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dumped by text

  • 13-04-2010 8:34pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Things have just ended between me and an on again off again girlfriend again. She dumped my by text after being together for about 4 years. I am hurt by this but the fact she would end a relationship like this by text after she was the one who pushed for us to give it another try a few months ago, has woken me up to the type of girl she is. Of course in my head she was probably cheating on me with someone as it seems to be her style.

    Anyway we are both from a small town and I guess I could do with some advice with how to cope with seeing her with other guys at the weekend when inevitably we will bump into each other again and again. Despite all her faults I cared for her deeply. Maybe this indicates a lack of self esteem on my part.

    But anyway if someone could give me some advice as in how to get my mind around to coping with seeing her with another guy?


Comments

  • #2
    Sephiroth_dude
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 81,083 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    dumped by text wrote: »
    Things have just ended between me and an on again off again girlfriend again. She dumped my by text after being together for about 4 years. I am hurt by this but the fact she would end a relationship like this by text after she was the one who pushed for us to give it another try a few months ago, has woken me up to the type of girl she is. Of course in my head she was probably cheating on me with someone as it seems to be her style.

    Anyway we are both from a small town and I guess I could do with some advice with how to cope with seeing her with other guys at the weekend when inevitably we will bump into each other again and again. Despite all her faults I cared for her deeply. Maybe this indicates a lack of self esteem on my part.

    But anyway if someone could give me some advice as in how to get my mind around to coping with seeing her with another guy?

    My advice to you would be,If you see her with another guy try and ignore it as hard as that may be,get out there and have fun,if she tries to contact you ignore her,delete her number and tbh if she did'nt have the guts to finish with you in person then your better off without her.


  • #3
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    go out the wekend, if you bump into her with someone else, smile broadly, say a fresh hello and enjoy your night, move on and look for better because whatever happened between you two, to be dumped by txt is the lowest of the low, you deserve better OP, best of luck :cool:


  • #4
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    I agree with Bolag. The best way to deal with it is to just focus on things you nejoy, sports, friends, going out whatever. Don't even bat an eye-lid if she is with someone else - say hello shake the guys hand - in short put it across that you are completely noon-threatened by the whole thing (even if you are). And sooner than you think, you'll be dating someone who isn't a heartless wench, and you ex will be regretting her actions.


  • #5
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    dumped by text wrote: »
    But anyway if someone could give me some advice as in how to get my mind around to coping with seeing her with another guy?

    As soon as you see them together remember thank god you are rid of someone who is so callous, shallow, immature as someone who can dump someone via text full stop, but esp after 4 years!


  • #6
    Canard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,572 ✭✭✭Canard


    Imo the pain is in seeing them happy with someone else and having the feelings that were once yours with another person.
    But what feelings? She dumped you by text!
    Just laugh and wait until they break up, honestly. Tell yourself it wont last forever, because a girl like that cant carry a relationship.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Op here. Thanks for responses guys. I guess the fact that I don't know why she broke up with me is bothering me too. We didnt see each other for a few weeks because she was so busy then when I told her I had a romantic night planned for us because we hadn't seen each other in 2 weeks she just texted back saying that she didn't want to mess me around and dumped me!

    I thought this was very immature and I tried to call her but she wouldnt answer the phone.

    As well as feeling so much for her, I am very confused about whats going on with her too!


  • #8
    katie99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 206 ✭✭katie99


    What girl or guy for that matter dumps their partner by text, or even by email?
    It shows a total immaturity, lack of respect, shallowness and downright ignorance and bad manners.
    I know you are probably driving yourself crazy trying to analysize why she dumped you.
    Well, the good news for you is that you have probably had a lucky escape, even if it was after four years.
    Just try very hard to ignore her. Don't show any hurt feelings and I agree that you shouldn't take her calls or texts or emails.
    She is not worth it.


  • #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    dumped by text wrote: »
    Op here. Thanks for responses guys. I guess the fact that I don't know why she broke up with me is bothering me too. We didnt see each other for a few weeks because she was so busy then when I told her I had a romantic night planned for us because we hadn't seen each other in 2 weeks she just texted back saying that she didn't want to mess me around and dumped me!

    I thought this was very immature and I tried to call her but she wouldnt answer the phone.

    As well as feeling so much for her, I am very confused about whats going on with her too!

    You poor thing, it's very hard to move on with that kind of ending to a relationship, a four year relationship at that. Give yourself time to get over it, get angry over her, cry over her, pine for her, get angry all over again etc.

    Once you've had time to grieve, come out of it all knowing that you've had a lucky escape. Go out with your friends, if you meet her, you'll be ready because you gave yourself time to work through your emotions. If you see her with another man, it'll be hard but hold your head high. I really believe that people who are as callous as your girlfriend seems to be will always draw bad luck on themselves as a result of their actions

    Good luck


  • #10
    pwd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,284 ✭✭✭pwd


    katie99 wrote: »
    What girl or guy for that matter dumps their partner by text, or even by email?
    It shows a total immaturity, lack of respect, shallowness and downright ignorance and bad manners.
    I know you are probably driving yourself crazy trying to analysize why she dumped you.
    Well, the good news for you is that you have probably had a lucky escape, even if it was after four years.
    Just try very hard to ignore her. Don't show any hurt feelings and I agree that you shouldn't take her calls or texts or emails.
    She is not worth it.
    Go back to your own thread.
    A text after 4 years is completely different to an email after a month.


  • #11
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    pwd wrote: »
    Go back to your own thread.
    A text after 4 years is completely different to an email after a month.

    I think the poster has the right to post anywhere she wants to, especially as she gave the OP some good advice.

    Think it's rather unfair of you to comment on this girl's thread when she didn't bring her own circumstances into the OP's thread.

    Not very nice at all.


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  • #12
    pwd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,284 ✭✭✭pwd


    really? It sounded to me like she was just using the thread to bitch about her own issue.


  • #13
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    pwd wrote: »
    really? It sounded to me like she was just using the thread to bitch about her own issue.

    I feel she was drawing on her own experiences as they were similar. She didn't bring her own stuff into it though and she echoed what the other posters were saying.

    Most people that offer advice on these threads have been in a similar situation themselves and can identify with the OP. I think this is the case here.

    Had she mentioned her own scenario in the OP's thread, then I would agree with you. But she didn't and IMO offered good advice to the OP.

    Anyhoo....

    /derail


  • #14
    pwd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,284 ✭✭✭pwd


    Her experience isn't remotely similar. It's rather dismissive of the op's situation to suggest it is.


  • #15
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    pwd wrote: »
    Her experience isn't remotely similar. It's rather dismissive of the op's situation to suggest it is.

    You're taking me up wrong there mate. :)

    Both were dumped by electronic means. So that's the similar experience the poster had to the OP. But i'm not saying that's my opinion. It is probably her's though as she posted in this thread.

    I'm not getting into the 4 years v's 1 month debate. Frankly, I have no opinion on it. I am not being dismissive to the OP in the slightest. Way to twist my words.

    My point is - it's quite rude to tell someone to 'get back to their own thread' when they can post wherever they like.


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