I'm usually really reliable

LegacyUser

but I'm afraid I opend my gob lately and did some bad damage.

Usually I'm the one that people go to for advice or with something to get off their chests because although I like a good goss about celebs etc I never ever talk about friends behind their backs, and i gues I've been in a few positions of responsibility over the years where confidentiality was paramount.

A while ago I noticed a guy we'll call him "Jack" was going through a hard time with something I'd gone through also- now he hadn't said it to me but from having been there I saw the signs and was worried. Now Jacks not a good mate but he's friends with my brother (who now lives abroad) and my other friend "Declan" so I would know him from around for some time.

I kinda made my thoughts known to Declan at one point a while ago and Declan confimed it - but reallly reluctantly- it seems like Jack confided in him and he only told me as he knew I'd be discret and also perhaps just be there if he needed me (as Declan works long hours etc and isn't around much).
So I got sort of friendly with Jack though other mates (not intentionally we just happened to spend more time together) and he eventually said it to me as if it was something of the past (which I hope it is). Anyway we were drinking together one night and I kind of mentioned it to him, proabaly no in the most coherent or proper manner as we were after a few pints and my memory is foggy but I distincltly remeber rattleing on about what a good mate Declan was for not saying anything (basically letting n that he did) and obviously from the way I was talking he was well aware that I knew far more than the jagged outlines he gave me.

The two of them went away for the weekend yesterday together and I'm sick worrying that there coud be hell over what I said. I really had Jack's bets interests at heart, but I'm well aware the pub wasn't the place to have the conversation (i guess it was just easier to talk about a difficult subject with a bit of dutch courage). I'm also aware that Declan will be majorly dissapointed in me as he's trusted me for many years.

I'm also concerned I overstepped the line in giving "advice" and perhaps should have just let him talk if he wanted to.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I feel bad that no-one responded to your post. Don't have much to offer but will say that sometimes being responsible and keeping others secrets is hard work and pressure. Often when a friend has confided in me about something very serious I feel it huge burden. I would never break the confidence but often I really wanted to not out of malice but sheer pressure. Anyway there is nothing you can do at this stage. You do not know what will happen. if there is some fall-out just be honest and explain yourself like you did in the post. That you had his best interests etc. If he knows you well enough he should know you are a good person. If he doesn't well that's his problem. its not always fair to have to carry other secrets for them. They offload to you and then you carry the worry stiffled by the fact you can't discuss it with anyone. If it came out while drinking maybe on some level yo needed to talk to someone else. Good luck