Why bother?

LegacyUser

I was seeing this guy at christmas for a bit, was going well but then he decided he didnt know what he wanted . So that was fine, we kept in touch here and there with the odd text and then got the message that he just didnt want to keep contact so i left it.

2 months later (last weekend) i get a text asking how i was and that he had been thinking about me a lot the last week or 2 so plucked up courage to contact me. We ended up meeting up last week for an hour or so and it went well. Said he'd be in touch. I sent a text saying was nice to see him and hope to see him again soon but got no reply back.

No word then for 4 days and i get a message wondering was i going to be out on sat night but i wasnt so told him that. I asked if he fancied doing something on the sunday instead if he wasnt busy but no reply.

I rang on sunday afternoon wondering if he fancied meeting up but no answer and left a voicemail. Only got a reply to few hours later saying he was out doing something and would give me a call later. Im still waiting on the call.

So im just wondering, why bother making contact at all in the first place and saying he was thinking of me etc and wanting to meet up and then just not be not that bothered?

Last time we were seeing each other i prob did more of the chasing and contacting first and he didnt seem to know what he wanted, so i said i wouldnt annoy him by contacting him too much this time and he just doesnt seem bothered even though he was the one who got back in contact with me first and seemed to want to actually want to see me. I havent contacted him since sun as he said he would give me a shout later.

Should i just leave it now and see if he does get back to me? Dont want to be made an eejit out of myself either by running after him. I have made the effort to contact and meet up already.

Just wondering do people do this to just waste your time or play stupid games. I mean no one is that busy that they cant reply to a call/text or make an effort other than the pub on a sat night to meet up. If he wasnt that bothered then why make contact in the first place again.

Kiera

Don’t contact him again. It sounds like you’re his ego boost. You still went running after all that time and now after all the texts and calls he thinks he has you for whenever he needs to feel wanted.

Ickle Magoo

Perhaps he was lonely? Or horny and hoping you'd oblige?

Who knows why he's mucking you about and expecting you to be at his beck & call but the fact he is just a couple of dates in doesn't scream that he's at all interested in you or not hurting your feelings, consider yourself well rid & steer well clear of any "offers" from him in the future.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

He's a head wrecker. Change his name on your phone to 'Don't answer' or 'headwrecker' because if you delete his number, he'll contact you again and you might answer not knowing it's him (a very handy tip I got from a friend!!).
Having their name down as 'headwrecker' is also a good reminder of the sort of person they are ; )

mood

Just forget about him and move on. I would just tell him you don't want to stay in contact if her calls or texts again.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

Think i just really need to hear it from others what a timewaster he is. Suppose because i like him that i was hoping he would make an effort this time and i always try to see the good in people and give them a chance. But hes had plenty and i keep getting my hopes up and nothing comes of it.

I deffo wont be contacting him thats for sure.

Cullen82

Yeah he's 100% not interested in having a relationship with you - as someone said before you're his ego boost. Don't bother with him anymore - he's bound to let you down again whatever happens.

yermandan

Take your control back, just dont answer any calls or texts anymore. If you keep replying then your self-esteem will fall even more. Find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Its really that simple hun!!

Best of luck

miec

Change his name on your phone to 'Don't answer' or 'headwrecker' because if you delete his number

Lol, that has to be the best advice I've come across for a long time. Yes Op sadly I think you were his ego booster, I've experienced similar in the past.

road_high

Think you summed it up best yourself OP; "Why bother" indeed?! Not worth the energy or effort imo.

JonathanAnon

Yeah I think those above are right. I have a friend who is a bit of a Casanova, he will text about three of four women casually before the sat nite.. increases the chances of getting sex.

He hasnt responded to your suggestion of Sunday afternoon as he knows that he wont be getting sex, and there's no incentive to reply. I'd say you are wasting your time. Unless you just want a casual fb.

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

You need to get your pride and dignity gland checked, that guy is a pathetic assh*le just looking for an ego boost. Seriously you can do way better than that. You know the saying "hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned"? You need to prove that saying, he's scorned you, now muster up that female pride and dignity, chin up, shoulders back and don't ever answer his messages or calls again, you can do much better. Don't ever be an ego boost for someone because the only people that use others for an ego boost are absolutely weak and pathetic, why else would they need to use other people like that?

And don't be sad it seriously sounds like you've had a lucky escape, wait for a real man to come along and you'll realise just how lucky you were that you saw through him.

Best of luck.

Miss Fluff

He's looking for an ego boost and/or a f8ck buddy.

He knows you like him so he's happy to exploit that to his own ends. Rather than ask you out on a proper date, he asks if you're around on Saturday so he can perhaps hook up with you for some NSA fun that night knowing you will be all too willing. Same happened me recently.

You'll feel far more in control if you actually choose to ignore him. Good advice on changing his number to "Headwreck", don't even grace him with a response.

I spent a year being MAD ABOUT a guy who picked me up and dumped me at his leisure, causing me upset and did nothing to boost my self-esteem. He now texts at least once a week telling me he misses me and is thinking of me (he is now living with a GF/fiancee), and I've not once responded to his texts. It just makes me see what a pathetic and vile creature he is and how much I've moved on.

This guy is not worth it girl, don't entertain him any more. It will give you enormous satisfaction to know that you're no longer at his beck and call.