Dating on the internet

Moe Szyslak

hi guys and girls,

has anyone tried internet dating, sorry i couldnt see a thread about this. apologises if there is.

i have been single for 7 years nearly im 27 now and cant seem to meet women in clubs and pubs, well i cant even approach them now to be honest.
i dont think im bad looking anyway

was just wondering if meeting women over the internet was the way to go.
at least that way you would be able to tell the type of person is.

if anyone has any good site, ill check them out.

much appreciated, thanks all

LegacyUser

well yes i have tried it and i have found it to be a bit odd at times if you are not used to it -totally different from just meeting someone in a pub / club etc.
I am actually currently seeing someone i met online for the past couple of months and taking it very slowly as I know the whole internet dating thing can cause a little bit of paranoia for ya - ie.. if you meet someone you really get to like after a couple of dates and they are still online and stuff and dating other people it can kinda play up on your mind not to get too involved if you start liking the person... I may be talking complete crap here but thats my experience of it....

On a lighter note... one of my friends met her fiance online... they are now together 6 years and getting married at the end of this year... so there is a light at the end of the tunnel for internet dating.

I would recommend it if you want to get out there and date a few different people etc and you never know if you are looking for something more serious perhaps you might just meet the right person like my mate.

good luck with it - give it a shot!!

Ps i wouldnt recommend the free of charge ones... major weirdos..
I would recommend the likes of maybefriends

Canluum

unreg27 wrote: »

Ps i wouldnt recommend the free of charge ones... major weirdos..
I would recommend the likes of maybefriends

I disagree strongly on this. Plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com tend to be more full of regular folks, rather than desperate souls willing to pay for it. You're always gonna get a minority weirdos in every walk of life.

I went out with a girl for over a year who I met on OkCupid.com. She was a top notch lady: educated, socially capable and pretty.

Moe Szyslak

thanks a million guys, ill give those two websites a look, sounds good.

is thereanything you should be putting in a profile, that would attract women? or anything you would say in your first pm to someone.

i havent thought about it really, but id say i would say something like
"hi there whats up"

am i likely to get responses haha

dreamer_ire

In terms of what to put in a pm look at their profile and see what you have in common and refer to that. So for example you share a taste in films talk about what your favourite scene in one of them was, or if you both like a certain city refer to a nice spot there. Don't write too much but enough to give a sense of who you are.... one liners don't get replies unless they are exceptionally funny. Also make sure you ask a question, that way you are inviting a reply.

Chatting online can be a good safe way to practice flirting which in turn can help build your confidence which may lead to you being able to approach women in pubs and clubs and strike up conversations.

Good luck, be honest and be careful.

Canluum

dreamer_ire wrote: »

In terms of what to put in a pm look at their profile and see what you have in common and refer to that. So for example you share a taste in films talk about what your favourite scene in one of them was, or if you both like a certain city refer to a nice spot there. Don't write too much but enough to give a sense of who you are.... one liners don't get replies unless they are exceptionally funny. Also make sure you ask a question, that way you are inviting a reply.

^This is excellent advice.

In your profile put up plenty of good photos of yourself, preferably at least some of them doing things sporty or social. Write personally and with some originality and light hearted humour. Not too long, don't tell your life story. Be selective in your honesty and choose upbeat things. Imply (don't say) that you're really into whatever it is you do. Also a sentence like: "I like hanging out, going out dancing with the lads, socialising and watching sports" is so utterly trite as to make you indistinguishable from a floor tile, a floor tile I want to stamp on repeatedly.

I'll iterate the keep-it-short sentiment for messages. Try approach with a light relaxed attitude, being funny if possible. Some (very) light joshing is also acceptable, a personal touch is mandatory. You'll get an idea of their interest level if they reply (and if they don't). If they want to keep the conversation going they'll ask a personal question, otherwise they're most likely just being polite. You can message those back once, but if the second reply is the same then ignore them.

An air of mystery is useful. Telling your life story over messages leaves her nothing to dig for, it's boring. Before divulging personal information ask yourself: "do I gain anything by telling her this", i.e. will this raise her interest level? If the answer is no, then utilise some humorous ambiguity or dodging.

When arranging to meet up (after a subjective number of exchanged messages), much better to just suggest outright rather than hint or dance around it. I know, the prospect of rejection sucks, but you're on there to meet people and you will reek of a lack of confidence if you try the latter, an unattractive quality in males. If they don't reply then they weren't going to meet you in the first place and you just saved yourself some time-wasting!

For a first date arrange for a weekday, and suggest a specific time. You want to give the impression you've got stuff going on. If she counters with a friday or saturday, say you can't and counter back with a specific day/time on a weekday the following week. A boy who sits at home twiddling his thumbs waiting for their date is not an attractive prospect for a girl (in real life, rom-coms are a distorted fantasy). You need to present yourself as some sort of challenge, not a doormat who will bend at will. In terms of location ideas: coffee or a drink works, dinner perhaps, not the cinema though. You can be creative, eg an exhibition you're both into or a performance of some sort. If it works out you can say this is where you met, and it will be true.

If the date doesn't go badly, but she's not mauling your face with her mouth, DO NOT try to ask for a second date, or even imply one. Walk her to her road/bus-stop/car. You presumably have gotten her phone number at some stage, if you haven't now is the time. Smile and say something like: "thank you for a lovely evening, see-you" and be off. If you're interested you can call her (or text if you're too wussy) no less than 5 days later, and no more than 9. This may seem a little heartless but trust me it's not. If she already has some interest, this will only serve to increase it and that can only be a good thing if your intentions are honest. You are now more of a prize to be won rather than a gratuity to be discarded.