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Should we still be friends?

  • 21-04-2010 6:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok before I start I just need to say that I know friendships change and develop, and not always for the better just so I don't get heaps of replies telling me just that.

    I had plenty of friends in primary school (most of whom are still my friends now) but when I went to second year none of them went to the smae one as me and I had a VERY hard time making friends. When I was in about 4th yr me and one of the other girls who'd I'd always been relativly friendly with became very close and everything looked up from there. We were practically inseperable, we both completly came out of our shells and left the school as two of the most popular girls in our year.
    We both went to the same college but didn't live together as I didn't get campus and she did. We still hung out loads for the first while but I tried to give her space to make friends with the girls she lied with. Then I dropped out. I stayed in Dublin, looking for a job for a while and during this time we saw much less of eachother. It started to worry but didn't act on it. After a few weeks I decided to go and work with a relatie in France for the rest of the year. I was worried that my friends would forget me (esp. my best friend) but beofre I left we had a heart to heart and she asurred me that would never happen.
    When i was in France I barely heard from her. I sent her loads of email but if I was lucky enough to get a reply it was mainly just a huge apology followed by "no, no news here. Sounds like you're having a blast can't wait to see you." Yet when I got back towards the end of the summer everything was back to normal.
    This year she lives with her best friend from college and they are inseperable. Don't get me wrong I was very jelous at first but I got over it 'cause even if we didn't see as much of eachother we were still just as close. But then she stopped making an effort. She'll invite me round to hers and get pissy if I won't go but has never been to mind, and won't even meet me for coffee unless she's already in college (despite the fact she lives in town anyway) and she doesn't like to do anything with me if my new friends form college this year are there too. Yet, like with the France thing, when we do meet up/talk its the same as it always was. We didn't speak at all over the last three weeks even though I text her last sunday and she never replied but today she left me a comment on facebook saying we need to meet up. But I'm not sure if we should...I'm not sure I should even reply (despite the fact I know that's really juvenille)...what do you think? What would you do?
    Thanks for reading, i know it's super long.


Comments

  • #2
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    I think you are relying too much on this one person and putting too much pressure on her. You need to meet NEW friends, and not rely on this one good friend that you have met, as it is very rare that your life (location wise) will follow exactly the path of your primary school friends....

    In short, work on making new friends.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    op here dont mean to sound like a b*tch but it seems like you didn't read my post at all and just thought you'd reply anyway. We're not friends from primary school, weren't even friends untill we'd known each other 2-3 yrs. also, i'm not relying on her, if I was my social life would have just not existed in the last month or so, it's just that we were so close I don't want to let her go but niehter do I want to be friends with someone who doesn't give a **** about me or our friendship


  • #4
    ziedth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,081 ✭✭✭ziedth


    My .02 cent op?

    People just grow apart, it's part of life. I had fairly good friends in secondry school that I would have done anything for bur as time went on we all just stopped making an effort.

    If you feel really down about it I'd suggest maybe having a chat with your friend but I can imagine it will be all good intentions till you both inevitably fall back into this habit and drift apart.

    Keep with your current friends IMO, still meet your old friend for coffee and all if your both into it.


  • #5
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    idunnou wrote: »
    op here dont mean to sound like a b*tch but it seems like you didn't read my post at all and just thought you'd reply anyway.

    For the record, I did read ALL of what you admitted is a "super long" post, so forgive me if I dont remember every detail. I KNOW you werent friends in primary school, I was making an analogy. good luck.


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