Insecurities & Drinking

sunshine16

Im concerned about a few issues I have and wonder can anyone help me.

I am in a new relationship which is going very well we are together since last July although we dont live in the same country so its not like a normal relationship as its once every month say that we see eachother but its going very well and all the signs are there.

A thing happened now twice recently that I am really worried about and want desperately to fix it. I am a very insecure girl, even though I have no reason to be, am outgoing and good looking and all the rest, I have a fear when I meet someone I like that I will lose them so am always worrying about "does he love me" kinda thing and all that rubbish.

While out with him one time I had too much to drink (which is my other problem) and my insecurities came out....I have know for a good few years that for some reason when I drink too much I can turn, angry, nasty or argumentitive, not nice qualities at all. This has happened twice now with him and at the weekend I thought I nearly blew it with him for good.

So I am planning on changing my ways...ie: not drinking like I normally do, and looking into how to calm myself and be more of a peaceful person and not up tight about things. Also trying to see what I can do to feel more secure in myself.

Has anyone got any ideas or know of any groups I can join to help with the insecurity. The drinking, I was gona go to AA but I dont think its that bad, I am just going to see if I can learn to only drink a small amount on a night out and know my limit. I am perfectly fine with him when we are out and we just have a few ie: 3/4.

I am in my late 30ies and really need to sort this out once and for all.

If anyone can help I would be very grateful.

LegacyUser

Hi OP. I once went out with a girl who's insecurities would come out like that when she had alcohol on her. She would get really angry and lash out at me. She went to a councillor eventually who told her that it was misplaced anger. It wasn't the alcohol that effected her but this brought it on. Something really big and life changing happened to her as a child. She repressed this and never dealt with it so it came out in other ways such as with the drinking. Are you sure this isn't whats going on with you?

Shayman

You sound like you may need anger management counselling? I don't think AA is what you need (from what you say). Do you tend to get angry without drink? Or is drink the catalyst?

sunshine16

Hi guys,

To the first reply, although I think yes I am holding onto anger for some reason for something I dont know what it could be. I do tend to get annoyed easy, and know this is an area I have to work on, and am so I am trying meditation and ill try whatever else it takes to slow me down abit more. So yea maybe anger management also will help.

I take after my dad, reacting quick to things and different situations, so If I can learn to relax and slow down I this might help overall. And also to learn not to get soo annoyed about things eg: the cleaning and things like that so...ill take whatever advice I can and please God it will work for me.

Thank you all.

LegacyUser

Hi. Thats great that you're doing something to help yourself with it. everybody gets annoyed about things sometimes so just make sure not to hold back everything. Maybe your bf really likes to see that passion sometimes. I wish you the absolute best of luck.

sunshine16

Thanks Guys, Thank you for all your help....and I will try my best to change these negitve responses. xx