Extenuating circumstances - feel awkward

I can't be bothered to go anon tbh!

Basically I'm doing a one year MA and since the beginning I've had health issues. Nothing life threatening but I was told I had a fairly serious infection in January - this was never proven and they now think I might not have, but at the time it caused me a huge amount of stress, I lost weight, I even got grey hairs! So whether or not I had it, the thought of having it completely threw me and took the focus off my studies. Before Christmas I'd been enjoying the course and keeping up very well. I still kept up well, never missed a class and never missed a weekly assignment but my head was elsewhere.

I had to have a pelvic scan and was racked with nerves waiting for it, when I got it it wasn't entirely bad news but I was told I had polycystic ovary syndrome which I hadn't known about, so that was quite depressing. I was also getting some bad bowel/digestion symptoms and I'd always been told I had IBS but now the Dr thinks it could be something else and I'm undergoing tests for that as well as hormone tests, insulin tests and many other kinds of tests. I also found out my last smear was abnormal, and as I had a history of abnormal smears, am being called back to the hospital. The appointment is in May when I'm meant to be studying for my exams and I'll probably have further tests for the other stuff then as well. I suffer from anxiety long term and was supposed to see a counsellor but have been waiting 10 weeks and nothing so far.

So....basically I think I might apply for consideration under extenuating circumstances - my course director thinks I definitely should but he doesn't know what's wrong medically. He said that anything that adversely affects your studies is a good reason, and that my mind being on this stuff counts. I guess I feel like a fraud or a cheat - I've never asked for anything like this before, never even had an extension on an essay. No matter what issues or anxieties I had, I always just plugged on as I didn't want to seem like an excuse maker or whiner. The thing is, I've been getting good grades as it is. Despite having loads of medical appointments (I must have had 20+ doctors visits, 2 scans, 3 consultant visits, 4-5 nurses visits minimum) I haven't missed a single class and I've been doing well - high 2:1s or firsts in my assignments and a 76% in my main essay. If I did apply for consideration, I might always be wondering how well I would've done on my own and if my grades got inflated, I might feel like I didn't deserve them? Even worse, I don't want the course director or panel to think I'm just being weak and silly and trying to get a better grade. I'm absolutely dying of anxiety morning, noon and night about all this. Any advice?

JonathanAnon

Hi Izzy, I think you're being too hard on yourself.

Firstly, the fact that you have been getting 2:1s despite having been told by your doctors that you had "a serious infection" should demonstrate to your peers and course director that you have been trying to work through despite adversity. If you are unhappy with applying for extenuating circumstances, as I probably would myself (but fortunately havent had to do), is it possible to defer the final set of exams til next year when you are better? Is there any reason why you would need a 1st or would a 2:1 be good enough for what you aspire to achieve. Could you try and push through the difficulties to achieve a 2:1?

I might always be wondering how well I would've done on my own and if my grades got inflated

Believe me, after you start working, this will NOT be something that will keep you awake at night. College quickly becomes a distant memory.

Ickle Magoo

Hey Izzy,

Forget what anyone thinks of you and forget feeling guilty, if you are granted consideration due to extenuating circumstances then they have judged your situation and found merit in your request.

Don't come away with less than you could have done because your pride got in the way of asking for a break. It sounds like you have had/are still having a bit of a horrendous time of things when everything is added up together & I agree with your course director, conclusive diagnosis or not, the stress of juggling everything is going to do you real harm. If you have the opportunity to delay study for a while to concentrate on your health - do it.

You'll be kicking yourself in 20 yrs if you get a lower grade than you think you should have, or you end up dropping out altogether just because you worried about what the board judging your request would think. Put yourself first, hun.

Best of luck & hope all goes well

S23

I know exactly what you feel and why you feel that way. You obviously set the bar high for yourself and are a real scrapper and a workhorse when it comes to something you have set your sights on.

However, you really need to give yourself a break. Leaving aside your health problems for a moment, as key in all this as they are, you're doing brilliantly as it is. You are getting to class and getting good grades, 76% on the essay. So you are above the median as it is.

Regardless of what your extenuating circumstances are no one is going to give you a 2:1 or a first just because they feel sorry for you. You'll get the grade you deserve. And if you deserve a little bit of leeway its only fair you get it.

I'd warrant a guess if you didn't have all this stuff to worry about you'd have firsts in everything and at least another 10-15% on your essay.

I've read enough of your posts on here to know you are a smart cookie. Now you just need to get some perspective on yourself and give yourself a break. You've done really well and all off your own bat so far. So if you have a heap of stuff coming up thats going to interfere with final preparations then you truly deserve some due consideration from the powers that be.

On a side note, I really do hope all your medical stuff works out. I'm quite the big baby when it comes to stuff like that so I can only imagine how stressful and trying its all been for you.
The last thing you need to do on top of all of that is give yourself a hard time.

So take some of your fellow boardsies advice and give yourself a break on this one. It will take the stress off yourself physically and probably help you perform better in the exams

Next thing you know you'll have a first in the MA and an all clear from the doctors with any luck!

tenchi-fan

People react to the stress of college in different ways, and in any year people will face challenges they need to overcome. I always felt I was competing against my classmates so I used to hate classmates who arrived in with doctors notes so they could get a few days extra to study for exams or get extended deadlines for projects.

Personally, I put on a lot of weight due to exam stress, and I put off doing so many other things too. I'd prefer to defer my course for a year than to get my grades inflated & if I did get them inflated it's something I wouldn't admit to.

That's my opinion.

JonathanAnon

Thanks for replying!

JonathanAnon wrote: »

Hi Izzy, I think you're being too hard on yourself.

Firstly, the fact that you have been getting 2:1s despite having been told by your doctors that you had "a serious infection" should demonstrate to your peers and course director that you have been trying to work through despite adversity. If you are unhappy with applying for extenuating circumstances, as I probably would myself (but fortunately havent had to do), is it possible to defer the final set of exams til next year when you are better? Is there any reason why you would need a 1st or would a 2:1 be good enough for what you aspire to achieve. Could you try and push through the difficulties to achieve a 2:1?

I'm always too hard on myself In one way I was even a bit embarrassed about doing so well after going to my course director all panicked that I was going to fail through lack of work and focus. But at least now nobody can accuse me of trying to do better than I deserve to. As for the exams, these are my only exams, it's a one year Masters. There are no firsts or whatever overall, it's either a Distinction or Pass and obviously I want to do as well as I can. It's not really possible to defer the exams except in extreme circumstances, as it would require them making an exam just for me. So that's why I was told to do the 'extenuating circumstances thing' - that or just muddle through. I am feeling a lot of pressure in that the course is so short and SO much work, and also that I'm the student who was given a very competitive scholarship based on academic merit, so I feel under pressure to perform so to speak.

Believe me, after you start working, this will NOT be something that will keep you awake at night. College quickly becomes a distant memory.

Actually, I have been working for the last few years, the main reason I wanted to go back to college was that I felt underqualified for everything I wanted to do - I narrowly missed out on a First in my undergrad exams (ill health and anxiety then too) and it has closed quite a few doors.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Hey Izzy,

Forget what anyone thinks of you and forget feeling guilty, if you are granted consideration due to extenuating circumstances then they have judged your situation and found merit in your request.

That's what I think. I'm also kind of nervous about doing it because if they DON'T grant me it, I'll feel like they thought I was just trying my luck or something.

Don't come away with less than you could have done because your pride got in the way of asking for a break. It sounds like you have had/are still having a bit of a horrendous time of things when everything is added up together & I agree with your course director, conclusive diagnosis or not, the stress of juggling everything is going to do you real harm. If you have the opportunity to delay study for a while to concentrate on your health - do it.

Can't really delay it because of my scholarship and my rent commitments. I guess I am having a really hard time. It's not really any one thing, just a bunch of things. I really was on the verge of a nervous breakdown there a few weeks ago. When I got my smear test result I collapsed on the hall of my flat and howled for about an hour. I didn't even recognise the noise coming out of me, that's when I realised something was seriously wrong. I very rarely cry, I just felt like absolutely everything was going wrong for me. That day, I had to change my dissertation topic with a day's notice and come up with a new outline, I'd just been diagnosed with PCOS, my stomach issues were acting up, I was still stressed about this infection and then that letter popped through the door and I lost it. I am a proud person but I can admit that I nearly had a total breakdown.

You'll be kicking yourself in 20 yrs if you get a lower grade than you think you should have, or you end up dropping out altogether just because you worried about what the board judging your request would think. Put yourself first, hun.

Best of luck & hope all goes well

Hope so!

S23 wrote: »

I know exactly what you feel and why you feel that way. You obviously set the bar high for yourself and are a real scrapper and a workhorse when it comes to something you have set your sights on.

However, you really need to give yourself a break. Leaving aside your health problems for a moment, as key in all this as they are, you're doing brilliantly as it is. You are getting to class and getting good grades, 76% on the essay. So you are above the median as it is.

It was actually the highest in the year I was absolutely made up as I thought I'd scrape a pass. It was very unexpected, so I'm not exactly confident about the upcoming exams tho, feel like it could have been a fluke and right now I feel quite underprepared, like it could really go either way.

Regardless of what your extenuating circumstances are no one is going to give you a 2:1 or a first just because they feel sorry for you. You'll get the grade you deserve. And if you deserve a little bit of leeway its only fair you get it.

I'd warrant a guess if you didn't have all this stuff to worry about you'd have firsts in everything and at least another 10-15% on your essay.

It's kind of crazy to think about, but perhaps that would be true.

I've read enough of your posts on here to know you are a smart cookie. Now you just need to get some perspective on yourself and give yourself a break. You've done really well and all off your own bat so far. So if you have a heap of stuff coming up thats going to interfere with final preparations then you truly deserve some due consideration from the powers that be.

On a side note, I really do hope all your medical stuff works out. I'm quite the big baby when it comes to stuff like that so I can only imagine how stressful and trying its all been for you.
The last thing you need to do on top of all of that is give yourself a hard time.

So take some of your fellow boardsies advice and give yourself a break on this one. It will take the stress off yourself physically and probably help you perform better in the exams

Next thing you know you'll have a first in the MA and an all clear from the doctors with any luck!

I don't think it's ever gonna be a total all clear but it could be a hell of a lot better than I was thinking. I am trying to stay optimistic! Like, I know things really aren't that bad, it's just that they're all happening at once. I will try to give myself a break. I keep going back and forth. On one hand, I think 'stop being a baby, some people have cancer etc' and on the other I see many of my classmates with sweet F.A to worry about beyond their studies, at least not at all healthwise, and think how unfair it is. But I will try to believe I do deserve a bit of a break! Now I only hope it will be granted!

tenchi-fan

tenchi-fan wrote: »

People react to the stress of college in different ways, and in any year people will face challenges they need to overcome. I always felt I was competing against my classmates so I used to hate classmates who arrived in with doctors notes so they could get a few days extra to study for exams or get extended deadlines for projects.

Personally, I put on a lot of weight due to exam stress, and I put off doing so many other things too. I'd prefer to defer my course for a year than to get my grades inflated & if I did get them inflated it's something I wouldn't admit to.

That's my opinion.

Well see this is the sort of opinion I was afraid of. The thing is, I have had challenges every year, I've always had health problems but this year has been horrendous. As I said, I've never ever handed in anything a minute late, or got an extension or any kind of special treatment. I also used to get annoyed when people got extensions for flimsy excuses, so I wouldn't ask unless I was desperate.

I can't defer my course for a year, so it's either ask for consideration, or just do my best. If I did get consideration, it probably would always be in my head that I might not have done that well on my own but on the other hand, a below par grade on my CV will haunt me forever as well.

It's not just a personal feeling that 'ooh I'm a bit stressed' either, btw. There hasn't been a week since December when I haven't had at least one medical appointment, and it's often two or three, and they're often two or three hours in total. So with travel time and so on it can sometimes be an entire day off. That takes a HELL of a lot of time out of your week when you're doing a full time MA - I have to arrange the appointments around classes as it is, so what should be 'study time' has been 'hospital time' for a long time now. And then the worries about results play on my mind 24/7. I really really just want to be like everyone else but I know my classmates aren't constantly at the hospital, doctor or pharmacy. This has been a good week for me, and I still spent 2 hours on Monday going for blood tests, and tomorrow I have to leave a sample in, takes up a LOT of time!

Taltos

[quote=[Deleted User];65394600]Well see this is the sort of opinion I was afraid of. [/QUOTE]

There is a hell of a difference from those who have a valid health issue and those just taking the p1ss.

You are most definitely not in the 2nd bucket by the way.
As a poster mentioned once you are working for a few years college becomes a distant dream - all you need to do right now is focus on getting well/finding out the cause, managing your college commitments - and using ALL tools open to you - that includes med certs.

Do not feel embarrassed, ashamed or guilty - harder to do I know. Just do what you can but make sure that those that need to know do know - so that they can help you.

There will always be the begrudgers that might make snide comments, you know what - let them. Chances are folk like that will just find someone else to comment on or something else to excuse their own poor performance. As to the gray hairs - these can actually be very distinctive / attractive - and just shows you have some life experience (that means I have LOADS by the way )

LegacyUser

[quote=[Deleted User];65394600]Well see this is the sort of opinion I was afraid of.[/QUOTE]

Izzy, I agree with the last comment by Taltos. Don't feel embarrased, ashamed or guilty. And take no notice of the begrudgers. Your health is the most importnat thing here, WAY more importnat than the begrudging attitudes of some people.

Also, the options you discuss are in place for a reason. Sure they maybe abused but in your case, it sounds 100% legitimate and only fair.

Take care and try and give yourself a break. By the sounds of it, you are going through a lot and you have nothing to feel bad about.

LegacyUser

I just wanted to set something straight as a lecturer - we do not "inflate" grades for extenuating circumstances. There are several options available, but what typically happens is that we negotiate with the student to offer extensions or other slight variations to the required assessment to ensure that their medical issues do not impact their ability to perform. In extreme circumstances, an examination board may look at overall performance if there is one unusually low grade (ie you normally had As but had a D for one exam that was held whilst you were very ill" - in this case, it's not a matter of "inflating" grades but rather looking at other indicators of performance (assignments etc) and making a judgement about whether or not to include the outlier grade or to give you the opportunity to take the test again or some other variation. So if you apply for extenuating circumstances, and you receive your Distinction grade, it is absolutely NOT a matter of you not having earned it - so please disavow yourself of that notion completely! We are not in the business of saying "oh you were sick - here you go, have an A"!

What I would say is that is that the process is in place to support genuine cases. If I have another student ask for an extension based on "sure I had a cold for a few days" I will probably toss the nearest heaviest object at them! This is called "life" - deal with it. In your situation, this is a series of serious medical problems coupled with ongoing treatments and investigations and the fact that you've been able to manage well till now is not to say that it won't impact you at some later point.

I would strongly recommend you submit your application, particularly if your course director is supportive. You are NOT obliged to reveal personal medical information to academic staff. If you feel someone on campus needs to know the details, then you can talk to a (confidential) student counsellor who can support your case and indicate a level of severity to the course director, rather than specific details of your situation. Personally, I prefer NOT to know a student's personal information because I worry that they may wonder whether this information factors into other decisions I need to make about them, their performance or their progress (it doesn't - I usually don't remember - but I don't want them to wonder about it all the same). And of course you should have med certs from your doctor to indicate the dates that you were affected.

In the end, you may not need this application, but it is better to submit it now rather than later.

Best of luck. And well done on the grades!