Quick Question

dan_d

I'm not sure if this is parenting based but I'll throw it out there...
I live in a semi -d in a housing estate. We moved in about a year ago, and in that time, we've built a wall in the side passage between our house and the neighbours. It's about 6 foot high, with a gate at the front. The original gate at the back end of the passage is also there, so it's locked at both ends.
So anyway, this raised no eyebrows til recently. A few weeks ago I became aware of voices in our side entrance. Further investigation led me to realise that the local kids were playing a game, and were in the side entrance hiding (or something!). They had gone into the passage of the house next door, climbed the wall, and jumped down onto our wheeliebins (which are in the side entrance) to get in.
I passed no comment at the time, but since then I have gone out and caught them there, and told them to get out. We have no children and don't know any of the kids in the neighbourhood. The houses all have individual gardens with walls/bushes dividing them...it's not exactly common ground. The kids do run through all the front gardens playing, but I though this was going too far. They were literally getting into the back garden of a stranger's house - not just one of them, but 5 or 6 of them - and playing there - screaming and roaring. Apart from anything else, all it takes is for the wheelie bin to move while one of them jumps on or off, and they end up breaking their jaw on the top of the wall. These are older kids too - about 9 yrs old, to at least 12 yrs old, boys and girls. The estate is very quiet with a big green area, and they have a huge amount of space to play in - and there is not one other house they are doing this in.
I just want to know do people think I'm over reacting here? I know kids will be kids, and they're not bad kids in any way, but I do think they are old enough to know better than to be in a strangers side entrance/back garden. I turn a blind eye to running through the front gardens, but I thought this was a step too far. I'd just appreciate a few opinions on this, as most people think I'm not over reacting and I'm right, but I feel a bit stupid about it sometimes!!!

Nevyn

I think you are right to be concerned if any of them falls and breaks their leg while jumping down or falls of the wheelie bin you can be sued. Also who knows what they might get up to in years to come.

forestfruits

Move the bins for a while and see if they just forget about it and go away- kids bore easily and will soon figure out some other strangeness to get up to;)

tim_holsters

You've done the right thing IMO best to try and nip these things in the bud before they escalate.

Deliverance

Not entirely sure about what you are asking. The bottom line for you I imagine is to not have youths in your garden or in your private space in an area where kids will find ways of climbing and seeing what is over that wall. That is totally natural for them.

The 6foot wall that you built for a start was a mistake. A 6foot wall is an invitation to see what is over that wall and is easily climbed, sat upon and jumped off. In fact any child of the age you mentioned will climb that wall. to see what is beyond it as an adventure.

One option is barbed wire on top of the wall, this is rather antisocial though. other than that I would think that you just have to get used to living in an area that has lots of adventerous kids that mean no harm.

You just have to get used to living next to them and get on with it. Other than that buy your own house in the country.

smelltheglove

The local shop where I used to live as a kid used to put a guey covering on the top of the wall to stop people sitting on it, maybe try this but I would also let the parents know if possible that the kids are doing this. You dont want to get any strange glances either for allowing kids to play in your back yard, if you get me. I have to say I would be very annoyed if the kids around here went into my back, even if they play with my kids they need permission first.

axel rose

The 6foot wall that you built for a start was a mistake. A 6foot wall is an invitation to see what is over that wall and is easily climbed, sat upon and jumped off. In fact any child of the age you mentioned will climb that wall. to see what is beyond it as an adventure.

Err no. If the op wants to build a wall of 6 inches or 6 feet then it should be of no concern of kids who clearly have no respect for privacy or boundaries.

If you think you can speak to the parents, do so. Failing that put one of the following in top of the wall

• Burglar paint (need to seal wall first and expensive but lasts years)
• oil, be it old car oil, cooking oil-once it wrecks tracksuits what do you care?
• damp fire ashes-wrecks clothes but washes out.
• dog sh1t- I'm that evil

Personally I used the burglar paint and yes its legal as it is not reasonable for someone to climb or sit on a 6ft wall according to the guards.

You are absolutely entitled to expect and ensure privacy in your own back garden.

Deliverance

lol, burglar paint sounds good. The OP is talking about screaming 'kids' though as an annoyance. Not tracksuited hoodies invading the space.

axel rose

The way I read it is that these kids are climbing over the wall and into the back garden. Am I wrong?
If screaming kids is the problem then estate living is not the solution.

dan_d

Screaming kids is not the problem.
Kids coming in over a wall, behind a locked gate through the side entrances of 2 houses where no children live is the problem.
If the neighbours had kids, who were with these ones I'd have no problem. But they don't have any.
The wall is not the problem. Almost every house on the street has a wall between them. The gate is not the problem. The problem is that for some reason these kids seem to think it's ok to come into somebody else's private back garden, when they don't know the people at all.
I grew up in a housing estate, btw. I remember being a kid, in a very similar area. We played around people's front gardens alright, but only those of the other children we were playing with. And I have absolutely no problem with living in an estate. This is a very recent thing.
The estate we are in is a cul de sac, and we're right at the very back of it. No through traffic at all. It's an older estate, so each house has it's own, fairly big, garden areas. To say there's acres of green area aswell, with even a small forest, is an understatement.Again I appreciate kids will be kids, but I think these are old enough to know better than to be in somebody else's obviously private garden area like that.
I am hoping they'll lose interest, but I'm a bit irritated that I have to wait around for that!!I know not everyone is going to agree with me, but at least the fairly general consensus is that I'm not nuts to be a bit annoyed by this.

Nevyn

I would suggest that you become know to them.
It;s easy to pick on the house of someone who is a stranger and who can't go and have a word with your parents cos they don't know who you are and where you live.

tscul32

When we moved into our semi we had a side passage with no gate, so free access to the back. Heard a noise one day while in the kitchen and my husband went out to find kids from a couple of doors down pushing our wheelie bin down our side passage. When asked what they were doing, the reply was 'our dog is in your neighbour's garden so we're going to push your bin into your back garden to climb over the wall'. The worst bit was that they lived in the house on the other side of the neighbour so were told in no uncertain terms that they could climb in from their own garden. We installed a gate and have had no problems since.
At that time we had no kids and these kids would rarely see us. They were just chancing their arms (aged around 8), probably got told by their own parents not to climb over from their own garden. Maybe they thought we'd be out.
It should be enough to tell them that this is your garden and they can go play in their own. If they reappear then you track down the parents. Some kids don't seem to be aware of boundaries. As kids we 'knew' that you only played in the front gardens of houses if the kids who lived there were with you.

I wouldn't be putting up with it....

seamus

Have you tried taking your wheelie bins out of the side passage and putting them in the back garden? The kids won't climb in if they can't get out again.

dan_d

Seamus - yeah I think that's the next step. Bit annoying though, because we built the wall and new gate in order to store the wheelie bins around the side of the house and not in the garden. We have builder's trestles out there too, which we would need to find storage for too, as I'd be afraid that if there were no bins they'd use those, and they would definitely hurt themselves badly on them.
We've been friendly enough to them...they've knocked on the door looking for balls and whatever. But definitely wouldn't know them by name.Wouldn't even know how to approach them!!
Still, it's irritating that you can't even leave your side entrance as you want it, because there's kids who don't seem to realise that there are certain boundaries.

deisemum

You need to nip it in the bud, all you need is one accident and you'd be sued.

Before we converted our garage (joined onto house) it had a flat roof. One day I heard noise so looked in the garage, couldn't see anything but heard noise on the roof. I nearly died when I went outside and saw the neighbour's grandson who was about 3 or 4 at the time running around on the roof, not a bit of fear in him. He had climbed up on the wall by our alleyway and managed to get onto the roof.

Zuppy2

I've just had to have words with some kids outside my door. They're using my wife's car as a goalpost while playing hurling with a sliotar! They looked at me as if I had two heads. Some parents don't seem to care. Let them out the front door and do wht they want.
Dan d, I would move the bins and put the burglar paint on the walls. Best of luck.

cbyrd

We had an issue very similar to this a few years ago which resulted in us moving house. We had our front wall knocked block by block and even though we installed gates at sides of the house the kids thought because we were an end house we were an extention to the green. they used to climb into the back garden and throw the girls toys out onto the road
then we had our garage window(to the rear) smashed and then they'd climb in and rob icecream from the freezer..when the wall was knocked we called the guards, and guess what we were told... nothing they can do unless we have the culprits on camera. needless to say this was happening when we were out at work so chances of catching them was impossible.. these were kids of about 6 to 15 and the parents were the type to tell you where to go..
luckily one day i did manage to catch one of them kicking a football full force at our sitting room window and he saw me and legged it without his ball.. came back later to claim it and i told him to get his dad to collect it.. which he did.. we showed him the damage in the garden and the wall and showed him his son on tape.. there was about 6 of them in the garden at the time and told the dad anymore trouble and the tape would be given to the guards. he was shocked cos up to that he was very much 'my child wouldn't do that' the trouble died down after that but i was so distraught after that we moved to the country..
I'd make sure you have something to back up any accusations you go to with the parents..
as for putting stuff on your wall.. don't it's not legal in housing estates.. according to the guards.. any damage done to anyone from something you've put on your walls without a notice to say it's there leaves you open to be sued.. the only thing i tried that had any success was a couple of troughs of water under the wall..
it nearly cost me my sanity so make sure it's worth it before you start something.. kids love a challenge and if i was in the situation again i'd ignore it ... they will get bored if you can put up with it... it was when i had a go at them it escalated..
good luck with it anyhow

axel rose

as for putting stuff on your wall.. don't it's not legal in housing estates.. according to the guards.. any damage done to anyone from something you've put on your walls without a notice to say it's there leaves you open to be sued..

According to my local guards it is legal as long as you own the wall, does not cause injury and it is over a certain height (I forget how high).

I think it is to stop some eejit putting broken glass on top of a 6 ft wall or burglar paint on a 3ft wall.

I've had this paint on my 6ft wall for a number of years now, many tracksuits destroyed and no solicitors letter to date.

Deliverance

axel rose wrote: »

According to my local guards it is legal as long as you own the wall, does not cause injury and it is over a certain height (I forget how high).

under 7ft apparently is illegal;)

axel rose

Thank God scumbags know nothing

Deliverance

axel rose wrote: »

Thank God scumbags know nothing

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Scumbags know the law better than most decent folks to a degree. They catch up quick for all the wrong reasons.

axel rose

Not my knuckle draggers thank god. They resemble meercats when they get together.

Deliverance

axel rose wrote: »

Not my knuckle draggers thank god. They resemble meercats when they get together.

Aye I know what you mean. It is a strange mix really, people are massively different in lots of ways. When folks are forced to live together on estates then a learning process has to happen. The 'Meercats' will as you put so well as an analogy are the indigenous society that exist in some estates.

I'm not sure how that works or how it will work in time as an integration over time but I imagine that it will work as these estates mature?

It is not going to happen anytime soon really. I suppose that is life?

axel rose

I think massive estates in close proximity go against how humans are meant to live.
We evolved to live in close proximity with people we have bonds with. Sharing a common green area isn't good enough IMO. I've been in my estate for five years and know about 5 of my neighbours to say hello to. I doubt that's in any way unusual.

dan_d

Thanks for all the replies guys.
Well there's been no sign of them coming back. I didn't shout or scream or anything, just told them it's not good enough to be getting into other people's gardens like that.
I know we have it easy compared to some people. They are not trouble making kids, they were genuinely just playing, and they apologised profusely as they climbed back over the wall!
As estates go, it's about 12 years old and houses are fairly decent sized with proper gardens. Believe me, they don't lack for space to play in.
I'm pretty sure we could all live in these spaces, if there weren't so many parents out there who make a ife-long career out of adoring their children and took responsibility for their behaviour. Sorry to hear about you guys who've had so many problems.