A bit of advice needed

scudzilla

They say that funerals bring out the best and worst of people, well i need some advice on this one.
My Grandad died last Monday, he was 91, he'd had a great life, served all 6 years of WW2 and was the greatest man i ever knew.

Here's the problem

I have 3 kids by my ex, they live back in Wales in my hometown. Now me and my ex just DO NOT get on, at all, we sorta hate each other. I left her 8 years ago. 3 Years ago she went and got herself knocked up by a guy she met on the internet and had a kid

I've no problem at all about her coming to the funeral, pay her respects or whatever it is she does.

But tonight i found out that when the vicar reads out the family's names at the funeral, he is going to include HER KID in the great grandchildren section!!!

This kid has nothing to do with him, she just happens to be my kids half sister. Yeah, she saw my grandad a few times and he got on ok wit her.

I've heard that the ok for this came from my Nan.

Am i being a petty cnut by letting this really get to me? Would any of you peeps put up wit it?

OutlawPete

Just be the bigger person and ignore it.

She'll be gone back hone soon after.

Get drunk, drink to your Grandad, and don't think about her .. it's his day afterall.

rockmongrel

And you came to the AH for help?....
Good call....

scudzilla

rockmongrel wrote: »

And you came to the AH for help?....
Good call....

yeah, tried figuring where to put it, couldn't find anywhere so thought fcuk it, AH it is

Rabies

Its a kid!

This kid will ask the awkward question as to why his/her name wasn't called out.
Allow the kid to feel proud for his/her grandparent that died, even if they didn't know them that well or even blood family

Yes, you are being a petty ****

MrStuffins

First of all man, sorry for your loss.

For me i would just leave it. The day should be about celebrating and mourning your grandad. And although you hate your ex, it's hardly the ex's name you're worried about, it's the blameless child.

At the end of the day it's only a name being said by a priest. I wouldn't make a big deal of it.

we'llallhavetea_old

AH prob not the best place for this op, but anyway..

i think you're upset that your grandad has died and you wanna be pissed at someone.

don't let it get to you. if your grandad was a brilliant man, he wouldn't mind. and the child is just a child. your childrens sibling.

sorry to hear bout your grandad x

scudzilla

Rabies wrote: »

Its a kid!

This kid will ask the awkward question as to why his/her name wasn't called out.
Allow the kid to feel proud for his/her grandparent that died, even if they didn't know them that well or even bloody family

Yes, you are being a petty ****

That's why i posted it here in AH, some straight talking, cheers

MrStuffins

scudzilla wrote: »

That's why i posted it here in AH, some straight talking, cheers

I think coming to AH for advice like that is a great idea.

Otherwise you go to Personal Issues or whatever and have people respecting your feeling and stuff!

Feck that!

m@cc@

Yes it is petty. And it's not acceptable to say 'we don't get on'. Fair enough, you may not like each other, but you make the best of it for the kids sake.

scudzilla

m@cc@ wrote: »

Yes it is petty. And it's not acceptable to say 'we don't get on'. Fair enough, you may not like each other, but you make the best of it for the kids sake.

Nah, even my kids, 18,16 & 14 realise that is never gonna happen and find it best that we avoid each other.

BTW, this other kid is 2

m@cc@

scudzilla wrote: »

Nah, even my kids, 18,16 & 14 realise that is never gonna happen and find it best that we avoid each other.

BTW, this other kid is 2

You'll look pretty petty if you raise objections to it. Most of the congregation will know the score anyway, keep schtum and you'll come out of it smelling of roses.

seanybiker

to be honest, yes you are being petty. Whats wrong with her having your kids and their half brother involved?it only takes a second to mention the child. Honestly, how is that gonna ruin the funeral.
Personally I think you sound as if you still have feelings for your ex. She got, as you said "knocked up" a few times off you. Why should the other child be made to feel an outcast?

scudzilla

Thanks for the replies, MODS, If ya could close this now, glad to get some straight talking advice from AH, rather than some do gooder counseling on certain other forums :rolleyes::rolleyes:


And for the last poster, there is no way on this planet i still have feelins for her, i'd rather cut my balls off

4zn76tysfajdxp

You should have sex with her.

m@cc@

scudzilla wrote: »

And for the last poster, there is no way on this planet i still have feelins for her, i'd rather cut my balls off

You probably should, just incase.

scudzilla

Alexandria Scruffy Miser wrote: »

You should have sex with her.

SHE'S FCUKIN 2!!!!!!!!!! Freak

scudzilla

m@cc@ wrote: »

You probably should, just incase.

I know i'm Welsh, but unlike my fellow countryman here i'll be keepin my balls

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article191436.ece

4zn76tysfajdxp

scudzilla wrote: »

SHE'S FCUKIN 2!!!!!!!!!! Freak

I...uhhh... meant the ex...


Funny how you jumped to that conclusion and then accused me of being the freak.

recylingbin

My advice would be to put go fast stripes and a spoiler on the coffin. He'd have appreciated that.

ballsymchugh

raise it with the vicar yourself, ask him to scribble the name out. i'm probably a cnut now too, but i don't think it's petty.
actually it is, but i'd still prefer that the kid's name wasn't read out with your own kids. after all, she's not a relative.

then as frada said, have a cut off the ex.

Rabies

scudzilla wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, MODS, If ya could close this now, glad to get some straight talking advice from AH, rather than some do gooder counseling on certain other forums :rolleyes::rolleyes:


And for the last poster, there is no way on this planet i still have feelins for her, i'd rather cut my balls off

Done