Sick of it! I deserve someone too

LegacyUser

To cut a long story short, Im 18 and have never been with a girl in anyway. It isn't for complete lack of trying but after being rejected twice (which doesn't sound like alot, but these are the more 'serious' rejections - i.e. ive got the hint that shes not interested lots of times) and the most recent rejection [let's call her Jane] was very painful for me because I believed the girl was into me - she showed lots of signs etcera and was already crazy about her before she started showing these signs.

Jane is near perfect for me (noone is perfect) but is now back with her on again off again boyfriend (who is a user). I know she was practically guilted into getting back into a relationship with him, shes kind of naive.

At the time I got rejected by Jane (going to ask her out) she was going through ALOT of serious emotional stuff with her family (which I only learned of recently) which has sort of put me in an awkward position - Im thinking that maybe that was the reason for rejection? Maybe I need to believe that was the reason.

In every other aspect of my life I am extremely confident and have alot of self-esteem but when it comes to girls my confidence is completely shot, broken and beaten.

Im just so sick of it, I would give up everything to have a relationship with someone like Jane. To make matters worse every single one of my close friends is in a serious relationship and are putting pressure on me to 'get out there' - which is not helping, if Im going to do something, I'll do it in my own time and be the better for it.

Don't take my up wrong here, I'm not ugly by any means but I am somewhat overweight. I feel at this stage that any of the girls that know me know I've never been with anyone and that might be another reason for not wanting to have anything to do with me.

I also think some people possibly percieve me as gay because I haven't ever been with a girl but I think this perception has been wiped clean as of my recent efforts with Jane. To be clear here, I'm comfortably straight. It bothers me that people might think this, not becuase it makes me uncomfortable or threatens me but that girls will think this!

I'm a risk taker and would be willing to basically do anything to alleviate this situation. Girls have been interested in me before but I wouldn't have had any interest in them (ie they were very fat and ugly - to be honest. I know everything isnt based on looks but if there isnt that physical attraction AT ALL then theres nothing). It always seems to be that the girl I like is unattainable.

Recently a girl who I would think of in the girlfriend material way has started flirting with me alot (lets call her Ann), which has been a welcome change since Jane but Ann is seeing someone so thats the end of that at least for the moment.

I'm still pretty hung up about Jane and would basically do whatever it took to be with her. Her boyfriend is not good for her and I know its only a matter of time before they've split again.

If you've read everything, well thanks and hopefully you can offer some insight. Though, please don't tell me that "theres someone out there for everyone" and "you'll meet her when you least suspect it"

LegacyUser

hey OP
Im in a similiar situation. Im a 20yr old guy and have never been in a relationship either (never wanted one till recently) so I dont have any real advice. However I would strongly suggest you forget about Jane. Im sure shes lovely and all but it sounds like she has just too much baggage (family problems and troublesome boyfriend). As for Ann I think you only like her cause shes interested in you and that wont work if your looking for someone for a long term relationship. I mean when it comes to relationships, or anything for that matter, no deal is a whole lot better than a bad deal. So just dont settle for less than your perfect match.

I doubt this helped much but good luck anyway.

Dudess

You're only 18 - you're being way too harsh on yourself. You have years and years, there is absolutely no need for this pressure - from your friends or yourself. In years to come, you'll kick yourself for all this needless anxiety at such a young age.