How do you know if your still in love with someone?

LegacyUser

As the title suggests is there any way of knowing if you still love someone it sounds like a weird question i know but i'm so confused, i'm in a realationship of 4 yrs with a guy i really care about but over the last while i've been getting fed up with it i keep thinking is this all there is? He doesnt really show me any interest men on the street show me more interest than he does, if he asked me to marry him i would probably run because it just looks like it would be a life of misery with him, we got together very young and maybe we're growing apart i don't know really, i'm really not sure if i love him anymore maybe i do in a small way.

Any advice is welcome thanks

Peggypeg

You sound like I did just before I broke up with my boyfriend 4 years ago. From the way you're talking you know it's dead but you haven't found the courage to end it. It'll come along any day now and you'll finish it and feel way better afterwards, I was singing "freebird" to myself for months afterwards. Put yourself and what you want first, don't feel guilty for saying you're not happy, you deserve to be madly in love, 2 months after I broke up with the ex I met my soul mate and I've never been happier. If you have to ask "am i still in love?" that means you're not.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

I'm in the same position as you are now, I've thought about breaking up but I supose I end up thinking "sure isn't this just what every relationship gets like after a few years?" and I hang on in there.

It's hard because there isn't really anything wrong with our relationship and we get on well, just that feeling isn't there anymore.

lol I don't think I'm in much position to give you advice, since I don't seem to be taking my own! But I know myself and my partner will break-up sometime in the future but I just don't think I'm ready to let the relationship go yet and still live in hope that I'll get that strong "in love" feeling back.

Peggypeg

Hey,

Everyone's different but I tried for over a year to get that feeling back, I think once it's gone it's gone, as sad as that is. I'm saying this coz I wasted so much time on the ex, listen to yourself, if your inner monologue tells you it's over, it is. I found myself thinking of reasons why I couldn't break up with him in the last few months of the realationship, probably because in my heart I wanted out but my head was afraid to end it, if you know what I mean.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

thanks for all the advice peggy if you dont mind me asking how did you finally get the courage to end it ? I felt unhappy with the realationship for over a year but i've stuck in there like we dont have any real problems so i feel bad for thinking of ending it.

krudler

Every relationship settles into a rut at some stage, but they can be worked on, sometimes its futile and you wind up breaking up anyway, but at least you wont question not trying for the rest of your life. You say he doesnt show you interest, do you live together?that can be a major factor in things growing stale, you dont appreciate each other when you see each other every day all the time. For me and my missus time apart is as important as time together, she has her hobbies and interests and I mine, we both go out seperately with our own friends (and all together at times) and take holidays and trips away without each other. It means we appreciate our time together even more, I miss her like crazy when shes gone for a few days and vice versa.
we're together almost 3 years and I still get excited and want to impress her when we meet up, I still make sure I always look good for her and put in the effort, some couples I know dont care if they look like they just rolled out of bed when they see their OH.
If its a case of you putting in the effort and he isnt then bring it up, you've got nothing to lose by saying anything if you think things are winding down, you never know, maybe things will turn around.

LegacyUser

krudler wrote: »

Every relationship settles into a rut at some stage, but they can be worked on, sometimes its futile and you wind up breaking up anyway, but at least you wont question not trying for the rest of your life. You say he doesnt show you interest, do you live together?that can be a major factor in things growing stale, you dont appreciate each other when you see each other every day all the time. For me and my missus time apart is as important as time together, she has her hobbies and interests and I mine, we both go out seperately with our own friends (and all together at times) and take holidays and trips away without each other. It means we appreciate our time together even more, I miss her like crazy when shes gone for a few days and vice versa.
we're together almost 3 years and I still get excited and want to impress her when we meet up, I still make sure I always look good for her and put in the effort, some couples I know dont care if they look like they just rolled out of bed when they see their OH.
If its a case of you putting in the effort and he isnt then bring it up, you've got nothing to lose by saying anything if you think things are winding down, you never know, maybe things will turn around.

Yes we live together and everything we do involves eachother i really think we are too attached to eachother we don't really have any friends that live near us.I've tried for ages to tell him but its like he doesnt care he's happy to let things die between us i think