Showing Wedding dress to bridesmaids/mother-in-law

ShellOS3

Hi all,
Was just wondering what the usual story is when the wedding dress arrives? Is it traditional to show the dress to the bridesmaids/mother in law or does it just depend on each bride?
I know its up to me but would just like some opinions..
Thanks

The Lovely Muffin

I guess it depends on the bride.

When two of my cousins got married, 'cousin 1' showed the dress to her female family members. 'cousin 2' only showed her mother.

Personally, if I was getting married I'd show the dress to my mother and grandmother, that would be it. (I'm single, btw)

But if your showing the dress to people before the wedding, you'd need to know those people aren't going to drop any details about the dress to/around your OH, as I presume you don't know him knowing any details about the dress until he see's it on the big day?

Just my 2c worth lol.:)

tinkerbell

Show it to your mother but not anybody else. I think if I was getting married, I'd show just show my mom the dress.

BC

I'll be showing mine to my mam and bridesmaids. They all came shopping with me so know what it looks like anyway.

dollybird2

I showed mine to my mam, sisters and future mother in law, but not to any cousins or the other bridesmaids. It's entirely personal choice.

aviendha

personal choice... I'm showing it to anyone who's foolish enough to hang around long enough for me to whip out a picture on my mobile!! Any excuse to look at it again and again... besides I think that they'll just see a white dress, whereas on the day, with the veil and the accessories etc.. they'll see a completely different picture!

Toots

My mum, dad, and my bridesmaids have seen mine. I also showed my MIL and my FIL, and my OH's sisters, who I'm very close to.

Heineken Helen

It was my mother-in-law and sister-in-law who came shopping with me for the dress. I didn't realise you're not supposed to show people... where's the fun in that? I showed the pics to loadsa girls at work who won't be there too. I emailed the pics to my sister for her opinion. They got to see a sample dress pinned on to me. I didn't have my veil, my tiara, my shoes, my hair and make up done... they didn't see the final image so it will still be a surprise.

hazeler

I showed my dress to my Mom and one of my sisters. The other sister doesn't live near and I refused to take any pics of it to send to her... maybe harsh but she'll see it next time she's over!! Not showing it to anyone else...

I know a bride who went shopping with her FH for her dress. :eek: No-one else say it until the day... My FH will not even get a hint of what mine is like... but it depends on you, show it to as many, or as little as you like but the more people that see it, I think, the less *gasps* you have on the day, even with all your extra get up!!

aviendha

hazeler wrote: »

the more people that see it, I think, the less *gasps* you have on the day, even with all your extra get up!!

ah I wouldn't agree with that at all, seeing a grainy small photo of a girl in a white dress on a mobile phone, and then comparing that to the full look, walking up the aisle to entrance music on the day.. completely different in my opinion..

as an attendee at a lot of weddings, I rarely *gasp* - yes it's lovely to see the bride so happy, and all dolled up, but it's the suspense of "the dress" isn't something that keeps me excited for the wedding day
then again, I'm dreading the whole walk up the aisle, and the gawping looks, so maybe I'm looking to avoid any potential gaspees!!

Heineken Helen

aviendha wrote: »

ah I wouldn't agree with that at all, seeing a grainy small photo of a girl in a white dress on a mobile phone, and then comparing that to the full look, walking up the aisle to entrance music on the day.. completely different in my opinion..

as an attendee at a lot of weddings, I rarely *gasp* - yes it's lovely to see the bride so happy, and all dolled up, but it's the suspense of "the dress" isn't something that keeps me excited for the wedding day
then again, I'm dreading the whole walk up the aisle, and the gawping looks, so maybe I'm looking to avoid any potential gaspees!!

lol, that's what I was thinking too... I wasn't expecting any gasps anyway cos I really don't like being the centre of attention. I plan on looking nice of course but I don't think having shown it to a few people will make a difference. Besides, how do you people get second or third opinions? I'm terrible at making decisions so, even though I knew the dress was the one, I wanted to make sure other people didn't find it hideous... cos it's a bit different! On the day I guess it's only my opinion that counts but I don't want everyone putting down the dress behind my back.

tatli_lokma

hazeler wrote: »

I know a bride who went shopping with her FH for her dress. :eek: No-one else say it until the day... My FH will not even get a hint of what mine is like... but it depends on you, show it to as many, or as little as you like but the more people that see it, I think, the less *gasps* you have on the day, even with all your extra get up!!

it really is each to their own. I initially went looking with my hubby to be - mainly because we were living abroad at the time, and his was the one opinion above others where we were living that I could trust! in the end I bought my dress here (far too many merangues when we were abroad, and no matter how hard I tried to make them understand that I absolutely DID NOT WANT A FULL SKIRT, 99% of what they showed me had, guess what....? a full skirt :rolleyes:) So I don't think its so shocking to go with your H2B - each B&G will do what feels right for them, and not everyone puts so much importance on the dress. Each to their own.

When I bought at home my hubby to be was still abroad finishing up some details, so I went with my sister, because I trust her opinion.
I didn't show many people mainly because the dress stayed in the shop til a week before the big day.

Gasps and ohhs and ahhs were not my aim - my aim was for my husband to turn around and be amazed - no one elses opinion was a factor.

OP, if showing the dress around gets you all excited and happy, then do it. If keeping it a secret adds to your excitement do that - whatever makes you happy, basically! there are no hard and fast rules.

hazeler

Ooooohhh... so its just me thats an "attention hog" then!!! lol... I expect everyone invited to turn toward me, gobsmacked, drenched in tears as I sashay down the aisle, proclaiming they have never believed in angels until today!! (I'm joking- just in case!!!:p)

For me it's all about the suspense and the secret. I am confident in what I choose for myself so I rarely look for second opinions on what I wear. I guess thats why I like the secret, its the one thing he will never see until the day! But as Cincikchick said, each to their own! If it makes you happy and you dont mind who in the world sees it, then show it off!

SeekUp

At first I was secretive about the dress, but then I felt kind of silly about it. If someone asks what it looks like, I don't mind showing them a photo. I don't think any of his family has seen it yet, but I'd certainly show it to them if they ask. The only person who I'd care about not seeing it beforehand is the guy who will be at the end of the aisle.

hazeler wrote: »

. . . but it depends on you, show it to as many, or as little as you like but the more people that see it, I think, the less *gasps* you have on the day, even with all your extra get up!!

That seems like a lot of pressure to me! I'm trying to stay away from expecting certain reactions from people, or even expecting myself to feel certain things on the day. If people gasp, that's fine, and if they just smile and say they're happy for me, that's fine, too!

RIRI

aviendha wrote: »

personal choice... I'm showing it to anyone who's foolish enough to hang around long enough for me to whip out a picture on my mobile!! Any excuse to look at it again and again... besides I think that they'll just see a white dress, whereas on the day, with the veil and the accessories etc.. they'll see a completely different picture!

lol - me too! I just got a call to say that my dress arrived this morning! Am so excited to get home & see it (I ordered it from China). There'll be little or no work done here today

sanj2408

I showed my parents, my sisters and OHs sisters and mother and like a previous poster, whoever hangs around long enough to see a pic on my phone but im not showing anyone who might spill to OH. Although it'd prob go over his head anyway!...... But it depends really on your relationship with them I suppose

Heineken Helen

another similar question... I just may have found my bridesmaid dresses BUT now I'm wondering... am I supposed to consult with him on them or are they too a secret?

tinkerbell

Heineken Helen wrote: »

another similar question... I just may have found my bridesmaid dresses BUT now I'm wondering... am I supposed to consult with him on them or are they too a secret?

I wouldn't think so, your fiancé ain't gonna be too bothered how your bridesmaids will look, it'll be YOU who he will be looking at So no, I don't think you need to keep bridesmaid dresses a secret! Just the wedding dress if you wish

Heineken Helen

tinkerbell wrote: »

I wouldn't think so, your fiancé ain't gonna be too bothered how your bridesmaids will look, it'll be YOU who he will be looking at So no, I don't think you need to keep bridesmaid dresses a secret! Just the wedding dress if you wish

cool although I'm not sure I WANT to show him cos I don't think he'll like the 'idea' of it... even though I KNOW he'd love it on the day... but he's a man of opinion unfortunately

Eeeee I'm so excited... it's starting to come together... finally got my bridesmaids to come together and say they like something!

The Big Red Button

Personally I'd only show the dress to whoever had come shopping with me for it - which will probably be three people at most, i.e. my "dude-of-honour", my female best friend, and my mother.

I'm only planning on have a very small wedding anyways - just immediate family and close friends - so, if I went showing it to many others, no one would be "surprised" or whatever on the day.

As for showing those who won't be coming to the wedding and who want to see it ... well, I'd rather just wait and let them see it properly in the wedding photos, when I have my hair and makeup and everything done!

I don't know what the actualy traditions etc are in relation to this, but in my opinion you should just go with whatever you're comfortable with yourself. If you'd rather keep it as a surprise, stick to that and don't let people talk you into showing it to them ... but equally, if you want to paste pics of it on Facebook for everyone to see, then go for it!