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Really mismatched kissing styles! How do i bring it up?

  • 15-04-2010 7:30am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I know there are lots of similar threads, but they usually seem to be from the perspective of a girl, talking about a guy, so this one is slightly different.

    I've met girl who I really like and she seems to really like me (in fact it was her that asked me out). She is absolutely gorgeous and there is a massive spark between us. At the end of the last date we kissed....and...to be honest I haven't got a clue what she was doing. Her style of kissing was so different to mine that I couldn't even figure out how to fit in with it. I kept trying to slow down and take the lead a bit, but she carried on regardless with what she was doing.

    Now I do think I am a good kisser (who doesn't?) and have gotten lots of compliments over the years, but mainly I think this because I really love it, I take it slowly and pay attention to what other people are doing and try and adapt to different styles etc. But I genuinely don't understand what this girl was doing. I can only describe it as feeling a bit like she had no lips.

    I kept sort of, pausing, and then just trying to really slowly start with a simple kiss just touching our lips together or kissing her bottom lip between mine, (pretty normal stuff no?) but every time I did that she would open her mouth and sort of envelope my mouth with hers....seriously odd.

    Now I know people always say "Oh tell her to close her eyes and do nothing and that you are going to kiss her and show her how you like it", but is there any way of saying that to an almost 30 year old woman without her going "Oh my god he thinks I am an awful kisser" and being seriously insulted. Should I just come straight out and say in a cheeky way "hey, your kissing style is really different to mine, slow down there and let me figure out what you are doing?"

    12


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Helpguy.... wrote: »
    Should I just come straight out and say in a cheeky way "hey, your kissing style is really different to mine, slow down there and let me figure out what you are doing?"
    Would say defo be very careful about you approach it. Like you said it could be very insulting to the girl and if the relationship is only developing it might make her scarper.
    Maybe hold her face/neck with your hands to stop her moving around and that would give you more control over the kiss to settle on a technique you both like.
    It's an art form not a technical skill, keeping trying to get it right before you mention it to her.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I know how you feel.

    I'm seeing a woman in her early 30s and we don't "snog" - it's bizarre.

    I've been told many times that I'm a good kisser but I just can't kiss this girl in the way I would other girls.

    Why? Well, she puts her tongue to the bottom of her mouth so my tongue has nothing to push against.... so my tongue just ends up in her mouth wiggling around looking for its friend to no avail. It's like a chasm and I'm dangling on a rope into it.

    It's weird and not good.

    What I have started doing recently while in bed is placing my hand onthe nape of her neck and holding her mouth as close to mine as possible and almost forcing her to kiss me properly.

    "No lips" - that's a good way to describe it... but add no tongue in the mix too.


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