Morphine addiction?

LegacyUser

After my father died of cancer, his bag of un-used medication came to my attention. I had never used any opiates outside of a hospital environment priot to this, but used ground-up Oxycontin @ dosages of 20 -> 60mg (insufflated) to get trhough the funeral and the days to come, until the Oxy was all gone, over 5 days. No comedown or untoward effects in the week to follow. Tasty stuff.

Recently, I was able to get my hands on a number of 500ml (1 gram) bottles of morphine sulphate solution from the same batch of medicine, and have been using it recreationally. 80-100 mg over the course of a sitting. This has been for the past 20 days or so, during leave from work. Saturday night I slept well after dosing all day, Sunday I cut down to morning, noon and nighttime. I stupidly found myself taking 20mg to help sleep at 4am Monday, and 20mg on Monday morning to smooth out work. Of course, found myself during the day fitting in 5 or 6 20ml shots. Pulled a sickie today, can do so tomoro but will have to show up Thursday ready to rock, or be sent to the medic (not an option).

Has anyone any advice on how to break the cycle, quickly? I have enough to last another month of every-day shots, but want to shelf this for future, special/occasionale use. It was stupid to get into this deep a hole, I know, but what can I do to stop the horrors between 9 and 5? On Monday, I got through work high. I need to be straight on Thursday. I've locked the M away, but how to deal with the wandering mind, the bowels, etc for Thurs?

Looking back over this, I realise it's a hard one to answer aside from "Stop doing the M and deal with it", but what can help? Nurofen and Immodium? I guess I just need instructions, I feel pretty helpless - thanks

D-Generate

By the term "locked away" I presume you mean flushed down the toilet? There is no reason to keep them unless you have a feeling that you might want them again. Since you haven't decided to dump them then it means in your mind there is a part of you not able to separate yourself from them.

If you are fortunate enough to be in the situation where you wouldn't have ready access to the pills through your social circle then I suggest you just dump them now and go cold turkey.

Nevyn

Take the drugs and go to your dr with them.
Hand them over and explain you had been usng them, get the dr to check you out and see how you are and ask for help.

Opiate addiction is very hard to kick and can take over your life, seems like you are using it to not deal with the grief of your Dad dying, also ask the dr if he can refer you to grief counselling.

LegacyUser

I should bin the M, rather than just taper and use it when I feel like I need it... this has all been a stupid episode, I do have my head to sort out; I'll take Thursday as it comes, that doesn't seem important now. I don't know what I expected by posting at all, but appreciate the level headed advice.

Thanks, I'll get by. Ah my heads a mess. I'm getting lost scratching an itch that isn't what I think it is. stupid move, I should take a step back and see how I feel straight.

god I feel stupid now.

Overheal

Look, I've used recreational drugs to cope with a loss, but marijuana and opiates are two different beasts. Thats the kind of thing you need help getting off. Professional, Medical help.

You want them to stop the Horrors between 9 and 5? What horrors? Life?

Coping with Death is a normal part of life, like losing your virginitity, getting a car, raising a family, falling in love, building a career. You're going to get hung up on this Single Aspect of life to the detriment of everything else? You cannot keep running from it. Eventually you will need to go through the stages of grief. And the longer you drag it out the harder it will get. You're merely delaying the inevitable.

Maybe in some weird way you think that taking your dad's medication connects you to him, but, its not right. Its not what he would have wanted from you; Its not what any father wants for their kid. Those drugs were given to your father only because of Terminal Illness; they aren't a cure for anything, and they aren't meant for a healthy person.

You need to let them go. And don't be afraid to ask for help. Im sorry to hear about your dad.

Nevyn

You made a mistake, we all do it's called being human.
I would say stupid is repeating the same behviour and expecting a different out come.

"the horrors" are what opiate addicts refer to as the twitchy effects of withdrawal.

Honestly going to the dr is the best bet they will be able to make suggestions which will help with the rough edges and you can give your system a chance by drinking your two litres of water a day and trying to get your 5 a day fruit wise, even a smoothie can make the difference.

LegacyUser

You are a drug addict. Deal with it now before it gets out of hand. It will

LegacyUser

thanks all

I'm not feeling well right now, need some sleep I think, going to go and speak to someone tomorrow. I haven't really slept in ages it seems. My teeth are sore. I'm not going to be able to do anything until I get some proper sleep.

It feels better to have a plan. My family doctor is a friend, has been our doctor since before I was born. I don't know if that will make it easier or harder? Not for now to worry about.

Thanks again, it helps.

no point making it any harder by feeling hard on myslef - i can know this, but it's easier to say than to do. Anyway, bed

Nevyn

As bad as the horrors will be in the morning the sooner you get help the better,
please be strong tomorrow and go to the dr. The withdrawls will be a lot worse with more exposure.

If they are your family dr then they will know what you have been through with your Dad and will be wanting what is best for you, esp if they have been seeing you for years.

Well you don't need us telling you this is a bad idea. This is how massive 20 year addiction/ruined life etc stories start. Get it sorted fast if you don't want that to happen to you.