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He loves me more than I love him

  • 14-04-2010 12:46pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I love my BF but I know he loves me more. He was the first to say it and it took me a few months to say it back. He never gets annoyed with me, the one time I did something which I know I shouldn't have done he apologised after he gave out to me.
    I am worried that he loves me too much and I might take advantage of him. He has agreed to buy a house in the area I like, even though its miles from where he's from. He pays for all our holidays and won't let me lift a finger as he says he loves spoiling me. He said he sister told him he'd have to raise his game after she met me because I was so pretty and lovely (I am ok looking but no supermodel, I did some part time modelling when I was a teenager) and he says its his job to take care of me.
    I am not a brat, I have my own career and was self-sufficient before we started going out (I still am to a large extent as I will not let him pay bills or for home stuff for my house). But I am thinking if its going to work because he clearly loves me more. Is this ok long term?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    lovelovelove wrote: »
    I love my BF but I know he loves me more. He was the first to say it and it took me a few months to say it back. He never gets annoyed with me, the one time I did something which I know I shouldn't have done he apologised after he gave out to me.
    I am worried that he loves me too much and I might take advantage of him. He has agreed to buy a house in the area I like, even though its miles from where he's from. He pays for all our holidays and won't let me lift a finger as he says he loves spoiling me. He said he sister told him he'd have to raise his game after she met me because I was so pretty and lovely (I am ok looking but no supermodel, I did some part time modelling when I was a teenager) and he says its his job to take care of me.
    I am not a brat, I have my own career and was self-sufficient before we started going out (I still am to a large extent as I will not let him pay bills or for home stuff for my house). But I am thinking if its going to work because he clearly loves me more. Is this ok long term?
    As long as it's he loves you more, not he loves you and you don't love him.
    Some men can be very easy going, but will let you know if you cross the line. Don't assume calm and relaxed = he'll let you away with anything. Or maybe he is needy and insecure, will let you walk all over him.


  • #3
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,724 ✭✭✭seenitall


    It is all ok.

    Unless you start feeling guilty about not being able to reciprocate how he feels for you. It could also happen that you start resenting him for it a bit. This might never happen with the two of you, and I hope it doesn't, but just letting you know the way it could go, and then you will know that the imbalance of feelings in the relationship is a problem.

    Anyway, my best advice is to relax and enjoy having a lovely, caring, giving boyfriend in your life. It certainly is a blessing. No one knows what's around the next corner in life, so it is really important to know how to enjoy the good times.


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    This whole - I love you more than you love me stuff - I hate it all.

    Love cannot be measured. We each just show our love differently.
    Maybe relax a bit with this and don't over analyse.
    At the same time - him always doing stuff like this - are you feeling it is threatening your independence or what is the real fear here?

    Maybe just have a quiet word with him and ask him to relax a bit on the pedestal stuff - that gets tiring after a while - and the fall to earth can sometimes come with a noisy bump.


  • #5
    S23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    Its certainly alright. There is no measurement of love anyway. But as was said above as long as it isn't 'he loves you but you don't love him at all' then you're fine.

    The other thing to watch out for, and you seem very aware of it, is that you don't morph into some bratty superbitch because you are so well treated. It seems like you want to avoid that so maybe, as said, have a quite word and tell him he can chill out a bit and, while still showing you love and respect, maybe not try so hard at everything all the time.

    Honestly I think his sisters remarks about 'stepping up his game' may have had a big impact on him.

    Its a great way to make someone insecure to tell them they have to constantly 'overperform' because the person they are with is too good for them. That should never be the case. And I know you weren't the one that said it but I'd bet it is ingrained in his brain now


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