Lesbian not out

lemongrass22

Hey Everyone. I am 25 women who is so gay it hurts but never been with a women! I find it really difficult to meet women who are gay. The ones I fancy are usually straight. I have tried gay bars etc but I am not out to my friends or family! I would really love to meet a girly girl but alot of the women in gay bars seem manly, does anyone else have this prob? what should I do?

Speak Now

lemongrass22 wrote: »

Hey Everyone. I am 25 women who is so gay it hurts but never been with a women! I find it really difficult to meet women who are gay. The ones I fancy are usually straight. I have tried gay bars etc but I am not out to my friends or family! I would really love to meet a girly girl but alot of the women in gay bars seem manly, does anyone else have this prob? what should I do?

Fair play you've gone from being Bi to gay in 11 minutes
Seriously though threads will probably be merged but you've come to the right place from some of the threads i've read here.
Gaydar girls would be a good way to get chatting to girls in same situation. Meet someone you trust and like and go for a chat and coffee without the worry of being outed. Gay bars can be a bit of a cattle mart if you're not used to them

ElectricGirl

Lemongrass 22- there is website meetup.com and is great for meeting other gay women outside of a bar situation. You should check it out. I go to the light soccer training in Phoenix Park on a Monday and it is only some fun with a few of us having a kickaround, nothing serious. Its also just new and we had our second session on Monday so everyone is newcomers. you should think about coming.

crotalus667

Jerry Seinfeld wrote: »

Fair play you've gone from being Bi to gay in 11 minutes

That happens alot to the women i meet :rolleyes:

lemongrass22

Jerry Seinfeld wrote: »

Fair play you've gone from being Bi to gay in 11 minutes
Seriously though threads will probably be merged but you've come to the right place from some of the threads i've read here.
Gaydar girls would be a good way to get chatting to girls in same situation. Meet someone you trust and like and go for a chat and coffee without the worry of being outed. Gay bars can be a bit of a cattle mart if you're not used to them

Big step for me :D

ElectricGirl wrote: »

Lemongrass 22- there is website meetup.com and is great for meeting other gay women outside of a bar situation. You should check it out. I go to the light soccer training in Phoenix Park on a Monday and it is only some fun with a few of us having a kickaround, nothing serious. Its also just new and we had our second session on Monday so everyone is newcomers. you should think about coming.

Thanks Electricgirl not a sports fan tho :P

crotalus667 wrote: »

That happens alot to the women i meet :rolleyes:

Hehe

ElectricGirl

Its not just sports on the site - loads of other meetups. You should check it out anyway.

lemongrass22

ElectricGirl wrote: »

Its not just sports on the site - loads of other meetups. You should check it out anyway.

Cool I defo will.

ElectricGirl

lemongrass22 wrote: »

Cool I defo will.

And PS. We have all been where you are and trust me it really does get easier

lemongrass22

ElectricGirl wrote: »

And PS. We have all been where you are and trust me it really does get easier

Good to know

baby and crumble

Yeah, it can be tough to meet gay girls, especially just for hanging out and friendship, I find... I dunno, I met my other half through completely-unrelated-to- gay- stuff college volunteering (now I want to tradmark that phrase... ), so I have no idea how it works these days! meetup.com sounds good though... afterellen.com is a cool site, and although its based in the US, a fair few irish girls are on there and do meetups, far as I know...

And as for the George, etc, I find the nicest place to hang out is actually Panti Bar... The age group is a bit older (post college age crowd) and a lot more chilled, and I've spotted an awful lot more girls there that aren't obviously straight and with their gay best friend, you know? And since they're a little older they seem to be a bit less likely to get 'offended' if you hit on them.

you say you're not out to your friends or family- that must be tough. And must make it harder to get up the courage to go talk to someone, cos you can't do the old "oh god she'sso hot but I'm gonna trip oh crap I tripped and fell into her beer, oh god the shame get me another whiskey" commentary that is so easy when your mates are there.

That's never happened to anyone else? No? Must just be me then...

rainbow kirby

zoegh wrote: »

And must make it harder to get up the courage to go talk to someone, cos you can't do the old "oh god she'sso hot but I'm gonna trip oh crap I tripped and fell into her beer, oh god the shame get me another whiskey" commentary that is so easy when your mates are there.

That's never happened to anyone else? No? Must just be me then...

*whistles*

Never happened. :pac:

I'd actually agree with you about Pantibar being pretty decent, particularly in terms of there being a slightly older crowd. The Front Lounge seems to have a bigger proportion of girls there in general too, particularly compared to the G.

baby and crumble

Originally posted by Rainbow Kirby:

Never happened. :pac:

It's so lonely on my rock of shame...

Boston

Pantibar has some hot lesbian and bisexual girls. The problem with Lesbians is that they tend to cluster together in clubs and this makes it difficult to tell which ones are single and interested (He says like he's an expert on lesbian mating ). Bisexual girls will be in little groups of 2 or three and it is generally easier to tell if they're looking to hook up.

The thing you need to remember about gay bars is that everyone is judging you, even if they don't mean to. Once you convince yourself you're deadly, it wont seem to daunting.

shoegirl

Boston wrote: »

The thing you need to remember about gay bars is that everyone is judging you, even if they don't mean to. Once you convince yourself you're deadly, it wont seem to daunting.

That is so true!

You have to look past the fact that the most obviously visible masculine-centric looking lesbians are around in packs doesn't mean that everybody who doesn't look like this is straight. Sure there are a lot of quite masculine gay women, but tons and tons of gay and bi women who are hyper feminine, just like there are lots of gay guys who are not very camp.

There is a tendency on the scene to assume that lesbians who hunt in pairs are a couple - not generally the case.

Take your time and go to what you feel comfortable with. My own experience over many years (out 19 years since I was 18) is that if you let yourself be pressured into going to events or activities you don't like or are not interested in you'll feel really uncomfortable and hard to meet people. So watch out for things you do like - and pop along.

Get to know people online - good way to make friends with people who you have something in common with rather than try to make maybe more forced acquaintanceships with people you don't feel comfortable with.