Engagement rings

elius

Hi all,
Hoping to pop the question in the very near future to my misses:)...
I was planning on giving her my nans wedding ring which my mother suggested.
Is this
1: Bad idea?
2: Good idea?

Not really in a financial position to buy a ring at the moment..
Any thoughts welcome!!!
Thanks!!!!

amdublin

elius wrote: »

Hi all,
Hoping to pop the question in the very near future to my misses:)...
I was planning on giving her my nans wedding ring which my mother suggested.
Is this
1: Bad idea?
2: Good idea?

Not really in a financial position to buy a ring at the moment..
Any thoughts welcome!!!
Thanks!!!!

Imo it's a lovely idea. Good luck!

tinkerbell

Do you plan on having your nana's wedding ring as your fiancee's engagement ring or her actual wedding ring?

I'm not too sure what to comment on this, I think it could be a nice idea. For me, I'd rather have my own new engagement ring and keep the family heirloom as another ring to wear on a different finger.

If you think your girlfriend will like it, then go ahead. I assume your mother was just suggesting the idea rather than telling you that you have to use your nana's ring?

Glowing

I think it's a lovely idea too, but it DOES depend on what type of lady your girlfriend is!

If she's fairly traditional/sentimental then she'd probably love it! Though there are girls out there who would prefer their own ring however ... and you also need to think about the style of the ring - is she a bling-sort of girl or more quirky who loves vintage style jewellery?

I'd be delighted with the sentiment myself though ...

P.S If you're not in the financial position to buy a ring, then don't go stretching yourself if you can't afford it - I think this option is perfect for you - you can always save up in the mean time and buy a lovely wedding band for your future fiancee when the time comes

elius

Glowing wrote: »

I think it's a lovely idea too, but it DOES depend on what type of lady your girlfriend is!

If she's fairly traditional/sentimental then she'd probably love it! Though there are girls out there who would prefer their own ring however ... and you also need to think about the style of the ring - is she a bling-sort of girl or more quirky who loves vintage style jewellery?

I'd be delighted with the sentiment myself though ...

P.S If you're not in the financial position to buy a ring, then don't go stretching yourself if you can't afford it - I think this option is perfect for you - you can always save up in the mean time and buy a lovely wedding band for your future fiancee when the time comes

My thoughts too. I would rather she whore it as an engagement ring. And where bands as wedding rings we've been together 7yrs in may so will hopefully propose around then all going to plan. She's sentimental and i think she would like it she regularly wears her own nans jewelery so id imagine she would like it..

Glowing

What's it like BTW?

elius

I think its from about the 1930 or so its very old. She(mum) actually suggested she give me my two nans and hers to make into one ring and we could design it are selves. But i dont think its that cheap to do. Buy right do you have to produce a ring when popping the question? I think you do..

elius

Glowing wrote: »

What's it like BTW?

Here ya go!
The first one would be an engagement..


And the wedding band...

namurt

I think that's a lovely idea. As you said she does tend to wear vintage jewellery anyway so it sounds perfect. And if not then you could always say that you'll upgrade it on your first anniversary or something, if the money is an issue now.

seamus

elius wrote: »

Its a solid band with a single diamond as far as i know. I think its from about the 1930 or so its very old. She(mum) actually suggested she give me my two nans and hers to make into one ring and we could design it are selves.

The engagement ring will probably work, but I'm not so sure about the wedding band. I personally feel that ring is even more personal, so having the wedding band melted down into two separate rings might be the best approach.

But i dont think its that cheap to do. Buy right do you have to produce a ring when popping the question? I think you do..

You don't have to. I didn't and loads of people I know didn't. I also know plenty who had a ring. I have never heard of any girl being disappointed either way (though I'm sure some are). For most, the actual engagement is more important than the ring itself, so you can't really go wrong whatever way you choose it.

Seoid

Personally, I think it's lovely and I love the idea that it's an heirloom (and hopefully your Nan was happily married!) - although obviously she'd have to be someone who doesn't have her heart set on having a diamond ring!

[As a side question, if you can't afford a ring (which doesn't have to cost 1000s, btw) then how do you expect to pay for any kind of a wedding?]

Seoid

btw I don't think you have to have a ring when you propose. Maybe give it to her and tell her that if she prefers a new ring you can choose one together, however long that takes (give you time to save up). We picked out/designed my ring together (and paid for it together) and I have to say I really enjoyed the process.

elius

or in fact my mum has kindly offered me her wedding ring which is this.

elius

Seoid wrote: »

Personally, I think it's lovely and I love the idea that it's an heirloom (and hopefully your Nan was happily married!) - although obviously she'd have to be someone who doesn't have her heart set on having a diamond ring!

[As a side question, if you can't afford a ring (which doesn't have to cost 1000s, btw) then how do you expect to pay for any kind of a wedding?]

She's not interested in a big lavish wedding family and close friends and we have talked about getting married abroad....

tatli_lokma

Seoid wrote: »

[As a side question, if you can't afford a ring (which doesn't have to cost 1000s, btw) then how do you expect to pay for any kind of a wedding?]

????????

don't you think that is a bit cheeky to ask???

A wedding can cost as little as €150. That is a 'kind' of a wedding??? I find yours a very mercenary view. sorry to be harsh, but I do. By your logic, if you can't afford a ring you can't afford a wedding? very strange.

My granny and grandad had no engagement rings, as times were tough, but instead of spending money on a ring to symbolise an intention to get married, they spent the money on a wedding and actually got married. A few years later when things had improved he bought her a diamond ring. They met when they were 15 and were just as much in love 58 years later when he died.

With your view, no wonder some people feel the pressure to get into debt to buy rings and put on a big show.

The important fact is that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her - you cannot put a price on that. He could give her a barm brack ring and the important sentiment would still be the same.

If we could not have afforded a reception I still would have married my husband. The cost of the wedding is irrelevant its the marriage that counts not the party!

beegirl

I think the engagement ring is gorgeous, go for it I'm a big fan of vintage/antique jewellery personally - my fiance bought me an antique ring but it would have been lovely if it was already a family heirloom!

There's no need to worry about the wedding bands for a while, until closer to when you actually get married.

Good luck!!!

leap

I agree the engagement ring is gorgeous and its got a great story behind it. Im sure she will love it. Go for it!

Seoid

Cincikchick wrote: »

????????
don't you think that is a bit cheeky to ask???

A wedding can cost as little as €150. That is a 'kind' of a wedding??? I find yours a very mercenary view. sorry to be harsh, but I do. By your logic, if you can't afford a ring you can't afford a wedding? very strange.

Please accept my apologies - I didn't mean to cause offence.
Honestly I just typed the first thing that I thought (which is never a good idea on boards.ie!) and I didn't mean to be cheeky or to pry or to come across as judgemental because genuinely, I do agree that it's not about having a big day because the whole point is the marriage afterwards.

[But a ring can be as cheap or expensive as you like but a wedding DOES cost money. I have never heard of anybody who only paid €150 for the civil notification and didn't buy anything else - at the very least there's a solemnizer (unless you stay in the registry office - not sure if they charge?) and food - even a nice dinner for 5-10 people is going to be more expensive than an inexpensive ring.]

As I said before I think it's a lovely ring and I would have loved to have a ring that already meant something like that. It will be even more special for having been your Nan's ring. I think you should go ahead and you can tell her that if she prefers you can keep it as an heirloom and source another ring later.... but I bet she'll love it.

tatli_lokma

Seoid wrote: »

Please accept my apologies - I didn't mean to cause offence.

accepted - I have been known to type before thinking myself :P

Seoid wrote: »

[But a ring can be as cheap or expensive as you like but a wedding DOES cost money. I have never heard of anybody who only paid €150 for the civil notification and didn't buy anything else - at the very least there's a solemnizer (unless you stay in the registry office - not sure if they charge?) and food - even a nice dinner for 5-10 people is going to be more expensive than an inexpensive ring.]

I know of 2 couples who did exactly as you say and literally paid their €150 brought two witnesses and got married. One of the couples didn't even tell anyone other than the witnesses. Afterwards the two witnesses said it was extremely romantic as they had written their own vows etc and it was like they had eloped! Each to their own. At the end of the day if all you want is to be married you can do just that for €150. You don't even need a wedding band - that is just symbollic. once you say the words you are supposed to and sign on the dotted line you are married. all the other things are optional extras - nice optional extras, and don't get me wrong, I myself had them and had a great day, but they do not actually contribute anything to the marriage - they just make the party better! :P
From what I see around me quite often there is a big distinction between getting married and 'having a wedding' if you know what I mean

tfak85

i think the ring is really lovely and she will love it!
you can give her the option to have it made using the metal and stones either, i'm having mine done with a really lovely girl and it's not costing the earth, she charges about 60e to melt something down and then about 20e per stone setting...
PM me if you want her website address as i don't think i'm allowed put it up here!

elius

tfak85 wrote: »

i think the ring is really lovely and she will love it!
you can give her the option to have it made using the metal and stones either, i'm having mine done with a really lovely girl and it's not costing the earth, she charges about 60e to melt something down and then about 20e per stone setting...
PM me if you want her website address as i don't think i'm allowed put it up here!

Pm sent.:)
Id like to give her the option of having it redone if she wasn't happy with it...
Thanks all!

elius

In full swing now went in and asked her mum and dad for permission this morning got the go ahead:) never so nervous in my life...

tinkerbell

Best of luck!!!

beegirl

elius wrote: »

In full swing now went in and asked her mum and dad for permission this morning got the go ahead:) never so nervous in my life...

Aw how cute are you, asking for permission Good luck let us know how it goes!!!

elius

Hi all just to say thanks for your tips and advice. Proposed on friday . And she said yes :). Thanks again....

tinkerbell

OMG YAY!!!!!

That's great news!! So thrilled for you both