

If she wants to sit around pining for her fella and wasting the trip of a lifetime then let her. She'll regret it in the end. Just don't let it ruin your experience.