A problem with money

LegacyUser

So I have been living at home, working full time and paying my mother every week in housekeeping and bills. I have recently moved out and I am renting however my mother is still chasing me for money. I by no means earn a huge amout - 380 a week - so about average I'd say. And with this I have rent and bills and am budgeting like mad in the hope of saving just a little bit wheather its 20, 30, 40, 50 a week its still something. The situation at home - four more siblings - some work, others don't - none of them contribute. My mother has a part time job, mortgage paid, dad died when we were younger.

tinkerbell

No offense to your mother, but you are no longer living at home so I do not think you should still have to contribute to her monthly bills as well as your own. That's her problem now, not yours.

tenchi-fan

€380 is just about enough to pay rent and bills.

You might even be able to save a few grand during the year for a holiday and a rainy day fund. If you pay your mother even €20 a week you are seriously affecting your ability to do that - meaning you'll end up leaving yourself just working to survive.

Your mother obviously became dependent on your contribution while your siblings selfishly lived it up at your and your mother's expense. If your siblings are students there might be a bit of an argument towards helping your mother out. But if they're employed or claiming benefits there is no reason each of them can't contribute towards their share of household bills.

rainbowtrout

No you don't need to give your mother any more money. You're not earning much above minimum wage from what you said and money doesn't go far when you have rent and bills to pay. If you don't live at home anymore you don't need to contribute. Your mother should be asking your other siblings that live at home and work to contribute instead. They should have been doing it all along.

And if you were to keep contributing, how long would it go on? Would you ever be able to save money for yourself. Look after yourself, nobody else will.

If she asks again, just be firm and tell her you have rent and your own bills to pay and cannot give her any money. You do not need to tell her you are saving, that is none of her business, and could possibly be used against you in a 'well, if you can afford to save you can afford to contribute type way'

JuliusCaesar

bank.of.daughter wrote: »

The situation at home - four more siblings - some work, others don't - none of them contribute. .

Time the the working ones started then. And your mother can work more hours if the youngest is old enough. The family at home is HER responsibility.

Exile 1798

Tell your mum that you shouldn't have to pay her for anything as you live independently. If she doesn't accept this argument on principle then give her the practical reality, that you can't afford to.

Ickle Magoo

bank.of.daughter wrote: »

So I have been living at home, working full time and paying my mother every week in housekeeping and bills. I have recently moved out and I am renting however my mother is still chasing me for money. I by no means earn a huge amout - 380 a week - so about average I'd say. And with this I have rent and bills and am budgeting like mad in the hope of saving just a little bit wheather its 20, 30, 40, 50 a week its still something. The situation at home - four more siblings - some work, others don't - none of them contribute. My mother has a part time job, mortgage paid, dad died when we were younger.

While I sympathise with your mothers position, she should be chasing the people who use the utilities in her house and eat the food she buys for contributions, if you cost her nothing then there is no reason why you should have to pay for those things. A voluntary contribution would be nice if you could afford it but you can't & she's just going to have to accept that.

How does she justify chasing someone who no longer lives there for money while people who actually stay in the house make no contribution?!

Denerick

This is going to be controversial, but I'll say it anyway. My father sent money home to his parents until his mid 30s. My mother did the same. Most of your parent's generation, unless they were middle class or higher, did the same. It has long been a fact of life in Ireland and I think it was a good tradition which died off with the Celtic Tiger.

I know it might be tight for you OP, but it was tight for my mother and father too. Maybe its part of a change in attitudes in this country again, but sending money home to the folks has long been a fact of life, a vital rod in the community of this nation, which died off with the oncoming of the Celtic Tiger (Because by and large our parents didn't need the money from the kids)

How is your mums financial situation? Perhaps she genuinely needs the help and I don't think its completely unreasonable to expect the children to help out the parents when times are tough.

tenchi-fan

Denerick wrote: »

This is going to be controversial, but I'll say it anyway. My father sent money home to his parents until his mid 30s. My mother did the same. Most of your parent's generation, unless they were middle class or higher, did the same. It has long been a fact of life in Ireland and I think it was a good tradition which died off with the Celtic Tiger.

I know it might be tight for you OP, but it was tight for my mother and father too.

Even hear of the saying "feather your own nest first"?

What you're suggesting is fine if you already have a small mortgage, nice house, car and your income is in the mid-€30k's.

You ask what is the op's financial situation. What do you think? The op is actually earning less than €20k and I'm guessing it's not going to shoot up any time soon!! She is in the tax bracket. Private healthcare is expensive. I doubt she has much discretionary income (op, correct me if I'm wrong!)

Ickle Magoo

Denerick wrote: »

Perhaps she genuinely needs the help and I don't think its completely unreasonable to expect the children to help out the parents when times are tough.

I'd agree with that in part if the OP hadn't already stated there are several working siblings who do not contribute still living in the house with her mother...