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Vladimir Putin and his Dadaist Carrot
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19-04-2010 3:01am#1Episode 1: Carrots have a skewed sense of justice
"I am hungry."
"Children look tasty! Eat one!"
"Is ok! I just will have little bite!"
"Help! The president of Russia is trying to EAT me!"
"Now I am on run from police for being cannibal. And I am still hungry. Now I must eat horse. Why do I listen to you?"
"How was I to know it was crime? You slaughter and feed upon my people daily!"0
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Episode 2: Carrots have a bad sense of perspective
"Carrot my friend, I often wonder: Why are you so small?"
"I am not small, I am far away, is big difference!"
"You are making joke, I do not believe you. You stand in front of my microwave, microwave is only on other side of room."
"No, is true, come and look at the lake in your sink! But be careful not to fall in!"
"Very well, I will have a look but if this is bad joke then AAARGH I TRIP! CARROT, CATCH ME!"
"You are too big! I guess you were right after all. I apologise."
*SPLASH*0 -
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Episode 3: Carrots are not very romantic
"I do not like sorting through the mail. Bills, bills, bills! Nothing but bil- Wait, what is this?"
"'Roses are red, violets are blue'... Oh my! This is Valentine's Day card! Someone is love me! Hooray!"
"Oh my, this is a very naughty letter! My secret admirer has filthy mind. I like!"
"Oh my! Secret admirer says she has included picture of naughty bits on next page! I must remove my trousers first, easier to have sexy times! Now, to look at naughty... "
"XXX"
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EPISODE 4
Carrot. I am going to make you an offer you can't resist.
You. Me. Island. What do you say?
Did I mention there is only one correct answer???
Ah goodie. Well done carrot. You make me happy.
Hang on a sec. You wonna do WHAT??
I didnt think so. Goodbye carrot
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I have enough of you carrot. I must kill you now.
I am not ouside, I am in kitchen.
This cannot be? Your lies will be punished with iron fist. Holding gun.
No really, I am in kitchen. You see poorly. Remember lake?
Is good point you make carrot. Still you must die.
But carrot good for eyesight.
Ok carrot. I let you live. For now. 0
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