single sexual partner

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I am 27 and my girl friend is 26, we have been together for nearly 6 years. We are very happy, love each other and all the rest but a worry has been lingering in the back of my head, I have slept with around 15 people but she has only slept with me, the difference if not an issue for me and I am pretty sure it isn’t an issue for her. However, a few years ago I was due to go travelling and we discussed what we would do, i.e. break-up, go on a break, stay together while I was away, etc. In the end it never happened due to my mates pulling out… At the time I was pushing for taking a break as I didn’t think it was likely I was going to stay faithful to her and she seemed agreeable and said it would give her an opportunity to experience a few more men.
As I said in the end I never went away and we have been really happy since. I can see this relationship going the whole way but since I have heard of the affairs this thought has arisen to me again, will the single sexual partner thing become an issue in the future? Maybe not now, but lets say in 10-15 years for instance.

Thanks

dudara

Who kows what will happen in the future? We don't have crystal balls.

But all I can say is that it's entirely possible to be happy with one sexual partner over the course of a lifetime.

Questions of fidelity will come up many times over the course of a relationship - regardless of whether it's one year in or twenty years in. The key thing is to keep communicating with each other.

LegacyUser

I think all woman like to have a dirty little secret. That night they picked up a guy in a club and banged all night. It's just something to make them feels sex and they are not missing out on anything. I have slept with woman who wanted one last fling before their wedding (weeks away) woman who wanted to see what sex was like with another person.

There is nothing you can do about this. You can't say "Hey baby I thing you should go have a fling now, to stop you having one in the future". I'm very confident and secure, but based on my experience, it would worry me if my long term partner had never slept with another man.

niceoneted

Not that this is going to happen but a female friend of mine was in the same boat as your girlfriend. She married the guy but anytime the relationship was not good she always wondered what it was like to be with another man - it didn't help that I and other friends had been with a few and some including myself had both shi*e and amazing experiences which she knew about. She began to wonder and after about 15 yrs of marriage when she had gotten persistent offers from one particular guy that she went for it.

While the experience was great she felt guilt straight away, told the husband, explained why she did it (she basically wanted to experience being with someone else and while the alternative was better than she had had with husband she loved him and wanted to stay) was happy to stay with him etc. He says he understands and forgives her.
Fast forward about 5 yrs and he ends up having 3 affairs simultaneously and claims he was just wanting to get her back.
she threw him out/ asked him to leave what ever way you want to put it. he is still with one of the women he was having an affair with.
Kids are miserable.
One other thing is this friend met someone briefly for relationship which involved sex and she now is questioning why she put up with poor sex all her married life as this new encounter was out of this world apparently.
If you asked me they had a great marriage.
I know it might not happen to you especially if you are satisfying your gf, and if your not make sure you do and keep lines of communication in relation to that area open.

LegacyUser

niceoneted wrote: »

One other thing is this friend met someone briefly for relationship which involved sex and she now is questioning why she put up with poor sex all her married life as this new encounter was out of this world apparently.
If you asked me they had a great marriage.
I know it might not happen to you especially if you are satisfying your gf, and if your not make sure you do and keep lines of communication in relation to that area open.

That the sex was out of this world is not true. It's just that she was experiencing something new, with a different person that made it great. Not the actual quality of the sex, ie feels and emotions play as much a part as the physical act when it come to enjoying sex. Plus I'd say she is trying to put on a show after loosing her husband, pretending she's better off with out him.

Peggypeg

hey op,

i wouldn't worry if i were you, i'm 28 and i've slept with two men, the first i was with for 5 years and my current bf of four years. i've never been bothered by the fact i haven't slept with more guys. i think the sex is great when it's with someone you love, i don't imagine it could be as good with a stranger coz they don't know what you like? i'm not sure if that helps but with me anyways it has never been a regret and i've never been tempted to cheat, hope that helps.

Ickle Magoo

People who have had many partners can be unfaithful as people who have had only one can be completely faithful, there are no guarantees regardless of sexual history. Maintaining a long term relationship and not letting things go stale or resentment build is hard work for every couple and it only happens by talking, talking, talking about everything and ensuring both parties are happy and satisfied.

Best of luck.