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blip in counselling

  • 13-04-2010 12:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i have been in counselling for the past few months and I have really made some good progress on myself. I have a limited time left with my counsellor as I am leaving the country so i am really trying to push myself to get the most out of my sessions.

    I have realised though that I just cannot let myself totally relax in my sessions- I feel very much on the "hot seat" so to speak. I trust my counsellor and I know she isnt making judgements on what I say and how I feel but when it comes to this particular issue that we are working on (that i really want to work on), I cant let myself be completely honest.

    I cant cry in front of my counsellor no matter how upset and tearful i get. I always manage to steer the conversation away from what's upsetting, to the point where we both forget what it was that upset me! When I speak it sounds very rehearsed to me...even though I havent rehearsed it at all.
    I just feel very vulnerable on this particular subject and I feel like I am skirting around the issue and wasting my time in the sessions. At least I am aware of what I am doing, but how do I get past this?

    Has anyone had a similar experience? and if so how did you get around it?


Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    I'd tell the counselor this (that you feel a bit rehearsed and are steering the conversation away from what keeps upsetting you) and take it from there.


  • #3
    Sanjuro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭Sanjuro


    Hey OP. If there's anything I can say to you about counselling, it's not to try and force anything. If you don't feel able to cry, then don't. It's not something you can make happen. I know it can feel very awkward sitting there and trying to tell a stranger every deep feeling an emotion. But the counsellor is just a facilitator for you to work on yourself. Don't feel like you've failed just because you don't shed a tear. I was in counselling for two and a half years, and I only welled-up once in that time. But it was still one of the best things I've ever done (the counselling, not the welling-up!)

    Take it a session at a time. There are no rules for counselling. You mostly dictate the pace yourself. But don't feel like the counsellor is judging you, and you must put up a wall, so to speak. It can take a long time to have a break-through, whatever form that may manifest itself in. I know you have a limited time until you're finished, but if I was to say one more thing, I'd say don't give up until you feel you're ready to. Best of luck with it, anyway. Hope this helped a little.


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