why do priest think there above ever1 else

tiintin

I'm getting married in a cple week and was to meet my local priest for pre nuptials enquiy,

I waited for him for 15 mins and when he didnt turn up 1 got fed up and went home,

I called the priest later and he told me that i had no manners and was impatient for not waiting for him. Like I've nothing else to do

never been so annoyed and not be able to tell him to i won't say it

reilig

tiintin wrote: »

I'm getting married in a cple week and was to meet my local priest for pre nuptials enquiy,

I waited for him for 15 mins and when he didnt turn up 1 got fed up and went home,

I called the priest later and he told me that i had no manners and was impatient for not waiting for him. Like I've nothing else to do

never been so annoyed and not be able to tell him to i won't say it

We got married last summer. Got all our paper work done 12 months in advance, but had a few false starts with the priest who failed to show up a few times. My parish priest was to travel the 60 or so miles to My wife's parish. He had agreed to it and spoken about how he looked forward to getting away for the day. i met him a number of times the months and weeks before the wedding, we even sent him an invitation. the week before the wedding I met him and he was all excited about it and told me that bar a funeral or something similar, he would definiely be there. I offered him a lift over with someone from my family which he declined saying that he loved the driving. I booked and paid for breakfast for him in a hotel near the church for when he arrived. The day before teh wedding, I went to his house to confirm everything and give him the mass booklet which was specially printed with his sections in it highlighted. My final words to him when I was leaving his house were "sure I'll see you tomorrow so". He replied back "if you see me, you'll see me and if you don't you won't". Needless to say he never showed up at the church. When the other priest got nervous about him, we rang him and he told me that he just couldn't make it. He had no funeral that day either. If the man had told me that he wouldn't be there that day I'd have understood. But he left me standing in a church waiting for him without even telling me that he wasn't going to show.

Don't get me started on priests.... at least the wife showed up.

goat2

reilig wrote: »

We got married last summer. Got all our paper work done 12 months in advance, but had a few false starts with the priest who failed to show up a few times. My parish priest was to travel the 60 or so miles to My wife's parish. He had agreed to it and spoken about how he looked forward to getting away for the day. i met him a number of times the months and weeks before the wedding, we even sent him an invitation. the week before the wedding I met him and he was all excited about it and told me that bar a funeral or something similar, he would definiely be there. I offered him a lift over with someone from my family which he declined saying that he loved the driving. I booked and paid for breakfast for him in a hotel near the church for when he arrived. The day before teh wedding, I went to his house to confirm everything and give him the mass booklet which was specially printed with his sections in it highlighted. My final words to him when I was leaving his house were "sure I'll see you tomorrow so". He replied back "if you see me, you'll see me and if you don't you won't". Needless to say he never showed up at the church. When the other priest got nervous about him, we rang him and he told me that he just couldn't make it. He had no funeral that day either. If the man had told me that he wouldn't be there that day I'd have understood. But he left me standing in a church waiting for him without even telling me that he wasn't going to show.

Don't get me started on priests.... at least the wife showed up.

they have you where they want you in those occasions, they call the shots, that was very nasty of that priest, arrogance, ignorance, thick, stupid, whatever you like, it is all wrong that on a happy day, he should turn around and try ruin it for you all

tiintin

your bang on the money goat2, they have me exactly wher they want me and when he finally does as we need him to, I'm sure he'll have his hand out looking for a few pound.

reilig

tiintin wrote: »

your bang on the money goat2, they have me exactly wher they want me and when he finally does as we need him to, I'm sure he'll have his hand out looking for a few pound.

Our priest was going to receive a nice amount of cash for his day out. We had it in an envelope and he would have been well compensated for his day out. However we spent his envelope of cash on our honeymoon.

the_syco

goat2 wrote: »

they have stopped us buying signed mass cards in shops

Off topic, but I believe that was because the company doing the mass cards weren't passing on much of the funds, or something like that...

Joey the lips

Hi folks, i think you attitde is quite poor tbh. I also think your just jumping on the hate priest bandwagon.

I work in the community and priests tbh are no different than people and not to be treated any different. We are all late for meetings we all make mistakes. Its perfectly normal.

For my part. I had a priest do my wedding who was in poor health however I made sure I left enough time to see him knowing this and I ensured that the reception photographer knew there might be delays due to his health.

Chill folks.... Your ment to be enjoying the occasion as christians as well as brides and grooms.

Black Dog

Tiintin,

Why all the bother? There are plenty of registry offices around the country, run on a professional basis, there when they say they will be there etc.

By the way, I'm sure if you mentioned to the priest that you were considering the above instead of a church wedding he might pay more attention.

You didn't mention the pre-marriage course - obligatory in the Catholic Church and at an obligatory cost. Then, there is the cost of "renting" the church for the day, a "donation" to the sacristan and the organist - often even if s/he is not actually playing on the day but you have someone taking their place and so must pay for the privilege.

All in all, the registry office is easier, cheaper and far less bother.

Joey the lips

Black Dog wrote: »

Tiintin,

Why all the bother? There are plenty of registry offices around the country, run on a professional basis, there when they say they will be there etc.

By the way, I'm sure if you mentioned to the priest that you were considering the above instead of a church wedding he might pay more attention.

You didn't mention the pre-marriage course - obligatory in the Catholic Church and at an obligatory cost. Then, there is the cost of "renting" the church for the day, a "donation" to the sacristan and the organist - often even if s/he is not actually playing on the day but you have someone taking their place and so must pay for the privilege.

All in all, the registry office is easier, cheaper and far less bother.

Cant wait till its you.... See if your moth wants a registery office. As for the premarriage course. Best thing that every happened and the stats proved it.

Everything else is a rant.

Then again i suppose really.... if your athiest... your girlfriend will just have to accept you would be a hypocrit if you got married a church.

Black Dog

Joey the Lips,

To be perfectly honest with you, I have been there, done that etc and all in a church as this is what the lady wanted and I didn't hold so strongly to my own beliefs to spoil the day on her. I have no religious beliefs and marrying in a church, the religious ceremony part, was simply something I went through to make her happy while the bit at the end, signing on the register, was the part which was of significance to me.

Also, to be perfectly honest, my post above was not a rant. We all have beliefs and while we try to live by them must also allow others to live by theirs. Give and take, I suppose.

The main point I wished to make was that there was an alternative to the church wedding if Tiintin was finding dealing with the priest unreasonable.

Could I ask you to expand on your comment on the pre-marriage courses, please - simply being curious, not challenging your statement or anything like that.

Joey the lips

Black Dog wrote: »

Joey the Lips,

To be perfectly honest with you, I have been there, done that etc and all in a church as this is what the lady wanted and I didn't hold so strongly to my own beliefs to spoil the day on her. I have no religious beliefs and marrying in a church, the religious ceremony part, was simply something I went through to make her happy while the bit at the end, signing on the register, was the part which was of significance to me.

Also, to be perfectly honest, my post above was not a rant. We all have beliefs and while we try to live by them must also allow others to live by theirs. Give and take, I suppose.

The main point I wished to make was that there was an alternative to the church wedding if Tiintin was finding dealing with the priest unreasonable.

Could I ask you to expand on your comment on the pre-marriage courses, please - simply being curious, not challenging your statement or anything like that.

You have been there so to be honest its unfair to be so flippent about it.

To some(me and many others) it was an important day and once the church was over tbh I did not care.

on the pre marriage course. As far as i am aware this is run by cori not your local church. The money you pay does not go near the church. The people that run the course are volenteers. I done the course.

The stats that are held on the course(which is monitored) should that these course point out in advace the various difficulties experienced in marriage. If you are in tune with the course as i was you become very aware of what you were thought when it happens.

Black Dog

Joey,

It is quite a while since I did a pre-marriage course and, at the time, I found it very poor indeed, very basic and presumed a general ignorance. Good to hear it has improved dramatically. At the time, it was run by the parish not by Cori, as now.

Like yourself, the wedding day was a great day, loved every minute of it and had a ball.

I find it a pity that Tiintin is finding it a bother and that the priest involved is not being more thoughtful and helpful. I'm sure he will get it sorted out.

I'm checking out of this discussion now, nothing further to add. Good to exchange views with you.

Best of luck, Tiintin.

the_syco

Black Dog wrote: »

Then, there is the cost of "renting" the church for the day, a "donation" to the sacristan and the organist - often even if s/he is not actually playing on the day but you have someone taking their place and so must pay for the privilege.

All in all, the registry office is easier, cheaper and far less bother.

You want to use the local GAA hall, you pay money to rent it. You want someone to do something for you, you pay them. It's called a "donation" as they can only accept gifts... as opposed to charging you whatever they want.

=-=

I'd find it cool to have the wedding on a nice spot up on top of a mountain that has an ancient stone age alter on it. Weather on the day would be something that I'd be worried about though. That and wind

Essexboy

Don't you know the cardinal rules of the Catholic Church?

• Pay
• Pray
• Obey

Joey the lips

Essexboy wrote: »

Don't you know the cardinal rules of the Catholic Church?

• Pay
• Pray
• Obey

No doubt your sitting back for the miles of thanks to come rolling in for that poor attempt at humour. :rolleyes:

Essexboy

Joey the lips wrote: »

No doubt your sitting back for the miles of thanks to come rolling in for that poor attempt at humour. :rolleyes:

Many a true word is spoken in jest!

tiintin

Hi all,

I don't want to be sounding like I hate all priest, the priest that is performing the ceremony couldn’t be more helpful and kind, he's an all round gentleman. He cannot do enough for us.

I relation to registry office ceremony it not what me and my partner what, I want the religious element and personally wouldn't like to be married in reg office.

Our Pre marriage course was run by Accord and although it’s associated with the church the I don’t think they get the proceeds off the fee, If I not mistaken part off the money goes the running (i.e. materials book, paper etc) off the programme and hiring off the rooms, the rest goes to local programmes with the community, I could be wrong to
Some of the topics were boring but other I have to admit were interesting and helpful, It made me think and talk to my partner about subject’s the you wouldn’t think about in every day life, Like
What if we cannot have children?
What happened if we have a child with an illness?

Orizio

Joey the lips wrote: »

Hi folks, i think you attitde is quite poor tbh. I also think your just jumping on the hate priest bandwagon.

I work in the community and priests tbh are no different than people and not to be treated any different. We are all late for meetings we all make mistakes. Its perfectly normal.

For my part. I had a priest do my wedding who was in poor health however I made sure I left enough time to see him knowing this and I ensured that the reception photographer knew there might be delays due to his health.

Chill folks.... Your ment to be enjoying the occasion as christians as well as brides and grooms.

...is it then normal to lecture the person you stood up for their rudeness? And has it occured to you that people are jumping on the 'hate priests' bandwagon for perfectly justifiable reasons?

OP, the Roman Catholic Church is a moral and political morass - get a civil marriage instead.

JupiterKid

Orizio wrote: »

...is it then normal to lecture the person you stood up for their rudeness? And has it occured to you that people are jumping on the 'hate priests' bandwagon for perfectly justifiable reasons?

OP, the Roman Catholic Church is a moral and political morass - get a civil marriage instead.

Completely agree. The "pay, pray, obey" rings very true. Priesly arrogance is still alive and well in Ireland. The more people that cop on to the vile and corrupt institution that is the Catholic church the better.

TJJP

While I can't read, never mind understand a lot of this thread, and I'm no god botherer, 15 minutes isn't much of a wait. Perhaps the local Priest was busy scraping the local boy racer from around a tree and busy conveying the news to that unfortunates parents; or any number of other crap jobs they get (without any handout).

Of course OP's requirements should come first, upstanding and participating member of the community that you probably are. It's not that you are showing up looking for a wedding in a church and community, with which you have never engaged, with your hand out waiting for padre to service your every whim.

If it don't suit you, by all means do as advised here and get married in a hayshed.

muffler

TJJP, just keep the tone down a bit please.

Cheers.

Essexboy

I picked up the local paper two weeks ago and read that the priest from a neighbouring parish was lobbying the county council to rezone farmland in front of my house for housing.
Were I or my neighbours consulted? No, yet he wrote that all the locals supported his demand. That is what he wants so everyone must fall in line.
Fortunately the council ignored him.

Graces7

the_syco wrote: »

Off topic, but I believe that was because the company doing the mass cards weren't passing on much of the funds, or something like that...

Also off topic of course;) But I hate to see blame wrongly placed.

Mass cards were stopped IN SHOPS because the "priest" who signed them was either dead or defrocked.. ie no mass would be said. It was a fiddle and nothing to do in fact with the Church any more.

An abuse that has been set right; and you can still buy mass cards at eg Rossnowlagh where they are signed by the Friars.

No excuse for rudeness and unreliability by priests; but yes, a bandwaggon exists. So please, be fair