Like the brother of the guy I'm seeing.

LegacyUser

So I have a problem and I feel really guilty about it and can't think clearly.

I've been seeing a guy and he's lovely. Only problem is I REALLY like his older brother. A little background: I met the older brother first through work, we flirted a bit and I developed a crush on him. As we work in different departments we tend to meet or be around each other briefly and both of us are usually busy so havin't time to talk.

Through the same company I met his brother. He's in another department. We had more time to chat and he asked me out and we've been meeting up a good bit.

Anyway, for one of the meet ups we were going somewhere with his friends so he said to meet at his house (still lives at home). So I went to the house and and met his Mam in the kitchen then she gestured behind me and says "This is Alan's brother John.". I nearly fainted. I couldn't believe it. He looked shocked aswell and it felt quite awkward. Out of all the people in Dublin HE has to be his brother.

I tried to not think about it but I caught myself staring at the older brother while we were all watching TV. And I get that stomach dropping feeling when he comes into the room. The "oh my god he's here!" feeling.

I really can't think straight. I like the younger brother but I never got/get that stomach dropping feeling when I see him like I do with the older one. It's so wrong. My heads a mess. Appreciate any advice or suggestions as to what to do!

Donkey Oaty

If you split up with the younger brother now, you will be doing yourself, the younger brother and the older brother a favour.

I can't see any good whatsoever coming out of the situation you are in.

Ickle Magoo

The younger brother clearly isn't doing it for you - it's not fair on anyone to keep flogging that dead horse. The longer things continue, the more attached Alan will become and the less likely it is John will ever want anything to happen between you. He may already see you as Alan's gf/ex and so no-go territory but ending things with Alan asap can only work in your favour.

Best of luck

Miss Fluff

Not really sure on what advice you're looking for as I'm sure you know that you can't act on it now that you are dating his brother. Even if you're to split up now, it's probably not that advisable to cop off with the older brother at any stage either. I think the best thing to so is to stop seeing the guy you're seeing, you said yourself you're not feeling it so no point in taking it further when your heart is not in it.

G-Money

What I don't understand is why you didn't go after the older brother when you first met him.

Anyway, the fact that he is this guy's brother rules out anything ever happening. If this guy isn't doing it for you, it's best to just end it and move on and forget about the both of them.

There's no chance of you ending up with the older brother now so it's best to just forget about it.

viclemronny

Have to agree with the majority opinion here. You can't hook up with the brother, even if you break up with the one you're seeing.

You should probably stop seeing the one you're dating too as it'll just get at you seeing his brother and as you say there's the same attraction there anyway.

The best you can do for your own head is to just walk away from the situation so there's no hard feelings everywhere. Thankfully, this is one of those situations where the best thing for you is the best thing for everyone.

Best to just put it down to a few ok-ish dates and leave it at that.

jimmycrackcorm

viclemronny wrote: »

Have to agree with the majority opinion here. You can't hook up with the brother, even if you break up with the one you're seeing.

I remember lots of anecdotal stories of people who have ended up marrying the sibling of the person they first went out with. Of course it all comes down to how amicable the ending of the initial relationship is.

It's not something that occurs as much nowadays because of the increased mobility of people but it's nto something to be ruled out completely.

Denerick

Just dump the fella you're currently with, you're stringing him along as it is and its not fair.

amybabes

you can't help how you feel!!

sucks for the younger guy. you are prob better off cutting ties with him, if its meant to be with the older bro then it will.........who knows, maybe seeing you with his little brother might spur him on to ask you out,

you must feel lousy and horrible, but at the end of the day, you can't ignore how you feel. Saying that, i've almost done some rash things before and now i look back and shudder, thinking THANK GOD i didnt!

Good luck, not an easy one! x