need help finding love

LegacyUser

OK Im a 21 year old male and will be entering my final year of my college course next september and I have never been in a relationship. This was down to me being happy with myself and didnt see the point of having a g/friend – also a waste of money on txts and presents I was happy being by myself watching tv etc. I am still a virgin as I didnt see the point of drunken 1 night stands – not really into clubs etc and too lazy (lets face it the internet is way easier, if you know what I mean).

So the problem! Well the thought of living/dying alone or never getting married doesnt bother me and I believed that you will find love when your not looking for it but thats a load of cr*p (the perfect woman is not going to find you when your lying on your couch watching south park!). So recently I got thinking that after next year ill start to lose contact with my friends and being realistic if I am ever going to meet someone with possible long term potential finding her in college is my best bet.

I have started going to clubs more and more with friends (who think I have a ‘healthy sex life’- going home early and telling them the nextday that I left with some chick). Now the problem is that so little experience I dont know how to start approaching women without looking like I want to get into their pants. I also cant see how I can meet someone who has ‘long-term potential’ in a club or bar.

So any advice comments etc will be greatly appreciated and I was also wondering if I was the only person in this situation (dont really care, just out of curiosity) Im also guessing there are girls in similiar situations so feel free to post any advice for them.
Thanks, sorry its so long

In short: guy trying to find potential long term girlfriend and has no idea what hes doing or where to start. Any advice.

Lolnouska

troubledloner wrote: »

OK Im a 21 year old male and will be entering my final year of my college course next september and I have never been in a relationship. This was down to me being happy with myself and didnt see the point of having a g/friend – also a waste of money on txts and presents I was happy being by myself watching tv etc. I am still a virgin as I didnt see the point of drunken 1 night stands – not really into clubs etc and too lazy (lets face it the internet is way easier, if you know what I mean).
So the problem! Well the thought of living/dying alone or never getting married doesnt bother me and I believed that you will find love when your not looking for it but thats a load of cr*p (the perfect woman is not going to find you when your lying on your couch watching south park!). So recently I got thinking that after next year ill start to lose contact with my friends and being realistic if I am ever going to meet someone with possible long term potential finding her in college is my best bet.

I have started going to clubs more and more with friends (who think I have a ‘healthy sex life’- going home early and telling them the nextday that I left with some chick). Now the problem is that so little experience I dont know how to start approaching women without looking like I want to get into their pants. I also cant see how I can meet someone who has ‘long-term potential’ in a club or bar.

So any advice comments etc will be greatly appreciated and I was also wondering if I was the only person in this situation (dont really care, just out of curiosity) Im also guessing there are girls in similiar situations so feel free to post any advice for them.
Thanks, sorry its so long

In short: guy trying to find potential long term girlfriend and has no idea what hes doing or where to start. Any advice.

I highlighted the bits that i thought were a strange thing to say.
It's not a waste of money when you want to show affection by giving gifts...I know not everyone is into gifts but they are nice. and it's the thought that counts, doesn't have to be anything expensive.
But then again like you said you've never had a girlfriend so i guess you sort of make sense by thinking it's a waste of money/time. but it's not.

You probably won't find true love in a bar/club no. happens sometimes, but rarely.

What are your interests and hobbies? (apart from watching TV and going online...)
If you're involved in any sort of organization maybe there might be a few girls there you could talk to?
Friends of friends?

LegacyUser

OK, when I mentioned the waste of money I was refering to when I was aged 14-17 when I preferred playing video games etc and didnt see the point in getting involved in a relationship because the vast majority of these teen relationships aren't real, they are more about being popular or making yourself look better for friends and are going nowhere and are hence a waste of time and money, of course its not if you are actually or believe you are actually in love. As for the too lazy Im just not big into going out - too much trouble, and not my thing.

I hope I cleared that up and thanks 4 the advice

LegacyUser

Im a male in my early 20s. Ill be entering final year of my college course next september. I have never been in a relationship and am still a virgin as I am happy in myself and and never felt like I had to lose it.

So my problem is that when I finish my course I will begin to lose contact with my friends and will have less people to talk to. Now the thought of living/dying alone or never getting married doesnt bother me as Im happy with my own company but recently I have been thinking it would be nice to find someone who had 'long-term girlfriend potential' and being honest college is my best chance of finding this.

So the problem arises in that I have no idea how to meet girls. I have started going to clubs and bars more often. In the past when in clubs I have never tried to chat to women as I wasnt looking for a relationship and amn't into one night stands. As a result im finding it hard to strike up a conversation with randomers who seem to be having a good time or are with a group. I also dont drink so the task is a lot scarier and whenever I go for it it just looks like I'm trying to get into their pants or ends in an awkward silence. I also dont think Im going to meet 'long-term material' in a club but its a start.

I am a member of some societies etc but they are mostly poker and pool which have very few females and I amn't interested in things that have. I have also tried the friends of friends thing but the vast majority of my friends are guys who dont have many female friends.

So any advice, comments are ideas will be greatly appreciated. I would also like to know (from a females point of view, or male of course) what is the best way to approach a girl in a club without looking like a horndog. Im also guessing that there are girls wilth similiar problems so advice for them is welcome too. Finally, just out of curiosity, is there any1 else in a similiar situation.

In short: looking for a possible long term girlfriend but have little to no experience with girls any advice.

Thanks and sorry about the length.

Kevster

Whilst leaving college might result in you having less opportunity to go out, it might ironicallyresult in you going out more in the long term. Why? - The logic is that you will be feeling more lobely and might look harder to find a new set of friends/acquaintances and will seek every opportunity to go out. So, the upcoming nd of college could be a blessing in disguise in this ergard.

Plus, you're still quite young dude. I know guys double your age who are still virgins. I'm 27 and have only done 'it' once (and hated it). I'd like to say to not rush into things like this, but I know that you won't listen to me.

Kevin

Zaph

Threads merged. OP, please don't start the same thread in different forums again.

Scanlas The 2nd

There's no reason you can't have an abundance of choice with attractive women. You just need to learn how to interact with them. Get lots of experience under your belt.

An example of how to talk to women is below in dialogue form.

http://www.bigbiznss.com/2008/lr-radar/

liah

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

There's no reason you can't have an abundance of choice with attractive women. You just need to learn how to interact with them. Get lots of experience under your belt.

An example of how to talk to women is below in dialogue form.

http://www.bigbiznss.com/2008/lr-radar/

Ignore this.

Just talk to girls the same way you'd talk to any other person. We're not an alien species, there's no manual for how we work. We're like you; we either like ya or we don't. Just don't lie to us or try to manipulate us, as you will never find a fulfilling relationship that way. Start a relationship with lies and manipulation and it will only end in deceit and heartbreak. Be honest and unafraid from the start (that includes being honest about your intentions toward her; make it clear you're interested in being more than just a friend, otherwise you're liable to head to the "friend zone").

It's pretty simple.