A strange one.. involving sex

LegacyUser

Hey guys..
I was in a road traffic accident last year that left me with multiple nerve problems, all of which im working through. Im a single young guy who used to be quite successful with the ladies.
I feel im well enough now to go back out onto the scene and start back how i was. Theres just one problem - My penis.
I have lost a large part of the sensitivity it once had which makes erections hard(no pun intended) to sustain, however, its possible. I have been prescribed viagra for this anyways so its not the biggest concern.

My problem however is that im finding erections painful, and masturbation even more so. Naturally, im a bit concerned about how i would perform with a woman, especially if i was in pain. I have a meeting with a neurologist and urologist in a few months time but after a year of no sex, i cant wait that long.

Do you think i should come clean to the woman before and say something like "Look, i had an accident last year so go easy" or just ignore the subject and endure it? I have also considered mixing other drugs with the viagra but doubt this is a good idea
Also there is some damage to my penis, most noticebly the hole at the top is torn, not something which is easily noticeable, however, if oral sex was performed im sure she would notice its not an average penis. Would a girl be a bit freaked out by this?

kjl

GP = Viagra

sexdwarf

kjl wrote: »

GP = Viagra

He's already said that he was prescribed this

OP I would definitely tell a prospective partner, it won't be enjoyable at all if you're enduring pain and she's oblivious to the fact.

No understanding girl will mind at all that there is some damage, so don't worry about that. I certainly wouldn't think twice about it. Certainly don't start mixing drugs, it might leave you feeling very ill...or worse.

Definitely just be matter-of-fact and say that you were in a serious accident and you need a gentle touch. If I thought I was causing a man pain, I'd be mortified.

cafecolour

I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'd def check with the urologist first before having sex. You could end up doing more damage and extending the healing process if you aren't careful.

i.e. Viagra massively sends blood flow to the penis. Scars that could be forming/healing in a flaccid state could then be stretched in an erect state (thus the pain), and possibly reopened with vigorous sexual activity.

I wouldn't worry about your penis not looking 'normal' though. 'Normal' has a very large range in that regards. If she says anything, just say that you were in an accident and had some damage.

Miss Fluff

sexprob wrote: »

Do you think i should come clean to the woman before and say something like "Look, i had an accident last year so go easy" or just ignore the subject and endure it?

Any decent girl would appreciate that you have told them and go that little bit easier on you. There is no point in "enduring" anything, you don't want a situation where you have the shag of the century but end up with irreperable damage either! Be honest without making a huge deal of it, practice what positions suit best for maximum pleasure but with minimum discomfort and ease your self back in to it gently (excuse the pun:)). Glad to hear you are on the mend.

Communicationb

Viagra is not the only ED medication out there. It was the first and most well known but it is certainly not the best.

Nevyn

Communicationb the topic at hand is how the OP will bring up the topic of his injuries with a new partner not the variations in prescription medications.

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
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Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

LegacyUser

Hi Op,
I was seeing someone who had been in a car accident.
He had scarring which was noticeable when naked and he also had damage to his back and neck which obviously became an issue during sex.

But he told me upfront and we just worked around it. Knowing that certain positions were tiring or painful for him helped me to understand. If I hadn't know I might have been worrying that he wasn't into me or didn't find me attractive etc.
Like if he were on top he might just get too tired or it would get too painful and he'd have to stop. If I didn't know the reason I'd worry he wasn't enjoying it because I wasn't doing it right. But all he had to do was say "can we switch" and I knew the reasons and I'd let him lie down and take a little break

Hitgirl

I don't think any decent girl would have a problem with it at all, so dont be worried about that. I definately think you should tell a girl about it before being with them though. If there were any problems, at least then she would understand why, rather than maybe thinking it was her, or something she did. I would most def rather be told, once she knows, you can work around it, but if she's oblivious to it, it could cause problems and you'd just be leave the girl wondering why!
Sex should be something that you enjoy rather than endure, so do everything you can so as not to make it a chore for youself! Also, since you haven't done it since your accident, you dont know what to expect, you may not have as much a problem as you think, and worrying about it wont do you any good.

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Defo tell the girl, it would be silly not to. No girl I know would think less of you for going through a such a horrible thing, quite the oppisite in fact. My BF broke his spine in January, sex was very sore at first for him so I did 95% of the work, we found ways to lessen the pain and it's back to being the delight it was before he broke his spine but for god's sake take it slow. The last thing you want is more damage and for god's sake if it does hurt STOP, you'll find that the thoughts of a guy having sex with you when they're in pain/don't want to is completely stomach turning for girls (same with guys I'd say). I know you're dying for a shag but for god's sakes do it with someone with some sense, don't just grab some idiot randomer that doesn't know what they're doing. Also for the love of god don't drink first, you need to listen to your body on this one, pain is your body's way of telling you it can't do something so don't drown it out with booze. Also it's very dangerous to mix viagra and booze.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you meet a sexy, horny, nurse/doctor.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

When you find the girl, tell her the truth. If she runs a mile - then consider
yourself lucky to escape from such a shallow person.